Adoption

I read Heather Whittaker’s blog quite religiously. I think she’s an amazing mother and wonder where she gets all her creative juices. She wrote this post recently which persuaded me to follow through with what she was encouraging us to do.

So here goes:

As most of you know… though we’re pregnant with our second son right now, it wasn’t always this “easy” of a journey for us.

Brian and I were married back in May of 2001. After years of trying to get pregnant, being diagnosed as “infertile” and trying our luck out with infertility treatments (and failing), we finally decided to adopt. In all honesty, it never really mattered to us whether our children came from my womb or not… we just always wanted a big family.

I remember when Brian and I were in pre-marital training, he had said he wanted something like 5 kids. I said 3. But now, I think we’re at 4. God only knows.

ANYHOO!!!

We were well on our way to adopting. We had decided we were going to Kenya and had all our paperwork, finances and dates set up. Now, I have to include this part. Adoption is ridiculously expensive. We didn’t have the financial means to do it, though we had the heart, home and everything else. But then, God provided another family to enter our lives.

A family heard about Brian and me through the grapevine and offered us an interest-free PERSONAL loan to adopt our first child. She was an adopted child herself, and when her mother passed away – leaving her with a chunk of change, she and her husband decided to use the money in a way that would make her mother proud. This made the adoption process almost obstacle free. I’m not sure we could have been more ready.

This was in November 2004.

December 2004 – we found out we were pregnant.

This is when we began to debate whether or not to continue with the adoption. We had lost babies before – we weren’t really banking of this one keeping… though we were hoping with all our might that it would. PLUS, it had seemed God had orchestrated everything else to go so smoothly with the adoption… we didn’t really know what He wanted us to do now. We told our immediate family members and a few close friends, asking for prayer.

At four months into our pregnancy, we decided (with a broken heart) to put the adoption on hold. God had opened the doors to adoption for us before and we knew He would again.

Fast forward to now.

Chance Hayden is going to be THREE on September 1st. Our second son is due November 7th. They are going to be 3 years apart. I get really, REALLY sick with my pregnancies and have decided that due to health reasons, this will be our last pregnancy (unless God has a VERY different plan).

We’re not done raising children. The waiting list for China is over TWO years – maybe THREE. Kenya is no longer really an option for us. Ideally, we’d like to keep our kids 2-3 years apart… which means we need to start our adoption process now. We LITERALLY have to start over – choosing an agency, finding funds, finding a country, etc.

You probably think we’re crazy, weird, out-of-our minds. You’re probably right. However, we’re just getting started.

Did you know: if every family in the United States adopted ONE child, there would not be any orphanages?

God calls us to care for the widows and orphans. Since I don’t really do anything else God tells me to do, I thought I’d do this one.

I could go on and on about this… but I’m not sure what y’all would like to know, so I’ll open it up.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Advice?

Jeff

I think it is wonderful that you are considering growing your family this way! As you pointed out, there are way too many orphanages. Every single child living in one needs and deserves to know a parent’s love! Good luck, and let me know if you want more info about our adoption experience!

[Reply]

Aug 25, 2008 @ 4:05 pm

Darcy

Actually, I’m in the same boat. With two pregnancies and two major complications in each one, I’m DONE with making babies, but we want more kids. It is expensive, but we think you get what you pay for.

Aug 25, 2008 @ 4:37 pm

Stephanie

you are not crazy. you are following your heart. you feel God calling you to do this. you are amazing parents whose hearts and home are full of love. adoption is an amazing gift you can give a child. yes, the process might be crazy.. but well worth it! how awesome of you to want to embark on the journey again! i say GO FOR IT!!

Aug 25, 2008 @ 5:21 pm

Sarah Jean

Jenni,
I think this is amazing and remember you talking to me about this back around our reunion time. You and Brian obviously have a wonderful love for family & for each other and I think it would be AMAZING for you to adopt! I might throw in that you should check out Uganda…if you were looking into Kenya. I’ve heard the orphan rate is extremely high there. I’ll be there in March on a mission trip and have a heart for that part of the world, so I just had to throw that in!
I will be praying for you guys as you start this new journey and pray that the Lord will bless the both of you, Chance and the new baby through this!
What an incredible opportunity for you and model for others! I’m excited for you!!!

Aug 25, 2008 @ 6:44 pm

Jill

Wow! I had never heard your story before. Amazing. My belief is that if you feel like you are suppose to do something that looks crazy to everyone else…..it’s probably God telling you to do it. I think it’s awesome!

Aug 25, 2008 @ 6:49 pm

Kristi

Jenni, I don’t think you are crazy at all. I don’t have any advice for you…but I know that Josh and I both have a HUGE heart for adoption. Before I got pregnant with Bryce (first kid, now we actually had started looking in to adopting…not gotten as far as you though. And even though we don’t struggle with infertility (5 kids, not my idea) we still someday really have a heart for adoption and I wouldn’t be surprised if in 5+ years there will be another addition to our family in this way..maybe even more than one. I say, if you have a heart for it, God put it there for a reason…He says that He will ‘Give you the desires of your heart’ and I have learned over the years that it doesn’t mean that He just gives us the things that we want, but that the desires that we have for things like this, the gentle nudging that we feel, the longings of our heart, are all from Him. He gives us the desire! And there has to be a reason for that. So I say, do it, do it, do it!

Aug 25, 2008 @ 8:39 pm

Renee

Hi.. I just asked an orphanage in China and yes.. the adoption process can take anywhere from 2-3 years… because of the US wanting US citizens to adopt from the pool in the US. But I know that you have always had a heart to adopt and I really think.. after all this time.. if it is still so strong.. it’s meant. I completely support you. After all, I also think Jason and I have been called to be an adopting family too. I’ll be praying for leads for you.. and of course.. it may not be as seemingly “easy” this time, but I can say that I believe you and Brian are called to adopt. AND I am here for you through the process.

Excited for 2nd nephew. I have a toy for him (and Chance). They each get their own. Have you thought of a name? I was thinking today how I really liked “Hudson”. Talk to you soon.

Aug 26, 2008 @ 10:22 am

ConnieJ

I don’t think it’s crazy at all. If I could afford it, I would adopt in a heart beat.

I will sure pray for you and your husband during this time, and making this choice.

God bless Jenni,

Aug 26, 2008 @ 1:34 pm

Serena

I think it’s awesome that you are still considering adoption. You and Brian are amazing parents and I love seeing good families having more kids. A child adopted by you would be blessed to be a part of your family.

Aug 26, 2008 @ 2:03 pm

Amy Elder

Awesome! We think the same thing … but $$ was always an obstacle … and now we’ve had a lot of input that in some of these countries, some of the “orphans” are not orphans but the parents are being paid to give them to the orphanages. Keep us stalkers up to date with what you find in the way of agencies and their reputations … maybe we can have a flood of adoptions!

Aug 26, 2008 @ 7:54 pm

Jenni Clayville

Thank you to all of you for all your supportive words. That means a lot to us.

Just keep praying for us. I think we have a lot of work ahead of us.

Aug 26, 2008 @ 9:10 pm

Helen

Heck yes! Let me know if you need help because–being in Hong Kong–I can think of 5 families off the top of my head that have adopted from here and Mainland China. Actually, one of the families started an agency called Mother’s Choice that encourages pregnant teens to have their babies and give them up for adoption instead of having abortions. And they’ve adopted four of the kids from the agency. But yeah…figure all of this out because I plan on adopting like 4 kids too, so when I’m ready, I can just ask you!

Aug 27, 2008 @ 8:24 am