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In the Snack Aisle at Costco…

August 23, 2011 in Faith, Friends, Life Experience, Ministry, Paseo with 22 Comments

I love Costco. For many reasons… but mostly because it often saves me quite a bit of money. It stretches my grocery budget especially when I don’t have much of a budget to work with.

Yesterday was my bi-monthly visit. I had my fruit, veggies, bread, cheese and some meat all loaded in my cart. I had carefully counted out exactly how much money I was about to spend, discounted with the use of my coupons and was ready to head out of the store JUST IN TIME to get our shared car home to Brian so he could go to work. Last stop, snack aisle to get some fruit snacks for Chance’s lunches.

As I turned into the aisle, a petite blonde gal stood smack dab in the middle of the aisle with her cart, reading over ingredients. Politely, I made my presence known:

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am… sorry!”
Her: “Oh… sorry! Let me move that.”

We do the grocery cart shuffle.

Her: “I can’t seem to ever get food WITHOUT the ingredients my son is allergic to!”
Me: “I understand! My youngest was allergic to everything before we had him treated. It was expensive.”
Her: “I just don’t think I’m capable of doing this anymore.”

Her lip started to quiver.

The next thing I knew, this beautiful, but extremely tired looking blonde unloaded. Within 30 minutes, I knew how burdened she was. She has 4 kids. One is allergic to LITERALLY every kind of food out there. Epipens fill his pockets. She’s spent the last 14 years working and saving money to keep him alive. They’ve driven all over Texas, New Mexico and more to treat his allergies and keep them from killing him. And now, her marriage is falling apart. Divorce papers have been filed.

As the contents of my shopping cart warmed to the temperature of Costco, I looked into this strangers eyes and held her hands. All I could see was devastation, exhaustion and the overwhelming feeling of being completely alone and isolated. I didn’t have any brilliant words. I just listened and asked more questions.

Then, before I knew what I was doing, I hugged her.

A complete stranger.
In the snack aisle at Costco.
I held her little body in my little arms.

I don’t know how long since this woman was hugged and told she was worthy… by a stranger, much less… but in that moment, I was reminded how much we all need each other.

We were made for community. Without each other… we wilt away to nothing.

I need you.
You need me.
At the snack aisle at Costco.
And anywhere else there’s breathable air.

I grabbed an old airplane ticket out of my purse and wrote my number and email address down for her. I invited her to Paseo and told her to call or text anytime she needed to. And she did tonight.

In all of this… I lucked out… ‘cuz I gained a new friend.
A new connection.
Increased my community.

And one day… when I need it most, my hope is a stranger will hug me.
Even in the snack aisle at Costco.
… Especially in the snack aisle at Costco.

When’s the last time you hugged a stranger?

Conflicted

August 17, 2011 in Church Planting, Faith, Friends, Ministry, Paseo, Personal Entries with 12 Comments

Last Sunday, Steve (our Community Pastor), announced he was leaving his on staff position at Paseo.

In the last seven months since joining Paseo, the staff team has melted into a pretty tight-knit family. I’ve written times before that I felt each and every one of us served a specific purpose on the team and just about every need and area of concern could be covered due to the variances of each team members strengths and expertise. Steve has always been a part of that.

Steve has also lived here in El Paso (though he is a native Oregonian) the longest out of all the staff members and was the other start-up Paseo staff member alongside Greg. That’s a lot of history.

I know God has released Steve from his position here at Paseo… and part of me is extremely proud of him for following God’s prompting. The other larger and more selfish part of me is extremely sad to not have him be a part of the team anymore because he always helped make the difficult parts of ministry easier with his team work and lovable (and laughable) personality.

Aside from just the “work” side of it… The Jolly’s have quickly become good friends of ours. They are some of our favorite people. Anne has always made herself available to me and my kids (she’s a Nurse Practitioner) and has extended a lot of help and resources with our family not being medically insured. She has made life and health a lot more attainable and given us comfort within our spirits. Not many friends can do that.

Then, there are Steve & Anne’s kids: Abby & Caleb. Chance loves, loves, LOVES Caleb because he’s the bigger boy and Chance learns the most amazing things from him. Caleb has an incredible imagination and is a very good artist. Chance is a better artist and a more well-rounded, imaginative boy because of Caleb’s leading. Abby is older and is the most hands-on “Mama’s helper”. She is one of Paxton’s favorite people. He actually asks for her in the middle of the day or before he goes to bed sometimes (I would be more concerned about this if Pax was 16, but he’s 2). To know my baby loves someone that I know loves him back so much just melts my heart.

I know they’re not going anywhere as a family… but let’s be honest… you really have to put in extra effort in relationships when you don’t see each other on a regular basis. And though the Jolly’s don’t currently have any plans on leaving Paseo (as members) or El Paso… I think anyone who’s ever been in ministry knows we don’t get to make those decisions if we are really following God’s calling.

So, I’m conflicted. I want to be happy for them… for moving forward… for following God’s call to not be as comfortable… but all I really want to do is back up a few weeks and somehow help them change their minds… and God’s call in the process. Because I’m not like Steve & Anne…

I would prefer to stay comfortable in what I know.

How about you? Do you prefer COMFORT or CALLING?

———————

Sidenote: if you have a moment, please CLICK HERE and pray over every person on our staff team. It’s been a tough year, and it doesn’t look like it will be easing up anytime soon. Plus with the adjustments of losing a team member, the balance we currently know as a team will be tested and rebalanced. That won’t be comfortable… so please pray for us.

Thank you!

And The Winner Is…

August 13, 2011 in Adultery, Books, Faith, Friends, Marriage, Ministry with 0 Comments

LAURA with the word “SERENDIPITY”!

Congrats, Laura. You’re about to receive an amazing book!

Please email me to send me your mailing address by clicking on the “CONTACT” button on the left.

Thank you all for playing… and if you didn’t win… PLEASE STILL GO BUY CINDY’S BOOK HERE.

Have a great day!!!

Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken

August 10, 2011 in Adultery, Books, Faith, Friends, Marriage, Ministry with 53 Comments

The first time my friend, Cindy, guest-posted over here was two years ago in 2009.

All this means is we were friends for longer than that because I don’t just have anyone post here. I trusted her. I believed her words were worth reading. I knew everything she had to say could only add to any readers life. The only thing that was “strange” was Cindy and I had never met in real life. You see, our friendship had grown over sharing our lives with each other in the blogosphere and emails.

That changed in May of this year (2011). We finally got to give each other one of the most epic hugs while we were in Nashville, Tennessee. She was every bit what I expected her to be… but more. More beautiful. More gracious. More funny. More taller. No joke. It took two to three of my little Asian steps to match her one tall German goddess strides.

She’s amazing.

And one of the most amazing things she’s done is write the book below.

I was fortunate enough to get an early copy to review. It’s probably because Brian and I were interviewed by Cindy and featured in a small portion of this book. I don’t know why I get invited to do cool stuff like this, but I’ll humbly accept.

In “Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken“, Cindy brings us back to the day her husband, Chris, came home and confessed his unfaithfulness. Not one, but many. And within the many, one was pregnant. Cindy’s life would never be the same. Cindy doesn’t candy coat her story with Christianese or out of context bible verses, but articulately ushers us into her living room to reveal the greatest loves story of all, God’s redemptive love in the lives of the broken.

Cindy is raw but elegant in her honesty and graciously wise in describing her experience. Here are a few of my favorite excepts:

“If you are battling something, if you find that you are sinning the same areas over and over again, chances are that you believe a lie about who God says you are.”

“So many people don’t deal with their grief adequately. They stuff it down and try to be strong for everyone else, thinking they aren’t allowed to feel sadness or they don’t have time to step away from routine to truly grieve. But I can tell you with full confidence that even when people are depending on you, even when life has to go on you must keep moving forward, there has to be time for grieving.”

“When people go through situations that rock their worlds, that destroy their trust and even their hope in mankind, they want to fix whatever is broken – fast. Unfortunately, trust isn’t a destination we reach; it’s a path we walk. Every single day.”

“When we compare our sin with the sins of others, we turn our standard into a moving target.”

“Take time to examine your heart. It’s amazing – we long to have our significant other know us intimately and truly, and yet many of us have not done the work to uncover our true selves and needs.”

Cindy’s book is FULL of grace, conviction and truth. I have already recommended this book to many people going thru similar experiences of infidelity and will continue to for as long as infidelity happens.

If you have survived, are surviving or fear having to survive infidelity in your marriage, this book is a MUST READ. In fact, I’d even got so far to say that if you’ve ever had your trust broken or felt deceived by ANYONE, not even necessarily in infidelity, this book applies to you.

And I believe this so much, I’m actually giving away one free copy away to one of you (or you can CLICK HERE and just buy it… but play my game anyway, k?).

If you’d like a free copy of Cindy Beall’s “Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken”, all you need to do is comment below. I want to get to know you so enter by telling me what your favorite word is and why. I’ll randomly pick a winner by this Friday.

I’ll start:

“Restored” – because that is what I am. I love it so much, it’s tattooed on the inside of my left wrist as a reminder to myself. Being “restored ” is being seasoned, loved, invested in, better than new and having more character.

Your turn. And good luck!

A Bit of Water

June 2, 2011 in Church Planting, Faith, Friends, Ministry, Paseo with 6 Comments

A couple of weeks ago, we had baptisms at Paseo.

I FINALLY downloaded my photos so I thought I’d introduce you to a few people and share their stories.

This is Maurice. Seven months ago, he walked onto a construction work site overseen by Rusty, a Paseo member, and asked for a job. Rusty… who is a natural shepherder, took Maurice under his wing as well as introduced him to Steve (our Community Pastor). Maurice immediately saw something amazingly different in his new boss, and in response stayed out of jail, was consistent in showing up for work and soon accepted Jesus into his heart. Maurice has been clean for almost 3 months now and was the first in his family and friends to invite Christ into his life. Steve baptized Maurice.

This is Amorette. And her dad, Vico, got to baptize her. When kids choose baptism, it always gets me. When parents get to baptize them, that gets me even more. I just keep imagining Brian hopefully baptizing our sons one day and I just light up. So often, we put kids in the box of “they’re kids and don’t really know what they’re doing…” but I remember being a kid and I remember knowing SOME things for certain. Just as certain as I am about those things today. This was one of the certainties I knew about at 12. And the reality is life only gets more difficult after this… so please keep Amorette in your prayers.

This is Mara. She’s Greg’s middle child and only daughter. She’s one of the most passionate people I know. And when Mara makes up her mind, very little can happen to steer her decision away. Mara is also good friends with Amorette… so it was really sweet to see two buddies make a decision to be baptized on the same day together… but separately. Seeing Greg & Jill’s face during all this just melted my heart too. We spend a lot of time with the Hunt’s so, watching Mara get baptized is watching a family member publicly declare her life for good.

This is Rosie. Three months ago, she found herself evicted from her apartment and homeless. Nick (our Leadership Resident for Community Engagement) and his roommate, Andy, gave her a couch to crash on so she could get back on her feet. In the process, Rosie began attending Nick’s Paseo Home group and found Christ there. She’s now on her own feet again and has a new best friend in Jesus. Sometimes, it really takes a rock-bottom to see really see Jesus for who He is… our SAVIOR. Nick, of course, got the amazing privilege of baptizing Rosie into our eternal family.

This exactly what Paseo is about.
This is exactly what my heart beats for.
This is EXACTLY why Brian and I uprooted our family, left everything we knew 1,800 miles away and raise our own support to do what we do down here.

Giving hope to the hopeless and changing lives for Christ.

Your turn.
Share a “hope” story with us!

Second Chances: Cindy Beall

May 26, 2011 in Adultery, Faith, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Marriage, Ministry with 5 Comments

My good friend, Cindy Beall, is one of the most gracious (and funniest) people I know.

What began as me reaching out and grasping for any little bit of hope (and a lot of blog stalking) after the confession of my affair, soon became a real life friendship. I finally got to hug her in real life for the first time two weeks ago in Nashville. We were both at the Leading and Loving It Retreat and what was amazing was when we first saw each other, it was like seeing an old friend again.

This is not Cindy’s first time guest posting over here in my little corner of my internet real estate. She’s posted HERE and HERE before… and this won’t be her last either. Cindy’s book, “Healing You Marriage When Trust Is Broken”, has just been published by Harvest House and will be available soon.

Cindy’s Blog: www.cindybeall.com
Cindy’s Twitter: @cindybeall

———————

The day my husband, Chris, confessed his unfaithfulness to me will be forever etched in my mind. One doesn’t soon forget that sort of experience. It rocks you. It damages you. It breaks you. It shapes you.

It changes you.

It is my belief that when marital unfaithfulness occurs, one has grounds for divorce. I believe the Scriptures speak to this in Matthew, chapter 5. For some reason God, in His perfect wisdom and revelation, said that the marriage covenant would be broken due to this sin.

I could have left my husband and many, including God, would have understood me doing so. But that didn’t mean I had to. Adultery is grounds for divorce but I believe that it’s also an opportunity for forgiveness, renewal, brokenness and a second chance.

The other day that has been indelibly carved into my mind is the day I decided to trust God to make something beautiful from the mess we got ourselves into. That day I decided to take God at His word when He says that in all things He works for the good of those who love him.

In the process of extending a second chance to my husband, I realized just how much forgiveness had been extended to me. From God. From friends. From family. I came to this conclusion: How in the world can I not give a second chance to someone when I’ve received so many myself?

So I extended that second chance my husband. It wasn’t easy. It was far from comfortable. It took every ounce of my being not to throw it back into his face.

And yet here we are…a little over nine years since “the day”. We are closer and stronger than we have ever been. We are more honest with each other and are truly best friends. These last nine years of our marriage have been so much better than the first nine years. God did all of this through two broken, willing people who simply said, “Our lives are not our own, God. Use them.”

We all need to extend second chances.

Love one another. Show grace. Extend mercy.
Because one day you will need it extended to you.