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Second Chances: Mike Foster

May 25, 2011 in Faith, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Ministry with 14 Comments

My friend, Mike Foster (along with Jud Wilhite) co-founded the People of the Second Chance movement. He’s helped manifest a safe and grace-filled place for imperfect people. A place where messed up people don’t have to feel as messed up. A place where the unaccepted can feel loved. A place where the sinner can experience grace… sometimes for the first time ever.

A place where someone like me can thrive.

POTSC allows people like me an opportunity to have God re-reveal His purpose in me. We all NEED a second chance. We all need to GIVE a second chance. And we need to BE the second chance.

I’m humbled that I get to call Mike a real friend. And one day, I can only hope that I extend the same amount of grace that I’ve been been shown in what Mike talks about.

POTSC’s Blog: www.potsc.com
Mike’s Twitter: @mikefoster

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We all have set opinions and beliefs about grace and second chances. If you’re like me often culture, church, upbringing, friends and my own prejudices have crafted these beliefs.

One of the most incredible things that I’m personally discovering is that grace is greater than I could ever of imagined. No seriously! It is wilder, radical and mind blowing than most of us think it is. I truly believe all of us are just beginning to touch the tip of the grace iceberg in our lives.

So what has caused this new thinking? Well…I’ve listened to the crazy awesome stories coming through People of the Second Chance. I have had the opportunity to connect firsthand with people and see how grace has revolutionized their lives. I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone and experimenting more with giving grace.

These things all add up to a much needed recalibration of my point of view. If I had believed in the power of a second chance before, I REALLY believe in its power now. So here are a few simple things I’ve discovered on this recent journey.

1. My ideas about grace are too small. Really waaaaaaayyyy too small. My doubts and fears still cause me to dramatically limit the power of giving a second chance. Grace has been boxed up and bubble wrapped for way too long. It is time for all of us to have more courage and take more risks in exploring grace.

2. A second chance is the greatest gift we can give someone. According to psychologists and researchers, one of the deepest core needs of a human being is a place to belong. Sex, food, water AND belongingness. When we give a second chance we meet this critical need. Judgment pushes people away but grace brings someone close.

3. Real grace makes me seriously uncomfortable. If it is 100%-pure-authentic- no-holds-bar-grace it should knock me out of my comfort zone and cause some serious tension. If it doesn’t do this then it’s probably something different than grace. Radical grace should leave me with questions and confusion…and that’s OK.

4. Grace is a lifestyle, not an idea. We can debate, discuss and preach all we want about second chances but that won’t change a thing. Grace must be unleashed in our day-to-day life. Our real beliefs about grace are carried out in our actions. For the guy who cuts you off in traffic. For the friend that stabbed you in the back. For the lady at work who drives you nuts. That is where second chance living is demonstrated and proved. Grace is a lifestyle choice and must deeply impact how we live and interact with the world.

WHAT IS PEOPLE OF THE SECOND CHANCE? from PEOPLE OF THE SECOND CHANCE on Vimeo.

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Thoughts?

Second Chances: Lori Wilhite

May 24, 2011 in Faith, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Ministry with 8 Comments

Lori Wilhite (the cutie on the left. Tiffany Cooper, on the right is cute too, but she’s not our diva of the day today) is the founder of Leading and Loving It, a ministry that connects, encourages, and equips Pastor’s wives and women in ministry.

We have been friends for over 2 years now… but became close friends about 18 months ago when I watched her and her family not only survive, but rise above an incredibly graceless attack. In response, I saw Lori step up and out of her hurt and extend one of the most gracious and loving second chances to all who were involved.

Through this experience, God somehow connected our hearts and made us soul sisters. It’s one thing to have girlfriends. It’s another thing when God blesses you with high caliber and quality girlfriends like Lori.

Lori & Jud are some of the most generous people Brian and I know. But I mostly love Lori because she laughs at all my jokes. That’s how you become my forever friend.

Lori’s Blog: w ww.leadingandlovingit.com
Lori’s Twitter: @lori_wilhite

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Here in Vegas, one of our church campuses is inside the Florence McClure Women’s Correctional Center. A few months ago, we had the joy of getting to go worship with those ladies in person. We walked into a room with over 300 inmates in their blue jumpsuits. What we noticed immediately was the absolute joy radiating out of those ladies. They were beaming … smiling from ear to ear.

But, something else was immediately noticeable. Most of those ladies, many in their 20s, 30s and 40s, were missing teeth. Some ladies with two holes in their smiles, others with 4 or 5 gaps.

Apparently, when the inmates have dental problems, if it is cheaper to pull a tooth than to fix it, then that tooth is pulled. It does not matter if it is one of their front teeth or not, it is pulled.

So we looked out across this room of women who without shame of their gap-toothed smiles were beaming with gratitude for how God was moving in their lives.

That is the Smile of the Second Chance.

While most of us are not in prison, we sometimes are trapped in prisons of our own making. We’ve been hit, hurt, dinged and damaged along the way. At times those hurts come from others through criticism or betrayal. At other times, they are self-inflicted wounds that we carry because we feel like we do not live up to expectations or somehow feel like the odd man out. We walk around trying to hide our imperfections and our shortcomings. Yes, we may grin … but we refuse to smile widely revealing the gaps in our teeth.

Jana’s Story from God Behind Bars on Vimeo.

And I wonder if it is time, as people and as leaders, to embrace our Smile of the Second Chance … living joyfully and without abandon in who God made us to be. Knowing that we all have imperfections and shortcomings, and not allowing those to take away from the joy of smiling ear-to-ear.

So … smile widely.

Second Chances: Justin Davis

May 23, 2011 in Adultery, Faith, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Marriage, Ministry with 14 Comments

I just got to spend a week with my good friends Justin and Trish Davis while I was in Nashville. Though our friendship has been consistent over the last two years (thanks to modern day technology), nothing is like a giant bear hug and a REAL conversation over coffee.

For those of you who don’t know, The Davis’ story is a lot like Brian and mine… but flip flopped. You can read more about their journey on their blog (which I listed below).

Justin and Trish are not strangers here at JenniClayville.com. They have guest posted before and I’m sure this won’t be the last time either. We are not only thankful for them as friends, but we are beyond grateful that they introduced us to the ultimate second chance in our marriage.

So, Justin is gonna kick off this week’s Second Chances Series.

Justin’s Blog: www.refineus.org
Justin’s Twitter: @justindavis33

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I’ve always been a fan of second chances. I’ve needed about 1000 second chances through out my lifetime. I am, in a sense, the king of second chances. A famous phrase for me growing up was “Just give me one more chance.”

• The first time I came home late and got grounded, I pleaded with my parents, “Give me one more chance.”
• The first time I got pulled over when I was sixteen years old and knew I was going to get a ticket, I begged the officer, “Please give me one more chance.”
• The time I overslept in college and missed a mid-term exam, I remember crying to my professor, “Please Mr. Clymer, give me one more chance.”
• When I got caught drinking at a bar my sophomore year of college, I sat in the dean of student’s office and bargained with him, “If you will just give me one more chance.”
• When I failed a class and was on the verge of not being academically eligible to play basketball, I found myself at the mercy of the registrar “Please, give me one more chance.”

People would always say things to me like “Justin, you have so much potential.” “Justin, if you would just make wiser choices, you could one day reach your potential.” “Justin, when you mature and grow into your giftedness, the potential that you have is so great.”

People who take second chances for granted don’t need to grow into their giftedness; they need to grow into their character. It doesn’t matter how many second chances we are given if we don’t do something with it.

The thing about second chances is that they aren’t guaranteed. You can run out of second chances. I thought I had run out of second chances when my affair happened in 2005. There was nowhere left to run. There was no more potential to try to reach.

What I’ve come to understand is that it isn’t how many chances you are given, it is what you learn from the failure that matters. When Trisha extended an underserved second chance, there was no way I was blowing it. There is no doubt that grace is unmerited favor, but how we choose to live after receiving grace makes all the difference in the world.

What could your marriage be if you valued second chances? Not expected them, but cherished them. What could your relationship with God be if you were grateful for second chances? Not took them for granted, but were committed to making the most out of them.

Second chances can change nothing.
But second chances can change everything.

Art on my Bloggity

May 12, 2011 in Blog Swap, Crafts, Design, Friends with 20 Comments

Meet my friend, Kyle Reed.

He is responsible for JenniClayville.com’s makeover.

Kyle ripped this out of his creative soul this week while I was in Nashville. I had to promise him a seat next to me in Heaven to get him to work on it (I’m not sure why he agreed, but don’t tell him I have no say in those decisions)… but after I had sold him my firstborn, birthright and birthmarks, he agreed to get to work.

JUST KIDDING!

He let me keep my firstborn.

Once Kyle got started, I was honestly shocked because every time I looked over my shoulder at him, a new section was done. All I can say is Kyle is worth every single penny I don’t have. In fact, I would say he’s worth every penny YOU have.

If you need some graphic design work or need helping writing code, contact Kyle. He’s fast, creative and really quite easy to work with.

Kyle’s Blog: thoughtsaboutnothing.com
Kyle’s Twitter: @kylereed

I’m hoping my makeover propels me to blog more. Maybe you can help me with that.

Dos Preguntas… that’s “Two Questions” in Spanish:
1. What would you like to see me write about?
2. When’s the last time YOU had a makeover… of any kind?

GO!

Paseo Staff

February 24, 2011 in Church Planting, Friends, Ministry, Paseo, Prayer with 12 Comments

I am very aware that many of you are constantly praying for me and my family. THANK YOU! And since you’re praying, I thought I’d start introducing you in on the people I work with down here. Not only does our team need prayer to accomplish the vision God has set before us… but the mere fact that they need to work with me… well… not much more needs to be said, right?

Paseo Christian Church is a 4 year old church plant down here in El Paso, Texas and we currently have 5 staff members (including me). I’ll eventually introduce to you the team members that directly report to me, but let’s just start with those I work for and with.

Let’s start at the top:

This is Greg Hunt.

He’s the Lead Pastor at Paseo. His wife’s name is Jill. She’s a stay-at-home mom and successfully home schools their 3 kids – Ethan, Mara & Reed.

While living in Illinois, God gave Greg the original vision of Paseo. He and his family not only heard The Call, but they followed through and obeyed. Because of them, Paseo was birthed.

Greg loves Mexican food and the Steelers. What I love most about Greg is he’s direct, yet gracious. I don’t ever have to guess what’s going on with him because he’ll tell me. For those who know me best, you know how much I value this in someone.

Greg’s Blog: DesertRambling.com
Greg’s Twitter: @deserthunt

This is Steve Jolly.

Steve is our Outreach & Missions Pastor and is one of the two original Paseo cast members.

He’s from Oregon too. Tigard area. He’s married to Anne who is a Nurse Practitioner and they are both fluent in Spanish. They have two kids – Abby & Caleb.

Steve doesn’t just “talk” outreach… he LIVES it. He knows just about all the downtown homeless people by name and they know him. My current favorite thing about Steve is he doesn’t laugh. He giggles. And it’s contagious.

Steve’s Blog: JollysHouse.com
Steve’s Twitter: @osujolly

This is Nate Williams.

Nate is Greg’s Leadership Resident. He oversees Home Groups and is a part of the teaching team at Paseo. He’s is married to Desiree and they have two beautiful daughters – Fiona & Elsa.

My first week here, Nate ran up to Mikey, hugged her and said, “I’m so glad you’re here and I can’t wait to work with you!” Apparently, we’re the only two Asians he’s ever seen. And he knows he’ll never live this story down.

Nate’s our token PC user. But I guess that’s ok for now because Nate is amazing at building community and raising up leaders that truly want to make a difference in their circles.

Nate’s Blog: NateHarriman.wordpress.com
Nate’s Twitter: @elpasonate

And last but not least…

This is Patrick Leong.

He may need the most prayer out of all these boys. Not only is he still going to college in New Mexico and commuting 1.5 hours round trip to be a part of the team at Paseo, but he just happens to be my Leadership Resident.

Patrick is pretty darn mature for being 19 and totally has “IT” when it comes to being a Worship LEADER… not just a song leader. There IS a difference. I’m humbled that I get to help mold him in any way… and hope I don’t mess him up… too much.

He, like Nate, is a PC user. I plan on remedying this soon.

Patrick is 1/4 Chinese, but speaks Spanish WAY more than Chinese. I say that makes him a Chinese wannabe. And when he eats, I have to make sure we quadruple the portions. It’s a flash forward of what my life is going to be like when Chance & Pax are teenagers. Oi!

Patrick’s Blog: PatrickLeong.com
Patrick’s Twitter: @patrickjukebox

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Well… there you go. We may be “staff”, but we’re not the staff of a mega-church. We all raise our own support to serve Paseo, El Paso and Juarez. This is the team. Subscribe to their blogs. Follow them on twitter. Most of all… cover them… US… with prayer.

Ready? Get Set? PRAY!

Love My Friends

January 13, 2011 in Family, Friends with 1 Comment

Yes, I’ll miss Portland when we move. But you know what I’ll miss the most?

My friends.

My life-long friends.

One of them wrote about our little lunch we had on Sunday. Instead of writing my own version, I figured I’d just link it all here. She’s the one who took all the photos anyway.