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Year 32

September 28, 2010 in Family, Friends, Jenni, Personal Entries with 16 Comments

I turned 32 on Saturday.

I was fortunate enough to have my birthday be celebrated over three days.

Friday: Coffee in the morning with Janet. My annual birthday lunch with Angela & Jilly. Then, I came home to a yummy pot roast dinner made by my amazing hubby, Brian. I usually do the cooking so this was a nice treat. We also took advantage of some ice cream vouchers we had and took the kids to ice cream after dinner.

Jilly made this dessert for us. SOOOOOOO good!

Ang has a birthday clown fetish/tradition. and my face looks huge in this photo. HA!

Ang made this card for me. It makes me laugh every time I see it.

Both Chance’s and Paxton’s faces CRACK ME UP!!!

Saturday: My calendar was mysteriously blocked out for me, telling me I was busy, but not telling what I was busy with. Brian and Mikey had planned for me to be treated to an all afternoon spa day. Mikey and I got massages and mani/pedi’s. Then we went to Todai for all you can eat… and got attacked by a freaky clown.

Sunday: Brian let me sleep in till 11am (which hasn’t happened since high school), then Mikey came over to watch the kids so Brian and I could go out on a date. We got to spend time some face time minus kids. Love my kids… but I need my honey.

And as I look back on how these three days were spent, I realize how very blessed I am.

Friday was filled with long-time friends. The one’s who have shown themselves constant in my inconsistent life. Friends that didn’t give up when I was ready to. Friends that didn’t abandon me when I deserved loneliness. Friends that remind me that I HAVE friends even when I feel completely alone.

Saturday was spent with my Mikey, who is undoubtedly my bestie, though I’ve known her for only a year. Not many find THAT friend you know you can trust your life with in EVERYTHING. It’s weird how she almost always knows what I’m thinking before I even say it and vice versa. She’s proof that girlfriends aren’t just a “good thing” but a VITAL need. Saturday was spent in my “new”… celebrating who I am today after ALL the changes. I like who I am now.

And finally Sunday was spent with the one person I can’t wait to live the next 32 + 32 years with… but I would also willingly die for in a second. Sunday was a large chunk (did I just call Brian a large chunk?) of what I live for.

In three short days, I saw my past, present and future… and I was yet reminded again that God has never failed me, and never will. It’s moments like this that sustain me for the moments I forget.

I’m thankful for 32. SO thankful.

JustONE Conference

August 31, 2010 in Faith, Friends, Life Experience, Marriage, Ministry, Web/Tech with 3 Comments

The JustONE Virtual Conference for Pastors’ Wives and Women in Ministry starting soon.

Here are the top 10 great things about JustONE.

10. You don’t have to arrange childcare … unless you count putting an episode of Dora on to help entertain.

9. It costs nothing … nada … zip … zero. Yep, it is totally free.

8. You don’t have to travel. Airplanes aren’t nearly as comfy as your couch.

7. You’ll get to hear from some amazing leaders … amazing. Trust me in this.

6. There will be two … count them … two opportunities to participate every Tuesday.

5. You can get some primo typing practice while you are chatting it up in the chat room.

4. You can drink in mass amount of encouragement.

3. We’ll be talking about relationships & criticism, marriage, family, time & balance, growth and passion.

2. Your husband will wish he could join in.

1. It is going to be epic … amazing … fabulous … and all-around, pretty darn great.

So join us each Tuesday September 7th-October 12th at 12pm EST/9am PST OR 9pm EST/ 6pmPST at this link: http://live.mediasocial.tv/potsc

There is no need to register, but if you do we will be able to send you reminder emails before each session. Registration is available at: http://leadingandlovingit.com/virtual-gathering/

Here are the ladies that we will be hearing from:

Lisa Jernigan and Patty Wyatt…………Donna Politz

Lisa Young………………………………Jenni Clayville

Cindy Beall………………………………Holly Furtick

Tiffany Cooper…………………………..Heather Whittaker

Kay Warren………………………………Lisa Hughes

Kerri Weems……………………………..Sherry Surratt

Natalie Witcher………………………….Amy Groeschel

Jessica Cornelius……………………….Brandi Wilson

DeLynn Rizzo……………………………Lori Wilhite

Grace Is For Sinners WINNER

August 30, 2010 in Adultery, Books, Friends, Weblogs with 1 Comment

And… our winner for a free personalized signed copy of Grace Is For Sinners is…

JAYME S.

Congrats on your new book! I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. I’ll email you to get your address so we can get that out to you soon.

For the rest of you… please help support Serena by buying her book.

Thank you for reading Affair Week.
Thank you for contributing your comments.
Thank you for not judging.
Thank you for praying.
Thank you for choosing to see other sides.
Thank you for helping bring this to light.

Just thank you!

Grace Is For Sinners Review

August 27, 2010 in Adultery, Books, Faith, Friends, Life Experience, Marriage, Ministry with 8 Comments

If I read this book 5 years ago, I may have never finished it.

I would have been disgusted.
I would have judged Serena.
I would have said “grace costs more than that”
I would have been completely uncomfortable with how many loose ends her story holds.

However, today is a completely different story. Today, I AM Serena (save a few minor differences). I need grace. I’m completely aware that God may have allowed me to fall as far as I did so that I could understand and accept His grace. Which also leads me to believe that I may have been living as a “Christian” yet fully REJECTING His grace before all this.

So, in a very warped way… I’m thankful for the fall so that I could experience restoration.

In this autobiographical book, Serena writes about her experience navigating through life in search for who Jesus is. In the good and in the bad. As Christians, we are taught to flee from evil. We are supposed to hate sin… but somewhere in all that teaching, we have confused “hating the sin” with “hating the sinner”.

We are supposed to flee from evil, but we end up fleeing from those who trip into it instead. The only problem? In this, we end up abandoning those who need community and the Church the most… the one’s Jesus came for.

In this book, Serena bravely speaks up from the “fallen’s” point of view. Not only does she speak from our side (yes, I said “our”) but she backs it up FULLY with scripture. Most church leaders use scripture to cast out sinners and alienate them… but Serena uses God’s words to remind us of God’s love for the sinner and His desire to restore us.

Serena said it best this way: “Jesus wasn’t the atonement in case you accidentally sin. He was the atonement because you hopelessly sin. The freedom that the Bible is talking about is not something you earn by making the right choices; the freedom is the lack of punishment when you don’t make the right choices.”

Here’s another one of my favorite excerpts from chapter 17:

“Grace, by definition, is undeserved authentication of restoration and sanctification. That is a thesaurus-assisted way of saying that grace is an unfair gift of a new beginning and a clean slate. It’s unfair because it goes to the undeserving. Simply put, grace is for sinners.

A person can follow the rules and busy themselves with the work of ‘furthering the kingdom’ and figuring out more ‘relevant’ ways to ‘spread the good news’ but how can they ”grow in grace”? (2 Peter 3:18) How do you grow in something you are a part of only by failure? If grace exists only as a result of failure, then what good does it do to try to be good and follow a religious formula? When you cease to need grace because you’ve reached a place where you can maintain on your own then that is when you have fallen from grace.”

I could quote her forever… because her book is JUST THAT GOOD. But don’t just take my word for it. It’s a must read.

If you haven’t entered to win GRACE IS FOR SINNERS yet, you can HERE. But seriously… if you don’t win this ONE copy I have to give away… go and buy it HERE or HERE.

Have you read her book?
If so, what do you think?

Serena Woods: Black Sheep (Pt 2)

August 25, 2010 in Adultery, Faith, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Life Experience, Marriage, Ministry with 29 Comments

(… continued from…)

The ‘threshing floor’ was the most painful place I’ve ever been, but I wouldn’t take it back. I hate what I did, but what happened in my spirit outweighs it. That’s where the ‘rejoicing in discipline’ comes in. If you’re being disciplined, then you did something wrong. The rejoicing is not in the selfish gain of sin, but in the grace of the lesson.

I learned to not assume a person is the worst thing they’ve done. The ‘kinship’ I feel within the Body of Christ is with those who are beautifully marked with the scars of the ‘threshing floor’.

I was sifted as wheat. The lies were thrown out and burned. And I felt every bit of it.

So, what’s my story? How can my life, reshaped by sin, possibly glorify God? I wondered that for a long time.

I used to be full of pride and judgment. That was put to death when I fell. I loved God, but was still able to sin. I never believed that was possible. I thought I was good. I thought I had it all figured out and I was vocal about my view of Christianity and I gave God credit for my self-righteous judgment of others. I don’t know how many people I turned away during my own ‘Emperors New Clothes’ parade.

Even so, I wanted to have a real relationship with Him. I wanted to really know Him. I wanted to be used by Him. He gave me the desire of my heart. He let me see my worst and taught me what Christianity was really about. He taught me the truth about wanting to do right, but still doing wrong. He taught me how if felt to be condemned by people who call themselves ‘Christians’. He showed me what it was like to be treated like I was an embarrassment to the cross and anyone who could keep me out was doing God a favor.

God’s arm is not amputated—he can still save. God’s ears are not stopped up—he can still hear. There’s nothing wrong with God; the wrong is in you. -Isaiah 59:1-2

So many people, who fall to the severity that I did, never come back to the Christian community. Even if they believe they’re forgiven and approved, coming back into that nest of hornets is the last thing they’re willing to do. I’m not like that. I don’t care what people think of me. I know what happened in my spirit. I know what God thinks of me and I’ll let Him use me like a hot poker to those who think they know better than He does. People don’t have as much of a problem with the sinner as they do with the audacity of grace.

I did everything wrong, I knew better and He still saved me. It doesn’t take away from the beauty of reconciled marriages. It magnifies the message of grace. You can applaud, rightfully, the man and woman for fighting through every human inclination toward homicide. You can applaud the miraculous power of God to restore trust and passion to a raped marriage. In my story, there’s not a man or woman getting any applause. God is the only one honored here.

Not everyone does the right thing. There are too many people who are not encouraged by a story that can never be their own. I’m here to show that God’s grace doesn’t leave anyone out. This isn’t encouragement to do the wrong thing. This is for people who have already done the wrong thing. My purpose is to show people that you can never go too far. God will always take you back.

So many people think that grace gives the sinner the last laugh. It’s my purpose to explain that grace changes the person into being someone who will choose differently next time. Grace gives the person another chance. If you see me laughing, it’s because I’ve been set free.

I use my voice to reach those who don’t know how dirty Jesus will get to rescue those the rest of the world thinks ‘went too far’.

God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he’s rich in love. He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins. –Psalm 103:8-12

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Do you think you’re too far gone?

Because GRACE is for SINNERS

Serena Woods: Black Sheep (Pt 1)

August 24, 2010 in Adultery, Faith, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Life Experience, Marriage, Ministry with 16 Comments

My brave friend, Serena, has written a truly authentic and self-examining post here from the viewpoint of a woman who had an affair, had a baby, got a divorce & married the man she had an affair with.

In my opinion, she’s truly one of the bravest women I know. Her story isn’t wrapped up and tied up with a perfect little ribbon… but she still chooses to share it boldly. She doesn’t place blame. She doesn’t make excuses. She owns all her own decisions – and because of that, God has given her the most amazing platform to speak from.

It’s not what we’ve done in the past… it’s what we do with it now… TODAY.

Serena’s Blog: www.graceisforsinners.com
Serena’s Twitter: @serenawoods

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“… Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, … that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” –Luke 22:31-32 NIV

That’s the first thing God ever used the Bible to say to me. So ominous, but I had no idea what it meant.

I’ve heard so many beautiful stories about marriages that survive an affair. Poignant stories that parallel God’s relationship with His bride. If couples are willing, God uses their pain and heartbreak to feed ‘His lambs’.

I had an affair, but my story is different in the middle. When I had the choice to fight the current or ride it, I rode it. My marriage ended in divorce and I married the man I had an affair with. I had reasons and they made sense to me. I learned something about reasons, though. They’re the path of candy bits on the way to the trap. Candy can get you trapped, but it can’t set you free.

There’s a strong line when people talk about grace. For a lot of people, I’ve crossed it. If you look at my sin, I’m not a good story.

“You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” – Anne Lamott

I was raised to run from evil and that meant people who do evil. There was no separation between the two. The deed and the doer were the same and I had a lot of out of context, half-scriptures to back it up. If ‘you know the tree by the fruit’, then you know the person by their sin. I was self-righteous and brutal to people in the name of Jesus.

“Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.” — Blaise Pascal

I’m not a good story if you look at my sin. But, my story doesn’t end there.

There are numerous scriptures about chaff being separated from the wheat. The wheat is truth and the chaff is truth’s shroud. There is a threshing floor where the shroud is stripped from the truth.

His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor and gather his wheat into the barn, but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.” -Matthew 3:12 ESV

I never saw this in me. I didn’t know I was capable of such disgusting behavior. I had no problem in owning my fault and deserving the pain that comes with sin. I deserved getting disowned by the Christian community. The only problem was, I was still alive. I was told that any attempt I made to be forgiven would be seen as ‘role playing’. I was cut off from the cross. Jesus was heavily guarded by His followers. The shroud covering His truth.

I had a baby, got divorced and remarried in the same year. I thought our love would make it worth it.

I was wrong about a lot of things…

Count on it: The day is coming, raging like a forest fire. All the arrogant people who do evil things will be burned up like stove wood, burned to a crisp, nothing left but scorched earth and ash— a black day. But for you, sunrise! The sun of righteousness will dawn on those who honor my name, healing radiating from its wings. –Malachi 4:1-2 MSG (emphasis mine)

I was naïve about grace back then. I thought that it would cover me. I didn’t realize how much it would change me. Jesus let me feel the dark long enough to separate the false from the truth. The chaff from the wheat. I was ‘sifted as wheat’ and ripped apart on the threshing floor.

Grace is crazy and intrusive. God didn’t save me with judgment. He saved me with love. I learned a lesson about grace. It doesn’t just cover me. It changed me.