On May 27th of 2001, Brian and I were married. Young and naive about life… but in love… or at least in like.
In July of 2006, I chose to step into a full blown affair that lasted 2 years. For another year, I held onto that weight… thinking I would go to my grave with this secret.
On April 24th of 2009, in a hotel room in Orlando, Florida, I finally confessed it all to Brian.
After months and months (more like years) of intense and challenging counseling, coaching and a consistent prayer circle of friends, we decided… together… that we are better together than apart.
On May 22nd of 2010, in front of our closest friends and family members, Brian and I renewed our wedding vows.
We renewed our vows the week before our actual wedding anniversary so, to mark our in-between week, I thought I’d focus this whole week on second chances. I’ve received the ultimate second chance with my sweet husband… and as a result have received every other second chance I never knew I needed.
I have some amazing friends guest blogging this week about second chances:
… since we renewed our wedding vows.
… since we publicly declared we’re in for life… again.
… since we publicly divorced our old marriage.
A year.
And though most of this is amazing and worth celebrating, this year also triggers the bitter memories of WHY we had to renew our vows.
We all celebrate the good, but sometimes we forget that recognize good because bad is also present. So, while Brian and I celebrate the restoration of our marriage, know we are also praying for you:
… for those of you who have contacted us and your marriages are hurting.
… for those of you who haven’t yet but your story is painfully similar to ours.
… for those of you who feel hopeless.
We know. We’ve been there. I’m so sorry. But there is redemption on the other side if you choose it. And a new beginning is possible.
It took a couple of days for me to recover from Sunday enough to write about it.
Sunday was… what’s the word… CHALLENGING. It was a small staffed week at Paseo because it was the end of Spring Break. Just me and my guitar for music and just Greg for sermon. However, just because we had less people on the platform didn’t mean that the attendance was less. Nope. Still had full houses both gatherings.
Let’s start at the beginning:
Brian and I get there at 8ish (like usual) to set up. I wasn’t here last Sunday because we were in Phoenix, so when I started to look for some of our sound gear to start setting up, it was like a wild goose chase. We had a lot of people step in to help last week, but because they don’t necessarily run the technical side of things on a regular basis, gear had been placed in different locations.
What should have taken me 30 minutes to set up and get going, ended up taking me 1.5 hours… right up to the start-up of service. Greg was great. When he showed up, he ran around looking for stuff with me, found most of it, let us start a few minutes late and still delivered a flawless message.
We actually started the first song without a working vocal mic for me. So, I just led acoustically. Justin (one of our worship team members) finally stepped up to the board while I was up and remedied the situation (it’s tough being being behind the sound board AND on the platform at the same time, haha!). However bad we started out, we seemed to find our footing by the middle of the second song. And by “we”, I mean “me”.
I had never been so glad for a very short set. Our Sunday Setlist was only 3 songs because we had planned a Prayer Walk over Downtown El Paso for Paseo attenders that morning (you can do that with church plants):
1. Desert Song – Brooke Fraser 2. Grace Like Rain – Todd Agnew 3. Hosanna – Brooke Fraser
Once we took care of technical difficulties (I do believe Satan lives in sound equipment), you would think we’d have no more distractions. Yeah. No such luck today.
One of our attenders, Becky, is a schizophrenic gal that works in the adult entertainment industry. I’m not sure if she came to church high on the wrong meds or what, but she decided she was going to stand up for most of the service adjusting her pants… in the wrong direction. Greg got an eyefull… but he just kept on going. Our sweet gal also decided to stay for both gatherings. During worship, she also enjoyed the music so much she decided to lead the rhythm section that I didn’t schedule. She clapped, LOUDLY, on 1, 3, 2.5, 3.75 and 4.25. This week also happened to be a week I didn’t use in-ear monitors.
I can’t remember if I giggled or not because I was just so worn down during the services, but I WILL tell you I prayed… A LOT!
However… even with ALL the distractions, I still feel the gatherings went extremely well. We had Nate & Andy share their story:
CLICK HERE to access the podcast from this week. It was a short sermon, but a great one in my opinion.
With that said, I’m ok if we don’t have this kind of a weekend ever again. I know Greg and I are still recovering from Sunday. It honestly zapped us. Please pray for us… for rest and recovery. For those of you who have had similar days at work, you know exactly what I’m asking prayer over.
We continued on with our James series this week and Brian & I got to share our story here in El Paso.
First, here’s our Sunday Setlist:
1. Cannons – Phil Wickham
2. All Creatures of our God and King – David Crowder Version
3. Lead Me To The Cross – Brooke Fraser
4. Better is One Day – Matt Redman
5. Cannons (Reprise)
Our Worship Team this week:
1. Patrick Leong – Worship Leader & Acoustic Guitar
2. Sam Guzman – Acoustic Guitar 2
3. Milt Haddock – Vocals
4. Michelle Gutierrez – Bass
5. Curtis Williams – Drums
6. me – keys and vocals
It was really cool to help Patrick process through leading a team he’s not necessarily used to leading and watch him lead UP… not just by telling people what to do (though he’s plenty assertive), but to lead by encouragement and love. It was a fun week to just be a part of the team.
Now, onto the gathering. Nate spoke on being a people under the Word. CLICK HERE to listen to his podcast. It’s kind of a miracle we even have a podcast for this sermon because Nate doesn’t like mics. In fact, the last time I put one on him, he ripped it off mid-sermon. I just about taped our mic around his face… and that seemed to do the trick.
Like I said before, Brian and I got to share our story…
It’s so interesting. I used to think being UNDER the Word meant I was living under a list of rules and regulations. Now, I realize that living under the Word means I’m living under a blanket of freedom.
I was raised to be self-sufficient and to never need help from a stranger. Some of that is cultural, some of it is parenting and some of it is just my own personal pride issues. And honestly, with all that’s going on with Japan and other parts of the world right now, I felt my wee little cry for help seemed more like complaining than a real need. However, all that is moot… because I need help.
A friend of mine has encouraged me to write for help even though I really don’t want to. I don’t want to because I’d rather rely on myself. I’d rather God show Himself miraculously without me doing my part. I’d rather not show I’m struggling. But that is my own sin issue… and this is bigger than me.
Two weeks ago, Brian was offered a job. It didn’t pay a lot, but the good thing was it had a good commission structure so in the long run, it could have been promising. That was a relief to us because our support raising isn’t going as well as we were hoping. Many of the people who have pledged to give just haven’t followed through. We’re all going through economical pressure and life just happens… so we’re not blaming them in any means. We’re just saying the support we had counted on and budgeted for is falling way short. So, you can understand our relief when Brian landed this job.
Brian went to a Thursday evening conference meeting last week and everyone treated him as staff. So you can imagine our surprise when we received an email (not a phone call) from his soon-to-be employers last night retracting the offer.
This one thing may not have been so horrible if it weren’t for:
1. Being rear-ended last Friday.
2. Losing access to our only car.
3. El Paso being SOLD OUT of rentals (Spring Break).
4. Having zero funds left in our support raising bucket.
5. Hurting physically from the accident.
6. Tending to sick babies.
It’s just a lot right now.
I’m asking for your help. I need two things:
(ONE/UNO) – PRAYER. Intercession. Coverage in the spiritual realm so that Satan and his demons would be bound from messing around with the Clayville’s for just long enough for us to catch our breath. (TWO/DOS) – SUPPORT. Would you PLEASE consider digging into your pocketbooks and giving to our mission. We NEED more supporters. Even if you have at one point given to us, would you consider giving again? If you have pledged to support us monthly and haven’t started yet, would if you could start now? If you already give monthly, would you up your monthly giving for a couple of months?
All you have to do is click on the “Online Giving” button in the left column and it will take you to Paseo’s secure giving site. Just type in “Clayville Family” in the memo section to ensure the funds get saved into our “bucket”. And remember… all that you give is tax-deductible.
With all that said, we are still absolutely 100% positive we are in the right place at the right time. We are church planters raising our own support. We are missionaries perfectly placed in the heart of where God wants us. God has and IS still promising to care for our every need.
To every negative I listed above, there were positives:
1. The guy that hit us was insured.
2. Friends loaned us their second vehicle for the week.
3. The Hunt’s offering us THEIR second vehicle to drive to Arizona next week.
4. We have a few VERY consistent monthly supporters.
5. Free chiropractic and massage treatments.
6. More time with my babies.
“Blessed be Your Name, when I’m found in the desert place. When I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your Name!”
I-10 Westbound around 50 mph.
The traffic stopped suddenly.
I hit the brakes.
I looked in my rear-view mirror.
Watched them slam on their brakes.
Held my breath, praying they wouldn’t hit us.
And they come maybe 6 inches from hitting us.
Exhale.
Thank you, Jesus.
Traffic goes again.
We speed up. Maybe 45 mph.
Traffic stops.
Brakes.
Full stop. Far enough from the car in front to see their rear tires.
I look at my rear-view mirror.
Please slow down.
Nope. Are they looking down?
Wow, they’re coming at me fast!
BRAKE! BRAKE! BRAKE!
Brace myself.
*SCREECHING*
BAM!!! We’re hit!
Babies screaming!
BAM!!! We hit the car in front.
I turned around to check on my babies.
“You guys ok?”
Chance: “What was that, Mama?”
“We were in a car accident. Are you ok?”
Chance: “Yeah. I hit my head. It kinda hurts in the back, but I’m ok.”
“Ok. Pax? You ok?”
Paxton: “Whoa, Mama! Do again!”
Uh, yeah. He’s fine.
We pull over to the shoulder on the right.
Three cars.
Black car in front of me.
Me.
White Dodge Caliber behind me.
I call 9-1-1. “I was just rear-ended!”
I answer all their questions.
Dispatcher: “The Police are on their way, ma’am!”
“Thank you!”
I text Brian:
I unbuckle. Turn around in my seat.
Crawl back to double check on my babies.
Good thing I’m still somewhat flexible.
Pax is smiling and saying, “Bang Bang Bang!” over and over again.
Yeah, he’s fine.
Chance is rubbing his head.
His arm and the car door is covered with sticky juice that had gone airborne.
I cuddle him for a minute, thankful even for the stickiness.
“Ok, boys. STAY HERE! DO NOT GET OUT OF THE CAR! Mama’s gonna check on everyone outside, ok?”
“OK!”
I get back in the front seat and look out the front windshield.
The black car I hit is gone.
Interesting.
I look back.
White car is still there.
I get out… walk the 100 yards to their car.
Please speak English.
“Are you ok?”
Him: “uh… no Englais.”
Me: “Crap… um… me no habla Espanol.”
Him: “uh… uhh….”
Me: “WAIT! I have an iPhone. I have Google Translator!”
Him: “huh?”
*tippy tappy type type*
Me: “¿Estás bien?”
Him: “Si… si… efiajweoijfa;oijsldkjaei”
Me: “CRAP! Como? no? wha? uh… Policia coming.”
Him: “Policia? Uh. Ok.”
I look in the car to check on the gal in the passenger side.
Her knees are all banged up from the dash.
I type out: “Help is on the way. Are you alright?” and hit “translate”.
She replies: “Si… si…”
A firetruck is there within 3 minutes and police a minute after that.
Nice work, El Paso!
A team of firemen help get the gal out of the white car.
A team come check out my boys and me.
Chance re-enacts the whole accident for them.
Paxton yells “BAM BAM owie car!”
The firemen are GREAT!
Brian and our friend, Sam, pull up in front of us.
Brian hugs me and unbuckles Chance for a cuddle.
A fireman crawls out from under our rig.
HEY… when did you get down there?
He brushes himself off and says:
“You can drive this, but you need to drive it straight to an auto mechanic.”
Our under carriage was not-so-bueno.
We waited for the police to give us the incident report card with case number.
THEY’RE INSURED! Thank you, Jesus!
“You’re free to go! Take care!”
“Thank you SO much!”
The gal from the white car limps up to me and asks for my número.
I give her my google number.
What? You never know.
She takes my hand and says: “Los más pequeños?”
Pequenos? Little… that’s little… kids. RIGHT!
Me: “It’s ok. I mean, we’re ok! You ok?”
Her: “Si… si… lo siento!”
“Está bien, amiga.”
That was the most Spanish I’ve EVER spoken.
Three thoughts:
1. I’m so thankful no one was terribly hurt.
2. I love my big rig.
3. I really need to learn Spanish.
This week is Brian and my anniversary week.
