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When Hurt Runs Deep…

As many of you know, I just recently returned from a mission trip to Moldova. One of my awesome teammates, Michelle Carlson, is guest-posting about some next steps today.

I have some deep respect for Michelle. In the time I’ve spent with her, I found myself captivated more and more by her passion, determination and heart for the broken. I got to help her train the girls at the Restoration Home in self-defense (which is an absolutely new concept to them). She’s an unsung hero.

Please read her story here and how it birthed the plans of “Next Step” that are coming our way… Here’s Michelle!

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Growing up I had a fascination with bubbles. I absolutely loved them. One could say I was borderline obsessed. They seemed so carefree and light, buoyant in the breeze and captured by the sun’s radiance. Over time I enveloped my own bubble though…one that was not so light or carefree.

It is easy for each of us to live life in such a hurry that we miss the realities falling around us. We can grow angry with the store clerk that moves too slowly or scream at the guy that cuts us off in traffic. We rarely think about the person behind the action. Our thoughts focus mostly on ourselves, our families, our needs and our lives. That’s the bubble I was stuck in, until recently.

Two years ago I knew God wanted something more from me. I just had a feeling that I was supposed to have another child. Keep in mind my children were 10 and 12 years old at the time. My husband agreed that was God’s calling and BOOM, I was pregnant in no time. An excruciating first trimester, with reports of a fast growing and extremely healthy baby, was followed by even more excruciating news. At my 16 week check up there was no heart beat. There was no more healthy baby or dreams of hugs and kisses. I didn’t even get a parting gift from the doctor. What I did receive was massive amounts of confusion, which I washed away with wine and vodka.

I didn’t sleep for days after that. To say I was angry would be an understatement. I felt lost. I felt like all purpose had been sucked out of my life and God had just dropped me here to wallow until my death. Drama, party of one anybody? Pity followed soon after and I became a piñata of emotion. God was ever patient with me though and after I had wallowed in my tears, He reached down. I felt as though He lovingly cupped my chin in His hand, wiped the yuck from my face and gently said, “If you’re done being a baby, we can move forward together.” He speaks to us all in different ways people!

I realized that yes, He did call me to do more; however, I hadn’t truly waited on Him to guide me. I did what I always have and just took off in the direction which seemed best. Through a series of most fortunate events, I found myself smack in the middle of Chisinau, Moldova with a group of hard-to-forget girlfriends. It took God taking me out of my bubble completely for me to truly listen. I never would have thought of myself as a missionary, but when God says “GO!” it’s best not to question the process.

During my stay in Chisinau, I was able to develop a friendship and partnership with Beginning of Life ministries. The staff here works tirelessly to rebuild broken lives of sexual abuse and trafficking victims, as well as bring awareness to the community. Together, we are building a house. Well, we’re building a gym really. Beginning of Life had a dream to have a wellness center that would aide in rehabilitation and restoration. It will also be a safe place for the youth to socialize and it will open many new jobs. But, why should I tell you? Here are the reasons straight from Vladimir, my sweet friend in charge:

  1. Prevention: Within the first 2 years the center is open, hundreds of girls will be trained in self defense. This will, for the first time, enable them to defend themselves from the abusers.
  2. Rehabilitation: Sports and fitness provide a very positive impact on people’s lives. Many of the girls suffer from heart problems, and the fitness center will offer a unique opportunity for recreation.
  3. Social Skills Development: This fitness center will serve as a safe place for the youth to spend time together, grow relationships and chat about future endeavors. It will be a place where they can dream and discuss making their dreams a reality.
  4. Reintegration: The wellness and fitness center will provide a brand new set of skills and jobs for the girls who have graduated the rehabilitation program. This will help to provide them with stability and a larger sense of self worth.
  5. Encouragement for staff: The staff of Beginning of Life works tirelessly to provide encouragement and safety to these girls along with education and awareness to an entire community. The fitness and wellness center will be a place for the staff to take care of themselves, just as we are instructed. It will provide stress relief, healthier and more energetic staff, team building and an opportunity to strengthen their shoulders for the load they choose to carry daily.

The pain that once ran deep through my veins has been restored to passion. A passion bent on making change and creating a difference. How can you participate in such a passion?

  • Pray for the people of Chisinau and all those involved in this project.
  • Spread the word! Share the site, share the story, encourage others to learn about what really is going on.
  • Give a gift. Hope chest has an easy-access donation page set up for this project. You can choose your donation and it’s 100% tax deductible! It’s a win/win for all. You will have played a HUGE part in the transformation of an entire nation,
  • Consider visiting :) I hope to have a team visit while I am staying in Chisinau. This team will be able to see what Beginning of Life does on a daily basis and be able to touch the lives of many. You’ll immerse yourself in the culture and even get to enjoy some seriously awesome food. Get your hands dirty for change and I promise YOU will be the one reaping the most benefit.

The link for the donation page is HERE.

Happy Valentine’s Month

From the Clayville’s heart to yours! Happy Valentine’s Month… even though I really don’t like Valentine’s Day.

Clayville's Heart

Hope you are all well. Know you’re loved. And if you’re interested… CLICK HERE to read my follow-up Moldova E-Newsletter Update.

I’ll be back to write here soon. Just getting caught up on work and jetlag.

Moldova: Day 5

I have been fortunate enough to get to serve in Moldova this week some really great friends. To make it even better, I’ve also gotten to be here in Eastern Europe with my amazing sister, Helen. Here’s a photo taken from our city tour today of the old Soviet Tanks. I’m not sure we were supposed to do that… but we did.

Old Soviet Tanks

Today, I asked her to guest post a snippet of her thoughts here in my corner of the interwebs… and she chose to talk about a couple of amazing men we’ve gotten the privilege to work alongside. Without further adieu… “I Need A Hero” by Helen Wong Taylor.

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Serge & Peter

Serge and Peter exude confidence. They are young, smart, funny, and good-looking. They are men’s men. And they spend their days modeling exemplary behavior to the youth of Moldova. Together, Serge and Peter teach at 19 of the 40 Russian public schools in Chisinau; they are positive male influences in a female-dominated educational system. Making small-talk with Serge three days ago, I asked him how long he had worked for Beginning of Life (BOL) as a prevention trainer. He responded, “Three years–it is good for me to do what I am passionate about.” Love that.

Three times a week, with the permission of the Ministry of Education, Serge and Peter go into schools to teach about domestic violence, human trafficking, sexual abuse, and other societal problems. More important than telling students what they shouldn’t do is modeling what they should do. Serge and Peter place equal emphasis on empowering students to respect themselves, respect each other, and work hard to pursue their dreams.

Serge

Their intentionality has made a huge impact.

Hopeless teens have realized that suicide is not the only option, girls have empowered their mothers to seek help in abusive situations, and boys are stating that their pride in life will come from being good husbands and fathers. This did not happen overnight. BOL has been in schools for over 10 years now. These youth look up to Serge and Peter–they are heroes.

What would our world look like if each person intentionally pursued something for God’s Kingdom for 10 years or more? This world needs heroes…

Will you be one?

Moldova: Day 4

What a busy week it’s been.

My brain has not stopped to rest. My heart feels as if it’s about to break into a million pieces. And my body just wants to do MORE. I want to help MORE. All of us feel this way. My friends/teammates are all responding differently:

Prudence is having dreams in Russian, which is interesting since she doesn’t speak it.
Alise keeps crying out of love, anger and empathy, which just makes me love her more.
Makeda is making up stories about addictions she doesn’t have.
Michelle keeps beating me up to prove a point… and I love it.
I want to collect all these babies and their Mama’s and just take them home with me.
Idelette carries more and more bags everyday and keeps buying fruit from vendors.

Prudy, Me & IdeletteAliseVladaIdelette

Self-Defense Lesson
That was right before Michelle took me down. :)

This evening, we spent some time in the Youth Center talking to teenagers. Maria talked about the hiring process for employees in the US. The kids are brilliant. They had some really great questions, and honestly… if I had a business and they were legally papered to work in the US, I would be the first to hire them.

One of the girls who was asking the most questions was sitting right next to me.

AnastasiaMeet Anastasia. She’s 21 and studying at the University. Isn’t she beautiful?

Her English is better than some Americans and her questions were filled with intelligence and hope. Then she said something that made my heart sink:

“I’m not so smart… but if I stay at a job and work hard, could I get an increase in pay?”

Not so smart??? This girl is BRILLIANT! You could see it in her eyes and in how she listened. But how could I say anything? I didn’t even know her.

In that moment, I prayed:

“Lord, speak Your truth into her heart. God whisper who You’ve created her to be into her ear and let it travel to her heart to stay. Block the lies of the world that have hurt her, and change her for Your glory. Let her know she matters. Help her believe!”

After the program, she turned towards me and we started chatting. She shared a little of her story and we talked about working hard for what you want but staying balanced. After a bit, she asked me a something along the lines of: “How do you stay balanced? I get home from school and work and I just feel empty!” I’m sure I said something brilliant (of course), but the only thing I remember specifically was that I thought she should write. Like how I blog, she should write and allow her feelings, ideas and discoveries to be spilled out onto the page. She seemed to cling to that idea.

In conversation

Photo by PrudyChick

Then I said: “Anastasia… when you said you were not so smart… you know, that’s absolutely NOT true. In talking to you and watching you, you are SO intelligent, smart and beautiful! You can’t say things like that to yourself.” She agreed and said, “I won’t say it again!” As we continued talking, I thanked God for that moment and hoped she heard the truth about herself.

As she asked more about why I blogged, I began to share Brian’s and my story of Restoration. Never did I see any judgment in her eyes. Just understanding. We are not who we were yesterday when we choose who we are tomorrow. We continued chatting, and the crowd around us grew. Before we knew it, the rest of my team was talking to Anastasia. 10 women, pouring into 1. Then she said something profound:

“I am going to change the world. I think that we are something special. We are not our parents. We will do something better!”

We found out later that 3 years ago, she was a very different girl. We weren’t told any details, only that she went thru a very dark and sad time… and that it’s a miracle she’s alive and here with us today.

Alise cried. Prudy commented that my words may not have come at a better time. I felt amazed. Honestly, just humbled that I got the opportunity to meet such a bright and wonderful young woman. I’m glad she wasn’t taken from this world 3 years ago because she blessed me tonight by letting me remember God’s grace for what it is… AMAZINGLY MIRACULOUS.

And today, He is just as real as He’s ever been. God is still in the business of miracles, and I believe we’re watching one in the works.

Anastasia’s gonna change the world, folks. The truth is… we ALL can. One day at a time, one choice at a time. I’m truly humbled and privileged to know her.

Moldova: Day 3

IMG_8386Today, I have my friend, Makeda (who is on TeamMoldova with me) guest-posting. She and I served on the same team today in teaching English to students at a Russian public school. I thought I’d let you hear another team members voice today.

So, here’s Makeda…

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Today our team was split into three teams as we had the opportunity to go into the public schools of Moldova to help the students work on their conversational English. We used a lesson created by Paul Sims, which helped make today brilliant. I was in a group with Jenni, Helen and Alise; it was definitely a highlight of this trip for me. We taught five different high school classes.

Teaching EnglishWe opened up the lessons introducing ourselves and then we gave them an opportunity to ask us questions about us or America. The younger grades asked more general questions about America – our sports and life in general. The older kids, on the other hand, were definitely very quick to jump into personal questions. Twice, we were asked outright about our faith and Jenni was able to share about Christ in the middle of a Russian public school!

When the kids learned that Jenni was a singer and musician, they asked her to sing for them. She chose to sing the National Anthem and in the last stanza, the rest of us joined her. Side note: Jenni has a beautiful voice and so does Alise, these ladies voices are like angels. I was grateful to have my voice lost in the midst because I clearly would have brought them down. :)

After the first class, our translator “encouraged” EVERY class to ask us to sing. So, we were incredibly patriotic today as we sang the National Anthem FIVE TIMES! :) It was a lot of fun actually. For the last few classes we asked the kids to sing the Moldovan National Anthem. Here is a video of one of the classes singing the anthem; they were so good:

Part of our time with the students involved us playing a game with them called “Future Me”. Looking 10 years into the future they had to introduce their future selves to the class. A couple of things stood out for me about these kids. First up they are really smart and very sharp. But what struck me most was that each of them was able to dream, on at least some level, about a future.

In their words was hope that they would be successful, have families and enjoy life. When asked what their proudest moment would be, more than one young person mentioned raising a good family and/or being a good mother/father/wife/husband. How fabulous is that?! It was inspiring to hear them talk. One student stated she wanted to be a receptionist in a hotel. In America that might not seem like a great job to aspire to but in Moldova is actually quite reputable. One must be able to speak English very well, be good at math and have great inter-personal skills; it’s a wonderful thing to want to be when one grows up.

My favorite person from today was a young man who said his proudest moment would be enjoying every day and being thankful for each new day. Despite the odds, this young man was choosing joy in the middle of his circumstances. I don’t know his story but I do know that he lives in the poorest country in Eastern Europe with very little chance of being really “successful” and yet he chooses joy. It was this kind of hope that I saw in teenager after teenager today.

It is clear that the odds are stacked against them but what wasn’t as clear to me is whether or not they know it because, despite everything, they are holding onto hope and choosing, for today at least, to believe that life can be better for them. It is this belief that is driving the work of Beginning of Life in the school system and once again I was inspired to see the work they are doing.

It was such a joy to get to spend the morning with these young people, who are not so different than American teenagers. I think the other ladies would agree with me in saying that we had a lot of fun today hanging with those students. It was a spot of light in the middle of a dark space and it was good to breathe in that light today.

Moldova: Day 2

Natalia, Jenni, Serge & AmandaToday is only the second day of our seven day mission… and I already feel as if I’m mute, incapable of expressing my heart with words. I wish you could be here to see what I see, to hear what I hear, to feel what I feel. Obviously, you’re not, so I’m going to try my best to describe today.

This morning, our group of 10 women divided into 4 groups to visit former or at-risk human trafficking survivors.

Amanda Sims and I were paired with Natalia & Serge. We went to visit two different families. Natalia, who speaks Romanian, Russian and English was our
primary translator and guide.

Moldovan Village Home

Our first family lived out in the country in a small village. There, we met Iliona and 3 of her 5 children, Tanya (7), Maria (4) & Anna (1). Her two older children were at school. Iliona is 28 years old with kind eyes and a beautiful smile, but at first glance, you would think she was in her late 40′s. This Romanian speaking family quickly invited us into their small, yet cozy 300, MAYBE 350 square foot home. This home houses, Iliona, her husband, their 5 children & her mother.

Natalia, Amanda and I spent time chatting with Iliona and played with her children. No one in this immediate family had every been trafficked, but BoL is a part of their lives because they are the prime candidates for trafficking. They are considered an “At Risk Family” because with 4 extremely beautiful young daughters at the poverty level (they bring in between $1,000 to $2,000 dollars a year) the chances of at least ONE of the girls being trafficked is highly probable.

Fortunately, Iliona’s husband works IN the country though he works two jobs. His night job is security at a local village plant and his day job is at a wood cutting factory. However, his day job doesn’t pay him in Leu (Moldova’s currency)… they pay him in wood. And he takes it because that’s how he keeps his family warm.

The second family we visited weren’t so lucky. Tatiana (36 year Russian speaker) was trafficked. She was married and had her first 2 children with a man who couldn’t make ends meet. She received a job offer in Turkey from a friend who offered $2,000 a month and quickly jumped at the opportunity. As her mother cared for her two babies in Moldova, Tatiana, found herself sewing during the day hours and prostituting herself in the evening hours for nothing close to eighth of what she was offered. Somehow, miraculously, the police broke into the establishment she was forced to work and and rescued her. They sent her back to Moldova.

Soon after her return, her oldest daughter and nephew were brutally killed in a car accident (on a road we actually drove on today). Her husband couldn’t handle tragedy after tragedy and the marriage ended.

The "Titanic"

Tatiana currently lives in a 400 sq ft “studio” apartment in a condemned building with her second husband, son and youngest daughter, Michaela, who’s 3. A small wood stove sits in the middle of their apartment that always has a fire burning inside & a pot of water heating on top for baths, dishwashing and clothes cleaning. They live in a neighborhood where known social “sinkers” (ex-convicts, drug addicts, etc.) reside.

This building is nicknamed The Titanic.

Isn’t that nickname just full of hope and second chances. If that isn’t bad enough, the only people who know about Tatiana’s trafficking experience are the staff at BoL. She hasn’t told her husband and family in fear of social isolation. If it weren’t for BoL staff, she would be living her horrific past alone in her own mind.

But thankfully, because of BoL & HopeChest, these families know they are NOT alone in this horrible and terrifying journey. I am proud and humbled to be on this trip.

And at this time… I don’t know what else to say. But if you’d like, you can read Amanda’s post from today over HERE.

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