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November 4, 2010 in Church Planting, Faith, Ministry, Paseo with 4 Comments

A few weeks ago, Brian and I announced our upcoming move from where we’ve been our whole marriage, Portland, Oregon to El Paso, Texas.

While we were prepping our support letter, we realized we didn’t have contact information for a lot of people we thought would want to either:

1. Receive our newsletters
2. Be a part of our prayer team
3. Help support us financially

So we thought we’d ask y’all.

If you are interested in any of the above, we’d love to get your contact information. Instead of publicizing your private information here, Brian and I created a quick form you could fill out. This is a private form system that only Brian and I will have access to. Please CLICK HERE to access the form.

Thank you all for being a part of our lives the way you have thus far. I’m humbled by the community here. Thankful!

Paseo in El Paso (Part Two)

October 15, 2010 in Church Planting, Faith, Family, Life Experience, Ministry, Paseo with 108 Comments

(continued from HERE)

I hear God pretty clearly these days.

There was a time when I didn’t. For about three years, I didn’t hear His voice. I missed it. I just longed to hear His voice again… and on the plane ride home, I heard Him.

His voice was still and quiet. Barely a whisper. But the magnificence of it made the hair on my neck stand on end.

I leaned over and said to Brian: “I think we’re supposed to move to El Paso. But I don’t wanna.”

Brian looked at me and replied: “I think the same thing. But I wanna.”

DANGIT! DANGIT ALL TO BLURG!

In the last year, Brian and I have been more in sync than we ever have our whole marriage. This wouldn’t be the first time God revealed something separately to us at the same time. And when this happens… it means “HANG ON!” because we’re in for a ride.

You’d think because our trip was such a great experience this would be a no brainer. But there was SO much change and “ask” involved:

* I have ALWAYS lived in the Pacific Northwest.
* Brian’s parents are in the PNW and there are grandchildren involved.
* My friends.
* Paseo is a church plant and cannot provide a salary, so we would have to raise support for our living expenses every year.
* I’m comfortable.
* I hate moving.
* I love LOVE love my neighbors.
* The mere thought of the unknown terrifies me.
* I’ve never raised money for a long-term mission before.
* The closest naturopath that practices NAET for my family’s allergies in El Paso is 154 miles away.
* No Whole Foods in El Paso.
* No predictability.
* Trees & hybrid cars.

It all comes down to this…

… I’m SELFISH.

I put my own comfort and rituals over God’s desire for me and my family. I am WAY more in control if I think God is in a little box that I can contain Him in. I’d rather just pull Him out when I need Him to grant me my wishes like Aladdin’s genie. You’d think I’d know different by now… but I am one seriously stubborn mule.

So for a week, I wrestled with God. Literally. Every night starting from our return from El Paso, I barely slept. I either tossed and turned with nightmares or I stayed in that restless in-between awake and asleep state. I fought. I resisted. I justified my selfishness. I cried. I mourned. I threw a fit. I begged Him to give me something else… something easier… cuz I JUST.DIDN’T.WANNA.

I did most of this quietly, but I DID process my true, honest thoughts with Brian, our family, a handful of my closest friends and accountability partners.

I was EXHAUSTED.

Saturday night. I threw in the towel. I waved my white surrender flag to God. I wasn’t going to fight him anymore. I felt defeated… from fighting myself. And by that next morning, I had decided to choose JOY in obedience.

Instead of fearing what might be, I’m embracing the adventure.

Brian & I have never been better placed in our relationship with each other to do something like this… TOGETHER… NOW. We’re not leaving any loose ends untied in Portland, and we’re not running from anything. We have never been more free to just go, be, learn and serve.

The Sunday I surrendered myself to my God regarding El Paso was also the first night I actually slept peacefully since returning home. It’s now Friday… and I can happily report I’ve slept wonderfully every night since. Not only do I have a complete peace about our decision, but I can honestly say I am really REALLY looking forward to where our journey is taking us.

Now, it’s just all about mastering the details… but that will be another post another time.

The Clayville’s are going to Texas!

ASIAN IN THE HOUSE!!! HOLLA!!!

Paseo in El Paso (Part One)

October 14, 2010 in Church Planting, Faith, Ministry, Paseo, Worship with 30 Comments

Brian and I have been processing our trip down to El Paso this last week (plus). The main reason for going down was to candidate for the Worship Pastor position at Paseo Christian Church.

We had been down to El Paso before for our friends’ wedding (they were stationed at Fort Bliss at the time of their wedding)… but that was 8 years ago. The first thing we noticed when we landed was that El Paso had grown quite a bit since we last visited. That’s always a fun thing to see.

Greg (the lead pastor at Paseo) was there to pick us up at the airport and took us straight to his house where he and his beautiful wife, Jill, hosted us for the next five days. Bless their hearts.

The next five days were a whirlwind.

Church members toured us all over El Paso (as well as parts of New Mexico). We spent one-on-one time with MULTIPLE couples. Many invited us into their home for a delicious home cooked meal while others treated us to some of their favorite El Paso restaurants. I led a full band of people I barely knew but immediately fell in deep, deep LIKE with. We rocked out in band practice and then I led beside them on the platform the next day. And MAN oh MAN are they a seriously talented bunch of musicians.

Playing with this team humbled me and drove a desire within me to be better than I currently am. Being a part of leading Paseo into worship that Sunday morning reminded me of some of my favorite days leading at Sunset for students. I remember looking out and seeing their innocence as they cried out to God in anthem song. I remember feeling like I wasn’t alone but part of something WAY bigger than I could ever imagine. I remember feeling so small, yet I belonged.

This time I looked out and saw honest, authentic, broken, seeking and worshipful men and women singing their hearts out, hands lifted, faces raised, eyes closed. The feeling was familiar… but oh so different. I wasn’t leading anymore. I was being invited into a worship experience. Paseo was warmly inviting me to worship our great and powerful God WITH them.

Oh how I’ve missed feeling like I’m part of a body.

The next two days didn’t slow down much. We met TONS more people, drove down into the very poor areas (the projects), met some of the homeless people Steve works with, saw some of the different projects/organizations Paseo has partnered with and helped out with, watched Steve speak Spanish to a few Mexicans, realized I wasted 6 years taking French, realized I needed to learn Spanish, wished for a superpower in which I could steal Steve’s magnificent Spanish speaking skills, discovered I was ridiculous, saw a graffiti’d plant (seriously… it was amazing), had dinner with the entire Paseo Elder Team & Staff, shared our story, and attended the weekly staff meeting (which I’m proud to say I successfully STOPPED myself from derailing. thankyou!)

WOW RUN ON SENTENCE… moving on…

Even while we were on the plane headed down to El Paso, I truly thought the possibility of the Clayville Clan ending up in the desert was a long shot. The only reason Brian and I even agreed to go was because we both heard God separately say to us that He wanted us to see what was there. And when we hear God… we obey. Little did I know our trip down there would change how I saw everything.

We returned home with a pit in our stomach.

I was about to see how very selfish I really was…

(to be continued)

Trip to El Paso

October 8, 2010 in Church Planting, Faith, Friends, Ministry, Missions, Paseo with 63 Comments

** This post has become a sore subject for some people. I wrote carelessly in some aspects and tossed words around when I shouldn’t have. I have openly edited what I should have written and apologized for how I’ve offended. So, when you see all the orange markings, that’s what that’s all about. I hope you still read into the heart of what I was trying to say despite my use of broad words. Thanks. **

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Brian and I spent the last week in El Paso, Texas (I know… Asian in Texas… WHAT?) with Greg Hunt, Steve Jolly and their families. They invited us down to check out the possibilities of partnering with them at Paseo Christian Church… but more importantly, how Paseo reaches into the community of El Paso.

El Paso is what Brian and I *lovingly* refer to as the “shoulder of Texas” mostly because of where it’s located. If the state had arms and legs, El Paso would be in the left shoulder (I obviously offended a couple of El Pasoan’s with this term “armpit”, so I am correcting it now and calling it a “shoulder” from now on when referring to location). It’s right at the border of Texas, Mexico and New Mexico (and it’s a short drive to Arizona).

I’ll write more about my personal feelings while I was there a bit later (I’m still processing them), but for now, I’ll leave you with these stats.

* Legal Population: approx 800,000
* Illegal Population: approx 950,000 (probably more)
* Juarez Population: approx 2 million
* I just included Juarez because though El Paso is in Texas and Juarez is in Mexico, El Paso is more like a suburb of Juarez – which makes Juarez/El Paso seem more like one city. And when you’re there, it feels more like they’re their own country. Not Mexico or Texas or New Mexico or the USA – just the Juarez/El Paso borderplex. It’s estimated to swell to 6 million by 2020.
* There’s about an 80% hispanic 20% other race split.
* El Paso is about 10% evangelical – predominantly Catholic (apathetic at best). Church is part of culture. BUT I’m told living the resurrection or personal with Jesus or outside Sunday living is low.
* Average age is around 30 years old.
* El Paso poverty rate: 28% (that’s more than twice the national average)
* They have 7000 millionaires in this environment – which is more like a 3rd world (developing nation) city economy
* Crime rate: El Paso is the 2nd safest city in the nation, which I find impressive and encouraging considering it bumps up next to the most violent & dangerous city in the world (Juarez has had close to 5000 murders in the last 2 years). However 60% of the drugs smuggled in from Mexico come through the El Paso borderplex. The USA does $1 billion a day worth of trade with Mexico… 1/6 of that comes through this borderplex – so if the drug war doesn’t stop – trade will & we have a potential of being decimated economically.
* El Paso is the only 1st world city that borders a third world city in the world. Consider those dynamics.
* Fort Bliss, which is the Army’s 2nd largest installation (1700 sq miles), sits adjacent to the White Sands Missile Range. It brought $1.7 billion to the economy of El Paso. There’s about 40K soldiers here – which means there’s another 100K or so which are family & another 10K of support.
* El Paso has about 8 inches of rain per year. Hi… I’m from the Pacific Northwest. All I know is rain. I love dry heat!
* Although the culture places a high value of family unity – there is a large single mom population in El Paso. Greg believes it’s larger AND younger than national average. The culture among a good percentage of the males in El Paso is “yeah I have a wife, BUT I also have at least one woman on the side”. It’s not publicly stated BUT it is an underlying reality in the culture in El Paso (as well as in much of the American culture), which breeds a distrust in many men.

I write all this because something we noticed while we were there was El Paso is somewhat of a forgotten city. It’s not a destination vacation spot. Not many want to be there. Many of the people we met that grew up there either stay there because they don’t know or don’t care that there’s really an “outside” or they leave and don’t usually come back, though we did meet a few couples who really love living in El Paso. And as Brian and I traveled around the city, we both felt an overwhelming darkness despite the sunny exterior of it all.

HERE is another blog post written by someone who currently LIVES in El Paso. (CLICK HERE to read)

El Paso needs prayer. No… She needs WAY more than prayer. She needs some intentional action.

Whether our family ends up in El Paso or not, our lives have been changed by spending time there. God has expanded our minds and hearts to see into His. We can no longer look at life and the comforts we live in and feel justified in it.

Please pray for El Paso/Juarez… and for us as we process through a possible life-changing decision.

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** UPDATE **

For the first time ever, we’ve decided to disable comments from this point on. This place is supposed to be a safe and gracious place for open discussion and the comments are getting less and less constructive, gracious or loving towards each other. On a personal note… we appreciate people coming to bat for us as much as I truly appreciate others challenging and stretching us. We just don’t think batting at each other does anyone any good.

Thank you.