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Joanne

Brian, me and our two boys went to Phoenix this past few days to attend Brian’s grandfather’s funeral. Grandpa Forest passed away on Friday evening. The services were beautiful (he had a memorial service at the church as well as a military funeral service at the cemetery). I’ll write more about this later because it was one of the most beautiful events I’ve ever observed.

Our 8 hour drive was somewhat uneventful. Some traffic. Stopped for dinner. Lots of potty breaks.

We pulled off the freeway. It’s 9:30pm.Way past the boys’ bedtimes. But 5 minutes till we were home. Good enough. I look down to text Mom & Dad to tell them we were almost home when Brian pulls the car over and exclaims:

“That guy is punching her in the face!”

WHAT??? I look behind me on the sidewalk and I see two dark figures struggling. The next few minutes feel like a whirlwind.

Brian parks the car to the side of the street (no parking on this street, mind you) and gets out.
He runs toward the couple and steps in front of the girl.
Chance unbuckles his seat belt, “I wanna go too!”
Me: “NOPE! Get back in your carseat!”
I call 9-1-1.
“9-1-1 Operator, what is your emergency?”
“There’s a man here hitting a girl on the street.”
I give our location.
He’s no longer hitting her, but he’s yelling.
She’s yelling back.
Brian says to the not-so-gentleman, “You need to just walk away.”
The guy flings a few crude & uneducated words into the air and walks away.
Girl is crying.
I just hold her. She’s shaking.
I don’t know what to say.
Me: “I’m Jenni. What’s your name?”
Her: “Joanne.”
Me: “Joanne, can we take you somewhere?”
She doesn’t have anywhere to go.
It’s freakin’ cold outside.
I crank up the heat in our car and put her in the passenger seat.
Police show up.
Then another pulls up.
Then a police truck pulls up.
Then a firetruck.
WHAT IS GOING ON???
Chance & Pax are in police car & firetruck heaven.
We give our reports to the officers.
They question her. She lies. Denies everything.
My heart drops.

Once the police were out of earshot, I sat with her again.

I asked her, “Why didn’t you tell them the truth?”
She replied, “Lady… I love him. I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“We can get you help.”
“I really appreciate you for taking time, but I’m nobody.”

I grabbed her hand and made her look at me in the eyes…

“Listen carefully, Joanne. This is important! You are NOT a nobody. If you were nobody, we wouldn’t have stopped. We wouldn’t be here right now. You are somebody. You are somebody beautiful and special. I don’t know who told you you weren’t but they are liars. I see you are breath-taking and worth so much more than you know. I KNOW you are somebody… and I hope you believe that about yourself someday too.”

She cried.

“That’s really nice of you. You don’t even know me.”
I tell her, “I know enough.”

I wrote down my phone number for her. And my email address (just in case), handed it to her and said:

“I’m hoping you don’t go back to him. But I know you might. And in case you do, and in case you find yourself in this situation again, I want you to make the situation different because you have the power to do that. This is my number. Call me. I’m just around the corner and I will come get you. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Thank you!”

And then I asked if I could pray for her. For her and him. She said yes… and she cried straight through my prayer.

We’re finally home. Our “5 more minutes” became “an hour later.” We had enough time to explain to our boys what happened. We talked about why we stopped, why Daddy was so brave and why we do the right thing even with people we don’t know and EVEN when it may not be safe to.

Chance had some questions and thoughts… like he always does. Pax wanted to know why we weren’t at the hotel anymore (he was more enamored with the flashing lights on the police cars. I’m ok with that.). We did the best we could with both of their questions.

** Quick note: if you’re a Joanne… read the bolded italics up above again. Tell someone. And if you think you have no one, tell me. Click on the “CONTACT” square on the left column near the top. I WILL get back to you and we’ll find you resources together. YOU are beautiful and made with a purpose. NO ONE gets to lay a hand on you like that. NO ONE.

For the rest of you out there: if you ever see stuff like this going on in public… STEP UP. It IS your business. What if that was YOUR daughter/sister/mother? Do the right thing. For humankind.

My husband is valiant, brave and a hero. He proved that tonight. In front of me and in front of our boys. Not because he was trying to prove something… but because he was going with his gut and doing the right thing. He could have gotten punched. He knew that. He did the right thing anyway. I am so proud of him!

What would you have done?

POTSC: the Church

For some… this is what the Church looks like.

As a Christ follower… I KNOW the Church, the body of Christ, doesn’t land on one domination or one group of people. But the reality stands (especially down here in the borderland)… this is who represents the church.

I am a Pastor at Paseo Christian Church. I believe that with my leadership comes a higher level of accountability. With people… but especially with God. But what happens when the boundaries of accountability help cover up the mistakes and the horrible wrong-doings?

I’ll be honest here. I have grace for a lot of things. But I would have a VERY difficult time extending grace if someone hurt my child. Mama bear might come out and rip your face off.

DO.
NOT.
MESS.
WITH.
MY.
KIDS.

And there are some things that are done… that can never be undone.

Sexual abuse. It’s violent. It’s damaging. It’s irreversible. When it comes from someone who’s a spiritual guide that is supposed to be SAFE, it violates not only the physical, emotional and mental sides of us, but it destroys our spiritual being. How are we to ever look at God and trust Him when we can’t trust our earthly guides that help connect us to Him.

And when it comes to children. It’s unforgivable.

Or is it?

How audacious IS grace?

POTSC: Mel Gibson

If there has ever been a fallen star… the most well known might be Mel Gibson. Well… maybe a close tie to Charlie Sheen.

Mel Gibson went from People Magazine’s “The Sexiest Man Alive” to “not-so-sexy-due-to-ridiculously-erratic-public-behavior”. Nothing takes you off the “sexy list” faster than anti-semantic tirades, drunken escapades, domestic violence and hate-filled, racist voicemail rants.

So here’s my question: Does Mel Gibson deserve a second chance?

Do you think he’ll make it back out of the ick he’s recently found himself in? Do we just love to hate people that seem to have it all? Do we find pleasure in seeing others fail? Or is he not deserving of any more chances because his true colors are finally showing?

What do you think?

POTSC: The KKK

I’m not white. But I clearly remember wishing I was most of my childhood.

My best friend in elementary school was Simone. She was black. Beautiful. I remember holding her hand at recess time and when she let go because we had to get back in line to go to class, I looked down to see if her dark chocolate covered skin had rubbed off onto my paler skin.

It hadn’t.

I was a bit disappointed because her skin was so beautiful.

And that’s the thing. Different is BEAUTIFUL…
… but different freaks the crap out of us because we don’t know how to control it.

I didn’t live through this time. The time when the KKK raged and minorities (mostly blacks) hid. But I clearly remember 9/11 ten years ago… and I’m quite certain I will never forget that.

Different.
Different cultures.
Different thoughts.
Different ideas.
Just different.

We talk about “different” being good… but what if “different” hurts you or someone you love? Would you forgive them? Would you not only forgive them, but actually love them?

Skin color may not rub off… but I will forever remember the imprint Simone left on my heart.

And I’m better off because of her.

—————–
Never Beyond Series Posts:
Darth Vader
Mike Tyson
Casey Anthony

POTSC: Darth Vader

What does cinematography evil look like?

Darth Vader.

Vader clearly had opportunities to choose good. He was chosen and trained by the best. He could have been a Jedi. But he had a dark side. Don’t we all?

We all have a choice… and isn’t that what it all comes down to. CHOICE. FREE WILL.

He sliced off his own son’s hand. Now THAT’S a horrible person, right?

But even movie goers wanted redemption for him… for evil… for Darth Vader. If we can root for him…

… why can’t we root for ourselves?

————–
Never Beyond Series Posts:
Mike Tyson
Casey Anthony

POTSC: Mike Tyson

What’s the first thought that comes to your mind when you hear MIKE TYSON’S name?

Heavyweight Boxer?
Convicted Rapist?
Woman Beater?
Ear Biter?
Thug?
Cheater?
Tattoo’d Freak?

Here’s a man I remember growing up knowing as the “Greatest Heavyweight of all time”. Tyson was a household name. We all watched him rise to glory… and quickly fall out of it. But doesn’t everyone who rises to glory eventually fall? Isn’t it what we expect now?

What’s interesting is recently, we’ve seen him speak pretty boldly, transparently and authentically about his past addictions. He’s not hidden from his past. He actually seems like he’s stepped up, stepped out and choosing to play a more responsible role as a citizen. And some seem to even accept him back into “our” society by supporting him in his special appearances in multiple movies and “functions”…

But how many of us are still writing him off as a loser. A freak. A cheater.

Does Mike Tyson deserve a second chance?
Is he a People of the Second Chance?

 

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Other Never Beyond Posts:
Casey Anthony

And two of my favorite tweets from @MikeTyson today:

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