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Prayer

January 21, 2012 in Faith, Forgiveness, Friends, Life Experience, Marriage, Prayer, Second Chances with 1 Comment

**This is the post I wrote for this past Paseo E-Newsletter**

“I’ll pray for you!”

Who knows how many times I’ve heard that in the last 30 years. And though most of the time it came from a well-meaning person, even as a young child, I knew what it really meant:

“Oh, I’m sorry… that sucks! How do I get out of this awkward conversation?”

I won’t lie. I have been guilty of having those exact words exit my lips. And the moment I turned and walked away, I forgot all about that person… till next week when I saw them again.

It comes down to selfishness & lack of compassion.

SELFISHNESS: I didn’t want to squander my prayers away on others because somewhere deep inside I believed I needed to keep all of them for myself. And to be honest… growing up in a dysfunctional and abusive home meant I needed all the prayers I could get. I was running out in my “God Meter”.

LACK OF COMPASSION: I really didn’t care about anybody else. I wasn’t invested in other people’s lives. That’s why I forgot about their situation the moment I left the conversation… I was too wrapped up in my own life to care about anyone else.

Because I was stingy with my prayers, I thought everyone else was stingy with theirs.

It wasn’t until high school when someone finally said “I’ll pray for you… in fact, can I pray for you right now?” AND THEN they kept checking up on me for weeks after that I realized people really DID pray for me. Some people really meant it when they said, “I’ll pray for you.”

And I wanted to be that person.

Not only did I want to be the recipient of other people’s heart-cries to God… but I wanted my heart to cry out on behalf of others. I wanted to be a part of the community. I wanted to care about others as much as, if not more than, how much I wanted someone to care for me.

My age and life has more than doubled since that first time my friend prayed for me right on the spot. And since then, my heart has felt some of the darkest and most intense pains I’ve never wanted to feel. But it was in those times that the intercessing prayer of others became the guide to my only glimmer of hope.

Without people really, truly praying for me & Brian as well as checking in on us, I’m not sure we would have made it.

So with that, I say this: When someone pops up in your head, don’t squander that. In that moment… PRAY. And then let them know you prayed for them.

I also want to invite you to LET others pray for you. The reality is most people wouldn’t offer unless they really wanted to.

So pray… and like 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray continually.” We’re all counting on it.

How can I pray for you this week?

Hello 2012

January 2, 2012 in Church Planting, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Life Experience, Personal Entries, Prayer, Second Chances with 1 Comment

I’ve been quietly watching as my twitter & facebook feeds update with many of my friends talking about their New Year’s Resolutions.

I have none.

Not that I have anything against resolutions or people who have them. I’ve seen many of my friends make resolutions and keep them EVERY YEAR. They’re amazing. But it’s not for me. Not anymore.

Last year, we moved 1,700 miles away from everything we knew. In the last 12 months, we’ve been stretched and worked. And though it was challenging, it was worth it. Every. Minute.

And I’ve learned a lot. A LOT…

… about who God is. That He is exactly who He claims to be. And that He’ll truly provide when you believe you have nothing left.

… about my family. About how courageous they are. About how loving they are. About how forgiving they are. I’ve learned that Brian is my protector, my cheerleader and the center of my every earthly desire. I’ve learned that my life is where he is. And from my two sons, I’ve learned about grace and determination and how to apply that in every day life. My kids are amazing.

… about my friends. I’ve learned how some really are more family than the “family” I was born into and how these friends are part of God’s gift of restoration in my life. If I were Job, these friends would be my second birth family… and I am thankful for second chances.

… about myself. I’m not even close to the same person I was three years ago. And I’m really starting to like myself for who I really am. I’m not saying “I’ve arrived” or that I don’t have stuff to work on. I’m forever a work in progress. But I like myself, maybe even love myself, more than I ever have.

And I’ve learned all this because I didn’t create resolutions I knew I was going to break. Sure, I had some goals… because we all need goals in life… but mostly, I prayed… and I listened. I really, really LISTENED because I wanted to clearly hear that ONE Voice that matters most to me. And when He spoke, and I obeyed… I learned.

2012 is just an extension of 2011. A continued journey for me.

So, no resolutions. No “I promise till I forget”. Just simply… I’m here. And I’m ready.

Carpe Diem. LET’S GO!!!

CoachUs with RefineUs

December 8, 2011 in Adultery, Faith, Forgiveness, Friends, Life Experience, Marriage, Ministry, Second Chances with 2 Comments

Our good friends, Justin & Trisha, at RefineUs.org have created a new program and opportunity for couples who need some guidance in their marital journey. Brian and I are fortunate enough to get to be a part of this new opportunity.

One of the best things Brian and I did post-confession of my affair was seek counseling AND coaching. The biggest mistake we can make is believe we can do all this on our own. So, I urge you… go check THIS out.

PLUS… maybe you could win something awesome in the process.

Help us get the word out!!!

… Because every single one of us is worth fighting for.

Joanne

November 3, 2011 in Faith, Family, Life Experience, POTSC, Prayer, Second Chances with 15 Comments

Brian, me and our two boys went to Phoenix this past few days to attend Brian’s grandfather’s funeral. Grandpa Forest passed away on Friday evening. The services were beautiful (he had a memorial service at the church as well as a military funeral service at the cemetery). I’ll write more about this later because it was one of the most beautiful events I’ve ever observed.

Our 8 hour drive was somewhat uneventful. Some traffic. Stopped for dinner. Lots of potty breaks.

We pulled off the freeway. It’s 9:30pm.Way past the boys’ bedtimes. But 5 minutes till we were home. Good enough. I look down to text Mom & Dad to tell them we were almost home when Brian pulls the car over and exclaims:

“That guy is punching her in the face!”

WHAT??? I look behind me on the sidewalk and I see two dark figures struggling. The next few minutes feel like a whirlwind.

Brian parks the car to the side of the street (no parking on this street, mind you) and gets out.
He runs toward the couple and steps in front of the girl.
Chance unbuckles his seat belt, “I wanna go too!”
Me: “NOPE! Get back in your carseat!”
I call 9-1-1.
“9-1-1 Operator, what is your emergency?”
“There’s a man here hitting a girl on the street.”
I give our location.
He’s no longer hitting her, but he’s yelling.
She’s yelling back.
Brian says to the not-so-gentleman, “You need to just walk away.”
The guy flings a few crude & uneducated words into the air and walks away.
Girl is crying.
I just hold her. She’s shaking.
I don’t know what to say.
Me: “I’m Jenni. What’s your name?”
Her: “Joanne.”
Me: “Joanne, can we take you somewhere?”
She doesn’t have anywhere to go.
It’s freakin’ cold outside.
I crank up the heat in our car and put her in the passenger seat.
Police show up.
Then another pulls up.
Then a police truck pulls up.
Then a firetruck.
WHAT IS GOING ON???
Chance & Pax are in police car & firetruck heaven.
We give our reports to the officers.
They question her. She lies. Denies everything.
My heart drops.

Once the police were out of earshot, I sat with her again.

I asked her, “Why didn’t you tell them the truth?”
She replied, “Lady… I love him. I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“We can get you help.”
“I really appreciate you for taking time, but I’m nobody.”

I grabbed her hand and made her look at me in the eyes…

“Listen carefully, Joanne. This is important! You are NOT a nobody. If you were nobody, we wouldn’t have stopped. We wouldn’t be here right now. You are somebody. You are somebody beautiful and special. I don’t know who told you you weren’t but they are liars. I see you are breath-taking and worth so much more than you know. I KNOW you are somebody… and I hope you believe that about yourself someday too.”

She cried.

“That’s really nice of you. You don’t even know me.”
I tell her, “I know enough.”

I wrote down my phone number for her. And my email address (just in case), handed it to her and said:

“I’m hoping you don’t go back to him. But I know you might. And in case you do, and in case you find yourself in this situation again, I want you to make the situation different because you have the power to do that. This is my number. Call me. I’m just around the corner and I will come get you. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Thank you!”

And then I asked if I could pray for her. For her and him. She said yes… and she cried straight through my prayer.

We’re finally home. Our “5 more minutes” became “an hour later.” We had enough time to explain to our boys what happened. We talked about why we stopped, why Daddy was so brave and why we do the right thing even with people we don’t know and EVEN when it may not be safe to.

Chance had some questions and thoughts… like he always does. Pax wanted to know why we weren’t at the hotel anymore (he was more enamored with the flashing lights on the police cars. I’m ok with that.). We did the best we could with both of their questions.

** Quick note: if you’re a Joanne… read the bolded italics up above again. Tell someone. And if you think you have no one, tell me. Click on the “CONTACT” square on the left column near the top. I WILL get back to you and we’ll find you resources together. YOU are beautiful and made with a purpose. NO ONE gets to lay a hand on you like that. NO ONE.

For the rest of you out there: if you ever see stuff like this going on in public… STEP UP. It IS your business. What if that was YOUR daughter/sister/mother? Do the right thing. For humankind.

My husband is valiant, brave and a hero. He proved that tonight. In front of me and in front of our boys. Not because he was trying to prove something… but because he was going with his gut and doing the right thing. He could have gotten punched. He knew that. He did the right thing anyway. I am so proud of him!

What would you have done?

Dance with a Limp

September 28, 2011 in Faith, Friends, Life Experience, Personal Entries, Second Chances with 9 Comments

When I write it out… I feel like I remember it better.

POTSC: The KKK

September 12, 2011 in Forgiveness, POTSC, Second Chances with 12 Comments

I’m not white. But I clearly remember wishing I was most of my childhood.

My best friend in elementary school was Simone. She was black. Beautiful. I remember holding her hand at recess time and when she let go because we had to get back in line to go to class, I looked down to see if her dark chocolate covered skin had rubbed off onto my paler skin.

It hadn’t.

I was a bit disappointed because her skin was so beautiful.

And that’s the thing. Different is BEAUTIFUL…
… but different freaks the crap out of us because we don’t know how to control it.

I didn’t live through this time. The time when the KKK raged and minorities (mostly blacks) hid. But I clearly remember 9/11 ten years ago… and I’m quite certain I will never forget that.

Different.
Different cultures.
Different thoughts.
Different ideas.
Just different.

We talk about “different” being good… but what if “different” hurts you or someone you love? Would you forgive them? Would you not only forgive them, but actually love them?

Skin color may not rub off… but I will forever remember the imprint Simone left on my heart.

And I’m better off because of her.

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