When I first confessed my affair with some of my friends, my good friend, Tam, sent me to Cindy’s blogsite.
After reading her whole story and seeing it from the other perspective, I mourned. I mourned not only what I had done, but what I had done to the other family. But Cindy gave me hope. Through Cindy’s words, I began to believe that even GOD could restore my situation: my marriage, my family, the other family, my LIFE. And not only RESTORE, but bring everything to an even better place than they once were.
At the time, that was the only hope I could hold on to… and today, it has become my reality.
I can honestly say that without this first little glimpse from Cindy, I wouldn’t know where to keep my eye on the “prize”.
I’d encourage you to read Cindy’s story of grace, TRUE forgiveness, and redemption.
Cindy’s Blog: www.cindybeall.com
Cindy’s Twitter: @cindybeall
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“I don’t think I could ever get over that.”
It’s the phrase I hear from people all the time when I tell them about my journey through infidelity with my husband, Chris. And I guess I can see where they are coming from when I look back on the last 8 ½ years and remember what we’ve overcome:
My pastor husband confesses multiple affairs to me in February, 2002, shares that his “acting out” stems from his 20+ years of addiction to pornography, that he’s fathered a child with one of the women, resignation from our church position at LifeChurch.tv where our story was shared with our entire congregation, struggling financial situation, loss of friendships, loss of dignity, loss of ministry, beginning to walk the road of restoration with vulnerability, humility and a willingness to do whatever it takes to make it work, welcoming a baby into the world, being restored to the staff of LifeChurch.tv 18 months later, sharing our story publicly for the purpose of redemption and hope, inviting a baby and his mother into our world, having a stronger, healthier marriage than we ever imagined, pitching our story to publishers for years, landing a book contract with Harvest House Publishers to share said story of hope that will release on July 11, 2011 and having two hearts that are full of gratitude for all that God has done through this horrifically, wonderful situation.
I didn’t know he was being unfaithful but once he confessed, things started to make sense. While I felt like I was a good wife, I knew there were things that I did to contribute to the whole mess. (And no, I didn’t withhold myself from my husband in any way, if that is what you are thinking.) What I did do is coddle him, protect him, and even enable him in his path of destruction by making no attempts to confront behavior that was just plain “off”. I had no idea at the time that maybe, just maybe I could have done something, said something to him that might have changed things. I guess I’ll always second-guess the whole thing.
We often say that the good news isn’t always that good until you know what the bad news is. The bad was really bad. I will not lie to you. But the good? The good of this story is so remarkable. It has nothing to do with me or my husband, but everything to do with a redeeming, loving, powerful God who called us to trust Him in the midst of our pain so that others, who would walk the road of infidelity, might find hope. A hope and a future (Jer. 29:11).
Remembering all we’ve been through, especially as I’m in the midst of writing my manuscript, does make me stand in awe of the whole thing. In awe of what we endured, what we learned, how we saw the body of Christ respond, but mostly in awe of the redeeming power of our miracle-producing God. Because the simple truth is this: Without Him, we would have been floundering in our pain, bitterness and addiction and probably would have never survived any of it.
My stepson spent five weeks with us this summer and the night before he left, he sat on my lap and cried because he was going to miss us. My heart ached then and the entire trip back the next day to return him to his mother. As we were about to leave him and head back home, we all gave our rounds of hugs. Even his mother and I. We’ve grown to truly love one another through all of this and work really hard to make the life of a little boy full of love.
So when I hear “I don’t think I could ever get over that” or “I don’t think I could ever go through that”, I just smile. Because the truth of the matter is that I never would have imagined it either.
But then God.
Jesus looked at them and said,
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
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Is there anything in your life you THINK you can’t get over?
Love your story. Love your ministry. Love your friendship. Love you.
And God bless YOUR ministry. Love you, my dear friend. See you next week!
I truly just sat here and gaped. I read it out to my husband, and he said “That’s one strong lady right there”.
I agree.
Thank you for sharing your story. If only more people knew that it IS possible to restore a marriage so hurting. That infidelity doesn’t always mean insurmountable. May God’s guiding hand be on your pen as you write
xx
Thank you, Jen!
cindy… i am so thankful for your friendship. you are one seriously beautiful woman!
thank you for taking the time to share your story here. so many need to hear your story. i can’t wait for your book to come out
I’m so thankful for this story as well as the many others that are being shared this week. My situation is so similar with one big difference……my husband has never been fully broken and even relapsed about 5 months ago even while we had been in counseling since the first disclosure 13 months ago. Despite the fact that even now he is not fully broken or repentant and despite him losing his job 13 months ago and not being able to find any solid work for the past 13 months and putting us in a financial tailspin (which is a HUGE deal to me since I’ve always been careful with my finances and have always had some semblance of financial security), I feel God is calling me to the hard work of forgiving him, working on myself, and trying to restore the situation. Of course this won’t be possible unless my husband comes to complete brokenness and it is miserable as I wait, but I feel as though this is where God has me………..not only for the sake of our 6 and 3 year olds (which I will admit, if they weren’t here…..not sure I would have the strength to stay) but also for the sake of me and my husband because God hates divorce for a reason. My husband’s parents have been married multiple times and my husband himself was married once before us. It is a confusing time for me as I thought his submission to Christ before our marriage would keep some of the generational sin from continuing, but I do know that somehow I want it to stop here. I appreciate all the words of encouragement here and wouldn’t mind prayers either if you will pray for my husband to become completely broken and repentant, God to provide jobs to help stabilize our financial situation, and for me to just be able to rest in God’s sufficiency and take this hour by hour and work on me. Blessings to you all!
Sister, I am on my knees praying for you. I want you to know that regardless of the outcome, God is in the redemption business. It’s what He does. Trust Him with your heart and don’t be afraid to be silent and still before him. He’s doing heart surgery on you and He needs your cooporation. He will take your ashes and make them beautiful…one way or another.
Oh Carol, you can make it! I too have a story very similar to Cindy’s and no matter what your husband chooses, you can be well. Not just survive. Not just cope. But complete wellness. I am praying for you today and wishing I could hug you.
Thank you, Cindy and Nikki. It is good to walk the path with others!
How many times Have I asked myself, “What would I have done if I hadn’t found God’s words of hope in Cindy Beall’s story?” Thank you for being willing. Not everyone is. You are a treasure. Love you, sister.
I needed this reminder today: “with God all things are possible”. I am not at the point where I can even start talking about my own story, but this reminder…I will be keeping it with me, safe in my heart. thank you
Keep pressing on, Cori.
your story never ceases to make me shake my head in amazement. YOU never cease to. and i continue to be so challenged by the faith and grace with which you live your life.
thank you for your beautiful heart, friend.
You bless me!
Your love for that innocent little boy, Cindy, is what touches me the deepest. You are such a good person.
Thanks, Chrissy. You are kind.
What an incredible testimony of Gods redemption and His grace which enabled forgiveness & reconciliation . I am floored by this story every time I read it. Thank you Cindy for your transparency. Blessings and favor to you and your family
Thank you for your encouragement, Kelli.
Cindy – I never tire of reading your story and I will be one of the first to buy your book and pray for the day to meet you face to face to have you sign it!
The journey that “my” Chris and I have taken has had similarities as you know – combined with other heartaches other than infedelity. I’m thankful to my Savior that he is 48 days sober and a different man than I have ever known!! Your encoragement has allowed me to continue to trust God for His guidance. No one knows what they would do in any given situation – but the one thing I have learned is to be sensitive to God’s leading and He wil direct. As He is in the middle of restoring my marriage, I continually remember your famous quote “God never wastes a hurt”. I cling to that more than you will ever know and I pray that someday God will use our story to reach others as he is using yours now.
Bless you my friend…I pray for the day to meet you face-to-face…if not in this world, in the next!!
Absolutely! So glad to hear of the miracles happening in your story. Praying for you!
Seriously… YOU ARE A MIRACLE! Not gonna lie… I too have said “how did you do it? I don’t think I could have” BUT
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
I believe this at the core of who I am!!! Your story makes it ever more evident that God can do the impossible! I look forward to the book and learning from all that you have learned through this! I pray one day that God allows us to cross paths! Thank you for not only encouraging me but the many people I love!!
great post, thanks for sharing