Comments on: Do’s & Do Not’s http://www.jenniclayville.com/dos-do-nots/ Fri, 30 Jul 2010 10:23:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: jenni http://www.jenniclayville.com/dos-do-nots/comment-page-1/#comment-6652 jenni Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:29:50 +0000 http://www.jenniclayville.com/?p=3746#comment-6652 i don't know your details, so i won't even pretend like i understand that pain. i'm so sorry, D. the reality, though i'm sure you're not going to like hearing this, is that you... i... WE messed up. he GETS to feel that hurt. it's only been a year since your situation came to light. it takes YEARS to heal from something like this. you can't control HIS reactions... but you can YOURS. all you can do is forgive him EVERY TIME he hurts you and not hold THAT over his head. maybe have him read our story. Brian is open to any communication your husband may want to have with him. sometimes, all it takes is for your husband to know he's not alone or to feel like he has to grieve this alone. i don’t know your details, so i won’t even pretend like i understand that pain. i’m so sorry, D.

the reality, though i’m sure you’re not going to like hearing this, is that you… i… WE messed up. he GETS to feel that hurt. it’s only been a year since your situation came to light. it takes YEARS to heal from something like this.

you can’t control HIS reactions… but you can YOURS. all you can do is forgive him EVERY TIME he hurts you and not hold THAT over his head.

maybe have him read our story. Brian is open to any communication your husband may want to have with him. sometimes, all it takes is for your husband to know he’s not alone or to feel like he has to grieve this alone.

]]> By: D http://www.jenniclayville.com/dos-do-nots/comment-page-1/#comment-6650 D Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:15:39 +0000 http://www.jenniclayville.com/?p=3746#comment-6650 Thanks for praying. We have been in counseling for a year now, and everyone (my husband, the counselor and me) agrees that this anger has crossed over into abuse. He's just not willing to stop. That's the difficult part. How long is long enough? Thanks for praying. We have been in counseling for a year now, and everyone (my husband, the counselor and me) agrees that this anger has crossed over into abuse. He’s just not willing to stop. That’s the difficult part. How long is long enough?

]]> By: jenni http://www.jenniclayville.com/dos-do-nots/comment-page-1/#comment-6647 jenni Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:09:30 +0000 http://www.jenniclayville.com/?p=3746#comment-6647 I'm sorry for what you are experiencing, D. Brian went through a time of feeling anger and saying hurtful things too. That's all part of healing though. I'm not saying he SHOULD say those things to you, but he has to FEEL it all if he's really going to heal. I would really encourage you guys seek out counseling and not do this alone. It's work the investment. We'll be praying for you... that's for sure!!! I’m sorry for what you are experiencing, D. Brian went through a time of feeling anger and saying hurtful things too. That’s all part of healing though.

I’m not saying he SHOULD say those things to you, but he has to FEEL it all if he’s really going to heal. I would really encourage you guys seek out counseling and not do this alone. It’s work the investment.

We’ll be praying for you… that’s for sure!!!

]]> By: D http://www.jenniclayville.com/dos-do-nots/comment-page-1/#comment-6642 D Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:34:38 +0000 http://www.jenniclayville.com/?p=3746#comment-6642 Thank you for sharing your experience. I've been learning so much from reading your story and others (and I'm loving how one blog takes me to another so I can keep adding to the wisdom!). I have spent the past year in a very broken place due to my own emotional affair over the course of a month. I have an entirely new understanding of my sinfulness and God's scandalous grace for me. I can say, that through my pain, He has given me a new joy because now I'm learning how much better my life is when I lay it down before His feet. I get such encouragement from reading the stories of husbands (and wives) who have been able to work toward forgiveness. Unfortunately, my story has become one of emotional and verbal abuse because of the deep anger my husband feels over my actions. I agree with you that the only thing we can change is ourselves, and that has been my project for the past year, as I'm sure it will be for the rest of my life! Praise God for his unending love and forgiveness - and praise God that your story is one of reconciliation. It's a very difficult road when there is no forgiveness at the other end. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’ve been learning so much from reading your story and others (and I’m loving how one blog takes me to another so I can keep adding to the wisdom!). I have spent the past year in a very broken place due to my own emotional affair over the course of a month. I have an entirely new understanding of my sinfulness and God’s scandalous grace for me. I can say, that through my pain, He has given me a new joy because now I’m learning how much better my life is when I lay it down before His feet.
I get such encouragement from reading the stories of husbands (and wives) who have been able to work toward forgiveness. Unfortunately, my story has become one of emotional and verbal abuse because of the deep anger my husband feels over my actions. I agree with you that the only thing we can change is ourselves, and that has been my project for the past year, as I’m sure it will be for the rest of my life! Praise God for his unending love and forgiveness – and praise God that your story is one of reconciliation. It’s a very difficult road when there is no forgiveness at the other end.

]]> By: jenni http://www.jenniclayville.com/dos-do-nots/comment-page-1/#comment-6616 jenni Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:17:26 +0000 http://www.jenniclayville.com/?p=3746#comment-6616 Thanks for forwarding this site. We are hoping by sharing our story, others can avoid the pain we've experienced. So... thank you! The reality is I've failed at all the Do's and Do Not's in the past so I'm learning a whole new lifestyle. It's SO good though! Thanks for forwarding this site. We are hoping by sharing our story, others can avoid the pain we’ve experienced. So… thank you!

The reality is I’ve failed at all the Do’s and Do Not’s in the past so I’m learning a whole new lifestyle. It’s SO good though!

]]> By: jenni http://www.jenniclayville.com/dos-do-nots/comment-page-1/#comment-6615 jenni Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:16:00 +0000 http://www.jenniclayville.com/?p=3746#comment-6615 i love you, baby!!! :) i love you, baby!!! :)

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