Jenni on Skype: jclayville 
Today, I took Crystal down to VooDoo Donuts and Stumptown to get some goodies.
While Crystal and Chance were inside (I’m not huge on donuts…), a homeless man came walking down the street frantically.
He said, “Ma’am… can I have a dollar? I’m really hungry and would like to buy a slice of pizza!”
I said, “I’m sorry… I don’t have a dollar to give you!”
He continued to scramble around the sidewalk asking everyone in earshot and he was continuously getting turned down. He finally slumped down onto the bench right by me.
I leaned over and said, “Are you really hungry? Or are you wanting something else?”
Homeless Guy: “Yes! I just want a slice of pizza! I already have two dollars and just need one more dollar!”
Me: “How about I buy you a donut here?”
HG: “Nah… I really want a piece of pizza!”
Me: “Hmmm… you have a pretty specific palate for being ‘so hungry’, dontcha think, sir?”
HG: *silence*
Me: “Okay… here’s the deal. I’ll buy you a slice!”
HG: “Oh, THANK YOU!” *holds out his hand*
Me: “Um… no… I’ll BUY you a slice. When my friend and son come out of the donut store, will you let me walk with you over to the pizza place? You can keep your two dollars for another day!”
HG: “Uh… ok. Thanks. I’ll be right back!”
Me: “Ok. I’ll be right here.”
5-10 minutes go by.
He never returns.
Moral of the story… Portland has a LOT of special people… and I’m one of them.
Alright, alright… I dunno what the moral of the story is. All I know is this isn’t the first time I’ve been turned down to buy a homeless “needy” person a meal… and it makes me sad. For them. For their circumstances. I’m not saying there aren’t REAL needy and hungry people out there… I’m just saying there’s so many unmotivated, perfectly able, but hurt people out there – I wish I could help more. Many need so much more than just a meal.
Keep a couple granola bars in my backpack for people in Portland just hand them out. Sometimes if you go into Starbucks and buy a coffee and mention you would like to get the guy standing outside begging a cup – they will give you a small coffee for free.
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well, if i could i would buy them all food…but mostly they dont want food, they want money for other things…and that is fine, its their decision, but i wont contribute to that.
But whenever i see people on the street i want to give them all of my money because i know alot of the legit homeless people that dont ask for money have some mental instability issues…and that makes me really sad. and i want to help them….so most of the time Chad doesnt let me carry cash because i will give it to everyone….and then we would be poor and homeless.
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I struggled with this daily when we lived in Denver. Had a guy @ my door asking for money ’cause he was hungry. When I offered him a sandwich, he was really just thirsty, when I offered him water, he really just needed money for the bus, when I offered him 5 bus passes, he just turned and walked away.
Sure don’t know what the answer is, or how to discern real need from real addiction… What really killed me was passing people on the corners with signs (one said, “Why lie, I need a beer”) while my kids are in the back watching. They don’t understand anything more than seeing people in need…
ONE time my oldest son and I took a loaf of bread and made it all into PB&J sandwiches, then put it back in the bag. We took the sandwiches and Bible tracts that look like a million dollar bill and handed them out on Colfax. Cost was small, impact was huge for my son & hopefully people who received bread (but not bread alone:)
Real ?: Why don’t I do this more often. Thanks for the thought provoking post!
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Jenna – unfortunately, I’m rarely downtown and there aren’t many “needy” folks standing outside the Bethany Starbucks per se. But that’s a GREAT idea. I’m gonna pack some granola bars in my purse. If not for someone else.. then for me, right?
Lynse – glad you don’t carry cash, then. Then, there would REALLY be a reason for you not washing your hair on a regular basis.
Erin – GURL!!! What a GREAT idea for me to do with my kiddos. That’s a HUGE lesson!
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I used to carry extra apples or an extra sandwich when I went downtown because I was a little intimidated sometimes when approached…sometimes they took what I offered, sometimes not. It’s okay if they don’t accept what you offer…your intention is genuine. Ask their name. Tell them you hope their day brings them something good. We can’t help everyone, but we can be respectful and treat them like the equals they are.
One day, when my 14-year-old son was a few weeks old I took him the few blocks in his stroller to the grocery store. A homeless man asked to see him. As a new mom a part of me felt nervous but the man “felt” ok. He leaned over the stroller and his dirty face creased into a smile. “Is it a boy or a girl?” he asked. “A boy,” I said. “His name is Max.” “He’s beautiful.” he said. He reached out and stroked Max’s cheek, just for a second. He actually THANKED me for letting him see my baby.
You never know what people need. Pray and hope you can hear what you should do.
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Once I had a guy tell me this long story about needing gas to get somwhere, yadda, yadda. Came to the church during worship rehearsal. (A regular occurance)
“No sweat.” I said. “I’ll meet you at the gas station and fill up your car for you.”
He got mad and cursed me out.
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jenni – ooooo….so i can have a reason if i give all my money away and am homeless? rock on!
JK
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Lyndsey – you’re so right… you never know what people need. Isn’t it amazing how much a baby can give to just about anyone?
Mike – that happens more than i realized.
Lynse – no.
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Btw… Interesting thoughts and ideas are being brought up on my Facebook Page here: http://www.facebook.com/jclayville
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maybe you should put some slices of pizza in your purse? i just finished building a website and shooting a video for a homeless recovery center here in Longview,WA. Their motto is
“We give a hand up, not a hand out.”
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