Jenni Clayville

Today’s Sunday Setlist:

1. Desert Song – Brooke Fraser
2. God of Wonders – Marc Byrd & Steve Hindalong
3. Rain It Down – Carlos Whittaker
4. SPECIAL: Your Hands – JJ Heller
5. My All In All – Dennis Jernigan
6. The Stand – Joel Houston

Mother’s Day is a day of emotions.

For Hallmark, it’s a money maker. Cards talk of Happiness, Pride, Gratefulness, Gladness, Hugs, Thankfulness and all the years of hard work mother’s have put into raising their babies to become amazing adults.

For many others, today marks a day of pain, sorrow, isolation, reluctance, loneliness, sadness, hurt and abandonment.

If you’ve been here awhile you’ll know Brian and I struggled with infertility for half our marriage. With miscarriages outnumbering our current total number of children, Mother’s Day is still a rough day for me. I LOVE my children. I look at every day I have with them as a gift. But I will NEVER forget our babies who are now with Jesus.

Mother’s Day also reminds me of my own non-existent relationship with my own mother. Even before she disowned me due to my biggest mistake ever, I remember struggling on Mother’s Day… wishing for a REAL relationship with my mother. All this to say, “Happy Mother’s Day” isn’t always a happy day.

However… I’m fortunate to say my story doesn’t end here. My mother-in-law, Linda, has not only adopted me into her family as a daughter-in-law, but has invested prayers and unconditional love into my life. In the past year, after I came out about having an affair on her youngest son, she did the opposite of my own blood mother. She dropped her pride, personal agenda and bitterness and chose to embrace me. Even in the simplest choices of this past years’ Birthday and Christmas cards… she’s chose cards that said “To My DAUGHTER” instead of “Daughter-In-Law”.

Today is an ode to my Mother-in-Law… who has shown me what unconditional love means. She’s walked hand-in-hand with me working through life, praying through tears, and celebrating through mile-markers.

I know I’m not the only one with this type of story out there. In our service today, Matt talked about our Dependance on God through life. Rebecca and I sang “Your Hands” in response to the message… for all those who have unanswered prayers, who have pain, are weary, broken, lost, and hurt. We sang that in the midst of all that, we never leave God’s hands.

I’ve decided to include it (direct housemixed recording) to this post:

Your Hands (click to listen).

It’s a beautiful song that speaks volumes to me.

So… what are a few words that would describe how you feel right now?