We’re all willing to give people a second chance. At least the humanitarian in all of us SAY we are.
The truth is we’re willing to give them a second chance, till they’ve done something in our eyes that seems unforgivable. Until they do something we’d NEVER do. Until they hurt us. Then we’re DONE with them.
People of the Second Chance has invited me to join them in their Never Beyond Posters Series. Here’s what they wrote:
We all have people we would and wouldn’t give a second chance — lines drawn and beliefs formed about who we could forgive.
Right?
POTSC is launching the NEVER BEYOND Poster Series: 25 posters representing well known historical, current and fictional characters who are believed to have harmed society. This campaign consists of digital and print posters and the full collection will eventually be displayed as a touring art exhibit.
The campaign draws out themes of forgiveness, grace and what a pathway to a second chance looks like.
So… here’s our first one:
Casey Anthony.
She’s free now. The jury found her not guilty. If you bumped into her at the grocery store, what would you do? What would you say? What if she walked into your church next weekend, would you treat her as if she were not guilty? Would you give her a second chance?
I can tell you that giving Casey Anthony a second chance would not be too popular in my mommy group- we all have toddlers and there is extra rage.
i hear ya. i won’t lie. when i first heard the verdict, i did exclaim, “WHAT???” out loud. but as i settled down… i realized i was judging her without hearing the full story. life is rarely as it seems… and we all need one less judger – ME.
Being from Orlando would seem natural to render her as not worthy of a second chance. But for some unexplained reason (and I watched probably 75% of the trial), I feel she is due a second chance. People do not exit the womb and become habitual liars. They were taught. What else was taught in her upbringing? But I digress. I don’t believe people need excuses to receive a second chance. I believe it is part of who we are as children of God. Consequences, yes. No way around that. But second chance at being forgiven by God and those that love us – most definitely yes. People forget that we all have been given second chances over and over again by our Creator. So why would we not offer it to others?
that’s a great question, ann. we SHOULD offer it to others, but i’m not sure that happens as often as we want to say it does.
Yes, her second chance is no more undeserved than my 1000 chances that God has given me. While her accused crime seems unimaginable to me as a mother, I know that God does not look at sin in degrees, sin separates us from Him period. Consequences, yes. I live with mine, with His grace. Mercy triumphs judgement if we pursue a life that displays Him.
oh girl… preach!
Great question Jenny! I wouldn’t even know what she looks like! Ha! But I know plenty of people I could put on that poster, and if I saw one of them in the grocery store I would head in another direction and bad mouth them under my breath.
Convicted.
ha, benji! i’m glad you’re not wrapped up in the mumbo jumbo of it all!
hang tight and check back often during this series… cuz i think some of the people POTSC have featured on these posters might take you aback. how do i know? cuz i’m in the same boat with you.
convicted with you!
I’m a reporter. You know what I would do — I’d try and give her the third degree, tell me what really happened, not the spin the crazy mainstream media put on this story, and I won’t judge because look, I don’t know what happened so I have an open mind.
What happened to Caylee Anthony, to me as mom of a toddler, is horrifying. But, being who I am, I was surprised by the verdict because everyone I knew on Twitter and Facebook who were following it (I wasn’t, I’ve got a job, a family and all) had seemingly convicted her along with the media before the trial was over.
Once I started reading about it and saw why she wasn’t convicted — all the prosecutors proved to me is Casey Anthony is someone I probably wouldn’t be friends with because of her lifestyle choices — I realized that I couldn’t judge her, first I wasn’t asked to be on the jury, and second, there’s only one divine judge and that sure as heck ain’t me.
I haven’t voiced this opinion anywhere publicly because I have just been hoping to stay out of the fray. And, honestly, I didn’t want to get cyber-stoned for not judging and condemning her.
I guess I’m the forgiving type. Maybe.
love your comment, Kris… and i love ALL this about you!
Yay! Thanks.
I’m looking forward to seeing who else comes up and what kind of discussion it brings.
I wouldn’t bat an eye at giving her a second chance. I also would sit down with her and talk about the things that happened and try to find out what really happened that day. You can give someone a second chance without pretending none of the things that happened were part of their past. There’s a big difference between acknowledging the past and holding it against someone.
I see this from 3 points of view. The first one is those who don’t deserve forgiveness. That would be people like OJ Simpson, Osama Bin Laden, people for whom forgiveness would be a wasted gesture. They’re not people deserving of forgiveness, let alone forgetting, because they never reached a place where they felt what they did was wrong. So forgiveness isn’t even appropriate in that situation because they must be held accountable for what they persisted in believing/doing.
Then there is Casey Anthony. I don’t view Casey Anthony as a forgiveness issue, but more of a public trust issue. She falls into that category where the evidence was overwhelming but she was acquitted. I would let her anywhere near my kids alone. But saying hi to her wouldn’t be any more a decision to me than saying hi to a stranger. It doesn’t cost one anything to offer kindness and the benefit of the doubt.
And then there are those who DO deserve forgiveness, and I think it’s something achieved with time. From a godly perspective…..since God forgives those who ask – I am led to believe that He doesn’t judge the act – - – - but the attitiude behind the act. A person who has realized and atoned for his or her wrong is more likely to be forgiven, more likely to have their wrongs forgotten. To hold someone like that in a state of unforgiveness beyond that point is wrong, and while you can offer the unforgiving a chance to receive you – it’s up to them to come to that same place, but even while they can’t – God has long since forgotten it and will surround you with those who do.
So that’s my two cents!
~C
interesting point of views, chris. so… forgiveness is something one gains by works or beliefs? it sounds like you’re saying forgiveness and trust are the same thing. and forgiveness is only for those who deserve it and are sorry for it?
Aaah ok I see where your questions are coming from..let me clarify. When I said those who don’t deserve forgiveness I meant by the law’s standard. A serial killer should not be forgiven by a court judge and released to go kill again, but even more so when he shows no regret or remorse for his actions.
But whatever Jesus did with Saul, Paul was the result…
So I believe that God forgives quickly yet discernibly, and that’s something people tend to lack when they’re processing deep anger/hurt whatever towards the (forgivee?) – the ability to discern the sincerity of another person’s remorse towards their actions. Thats something only God can discern immediately. And He can. God is always in control, whereas people are vulnerable.
Your question made me think about my statement..I guess no one ‘deserves’ forgiveness from their sins, that’s a gift…but it’s much more of a process for us people. There’s really only two people you can count on to forgive you right off – God, and your parents. And then there’s everybody else.
My forgiveness should be a model for others to follow. If somebody spit in my 7-11 tuna fish sandwich (my favorite sandwich and a HUGE offense in my book) it would take me at least a day to forgive him, and he’d have to refund me for the sandwich or at least mow my lawn. Forgive my untimely humor, this is leading up to the point…
I don’t think that same easygoingness would bode well for terrorists and the like.
Lastly, forgiveness being the same thing as trust? no it is certainly not – tho in the context of forgiveness one hopefully will lead to the next. The dictionary calls forgiveness a noun. I disagree. Forgiveness (to me) is a verb. It is an action – the act of releasing someone from anger or punishing them for a wrongdoing. You and I already know that depending on the offense, there is a period whereby the person offended has to process his or her emotions to get to that point, whereas trust is a thing. Its the belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Trust is the end result of a process.
So to tie it all together – it is trust that is earned by works – and results in belief. Forgiveness is a gift.
thank you for the clarification, chris. this makes much more sense. i love that you’re engaging in this conversation. i agree… forgiveness is VERY MUCH a verb. and yes, it’s a great gift!
thanks jenni for helping us get the word out on this new series…love your heart for second chances and grace…you rock!…m.
thanks, mike! i’m humbled and grateful for the privilege to partner with you guys. thanks for screaming it out there so people like me don’t have to hide anymore.
I followed the trial. The whole story actually, from the beginning. And while I did yell out a very loud “WHAT!” while the verdict was read I had to pull myself away from the social media and literally say to God “This girl is being shown an extreme amount of grace.”
Forgiveness (although she does not owe me an apology (that belongs to those who love her and know her) is not something we give to someone based on their works or their ability to show repentance. If that were the case, there would be a lot of angry, bitter and unforgiving individuals walking around. Wait…there are. Because most people forget that grace and forgiveness go hand in hand. They may very well not deserve it. But let’s be real. Neither do we and yet Christ still died for us.
If Casey were to walk into our service this Sunday I can’t say that I would put her in any type of serving ministry right away. But I would say hi to her and befriend her. Not because that is the “Christian” thing to do, but because my God whom I love and serve requires this of me. Love God, love People..as hard as it may be at times.
you are extremely right. she was shown a great amount of grace. my prayer is that she moves forward extending grace herself… changing… not staying the same.
I remember sitting in church when our preacher told of the death of Jeffrey Dahmer. He also told of his friend that had baptized him, studied with him and introduced him to a God that could save him…. I want to think I would love this woman. That I would ask her to sit with me. I would however, never ask her to babysit – thats just being honest….
that’s valid, jennifer. forgiveness does NOT equal trustworthy. they CAN connect, but don’t always.
I would give her a second chance. While I do believe her actions surrounding the death of her daughter were extremely unusual, its does not automatically make her guilty. Not to mention that media went after her with vengeance and basically declared her guilty before her trial even began. I think sometimes we forget how much of an influence the media has on society today and although Casey Anthony’s actions seemed to point towards her guilt, we are not the one’s responsible for making that decision. It is not our jobs to judge her. She had her trial and was found innocent. Regardless of how this may make you feel, God is the only one who can judge her now.
Your first comment response “i hear ya. i won’t lie. when i first heard the verdict, i did exclaim, “WHAT???” out loud. but as i settled down… i realized i was judging her without hearing the full story” this is exactly where I am with this story.
I think if the jury found her not guilty then there must not have been evidence that she was guilty. The media tends to condemn or pardon people before the court system has a fair chance to do it.
Looking at that poster what bothers me though is that grammatically it should be “to whom would you give a second chance?”
I’m glad to see this… if I had the chance, I would want to hug her and tell her she is still loved. I don’t know whether or not she did it, and I don’t think any of us ever really will know… but that doesn’t change the fact that God loves her and Jesus died for her.
That moves me… because God loves me. He forgave me. He saved me – countless times. Even though I spit on and tore up the Bible. Even though I pretended to worship Satan while the Christians were praying to make them angry. Even though I said that I HATED Him. He loved me, forgave me, and saved me.
Why should I hold that forgiveness back from others? (But I still need help forgiving a family member…)
Wouldn’t give a second Chance she broke almost every commandment there is.She has not pd for what she done to this precious baby and being found NOT GUILTY as the jury said doesn’t mean innocent.The jury in this case because of Bozo Baez,Court jester Mason and the rest of the clowns seen $$$$ signs they did not do their job 91/2 hrs with all the evidence no way and when you walk out of a deliberation room and your sick to your stomach and sneak out of town and say we didn’t say she was innocent you didn’t do what you were suppose to do.They should have stayed went over everything no matter how long it took and walked out head high and said we done our very best.They said they needed to know who how where when etc. they knew who Casey she left with that baby and was responsible no one else seen her after the time she left home how they didn’t need to know no one knows how Lacy Peterson died just that she float up in the bay and Conner too.They have tried people with no body and they didn’t know how then.when June 16th last day seen and it took her mother 31 days to report her gone come on are we so blind to our children being killed that this can happen the only times I seen this happen is when parents have killed their kids not a innocent person.Where in the trunk of her car they found her ping way out in a deserted area and they searched for Caylee’s body there well think since no body I say its where she applied duck tape so no one would bother her while she done it.People did see her and her car there.Why she is a vindictive B**** her words when she told Lee that’s why they can’t see Caylee come on does it take a genius to figure any of this out?Twelve jurors thought they would make a lot of money off a shocking verdict they make our legal system something that can NEVER be trusted for our children along with the circus of the defense team.And for this NO I could never give her a second chance.Have you ever been on a search for a missing child?You pray don’t let me find this baby dead let her be somewhere safe one day.Then as time goes by you know that there’s no way she’s alive and you pray please Lord let us find this baby and give this family some kind of closure.And then there’s this a family that knew she was dead the whole time and let everyone risk their life and in some cases kids to search.And that’s inexcusable.NO second chance unless she pays for all she done 2/3 of America plus all the other countries know there was plenty of evidence more then in Scott Peterson case so don’t tell me there wasn’t enough. Everyone now wants to make BLOOD money off this baby you didn’t make sure she got justice you shouldn’t make money go away disappear no one wants to hear or see any of you that made that courtroom a three ring circus.