I’m not sure what I was expecting in this whole ordeal… but what I got was worth more than any dollar amount.
Upon arrival, I was:
** burning out
** lacking creativity
** boxed in
** spiritually dry
What I expected was some down time, get to spend some time with friends, moments of intimate worship (not planned out or developed by me) and a brilliant speaker to help re-align me and put me back on the Jesus track. And I got that… and SO much more.
In my time at this retreat, I found and got connected to the most healing peace I have ever felt. Nothing was rushed, the Holy Spirit guided… and we followed. Ian Cron (by the way… do yourself a favor and pick up his newest book, Jesus, My Father, The CIA and Me: A Memoir… of Sorts this Christmas holiday. One of the best books I’ve ever read!) was our main speaker, and he guided us through a journey of shalom, allowing us to address and recognize the parts of our lives that aren’t usually safe to mention in some Christian circles. He gave us time to grieve, celebrate, worship & just be.
For the first time in a long time, I felt truly pastored (and that’s coming from me… as a Pastor).
Personally, I found myself forgiving my mother at a whole new level. I forgave myself, the adulteress, at a whole new level, and forgave myself as a mother, the ways I’ve failed my boys already… and the ways I know I’ll fail them in the future. I like to call that “preventative forgiving”. One of the greatest things was getting to do this with others just like me.
It was profound.
Most importantly… I got REAL, HONEST time with God. In the few days I was there, God filled me fuller than I have been in years… maybe ever… and released me to be exactly what He created me to be. Flaws and all.
Upon departure, I was:
** full of creativity
** spiritually drenched in Truth
I’m so thankful I got this opportunity to be even more restored. I’m grateful to get to take another step in my journey towards freedom.
I don’t know if they’ll hold this retreat again next year… but I hope they do. And if they do… I will move mountains to make sure I’m there.
Because in the end… I’m better for it.
What’s something you’d move mountains to do/keep doing?