Jenni Clayville

This is the post I guestblogged over at Lynse’s portion of internet real estate a couple of days ago.  In case you didn’t see it…

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I’ve been running…

Since I was seven years old, I’ve been running.

When my parents divorced… I ran.
When I couldn’t find my significance… I ran.
When I was building my career and life… I ran.

You see, it wasn’t just the bad things I ran from.  I had no idea how to process or deal with life in a healthy way.  I didn’t understand that running from the issue didn’t resolve or change the issue… it only “misplaced” me.  When anything ever happened to me, good OR bad, I ran.

Each time I ran, I just found myself more… lost.

This practice of running quickly trained me to stuff my feelings, hide my secrets and eventually, I was such a good runner, I ran STRAIGHT into another man’s arms.

“BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.”

“Still” scares me.
“Still” means I have to FACE my problems.
“Still” means I have to admit my mistakes.
“Still” means I don’t get to be all jacked-up and hopeless anymore.
“Still” means I NEED grace.

But you know what?…

“Still” also means I get to breathe.
“Still” gave me time to heal my hurts.
“Still” means that healing was just around the corner.
“Still” gave me a second chance.
“Still” means resolution and restoration.

“STILL” was exactly what I needed.

I stopped running and let others catch up with me.  I let others carry me (which to be completely honest was and IS very uncomfortable for me, but needed), and more importantly… when I stopped, I realized I had no reason for running.

I spent 23 years running… non-stop.  I was tired.

Aren’t YOU tired?