Secrets

Brian and I were asked to share our story this coming Sunday at church.

Our story is dirty.
Our story is raw.
Our story is real.
Our story is STILL IN THE PROCESS.

God told us both separately this was where His next step in restoration was for us.
We both listened.
We’re both obeying.
I AM FREAKING OUT!!!

My friend, Crystal, wrote THIS POST today.  And in all honesty… THIS is the life I feel I’m living.

I twittered this yesterday:

Zena Wozniak used to say this and it would crack me up.  However, when you think deeper into it, this “cute” little kids saying holds  a LOT of truth.

I felt (feel?) I needed to be quiet and keep secrets because that’s what my mother taught me as a child, “Don’t ever tell the outside world what’s going on IN the house.”  Don’t get me wrong… some family things SHOULD stay just with the family.  But what this “secrets” thing did was make me feel totally alone. I ended up creating my own beliefs:

I couldn’t trust anyone.
I couldn’t share my deepest hurts with anyone.
I couldn’t admit when I messed up.
No one really cares about me.
No one is safe… not even Jesus.

This type of thinking is not conducive to a marriage. It breaks a marriage down and makes it into something FAR different than what God intended for us.

My story will reveal this.

However… as we grow… we learn new things. Sometimes, the safest thing you CAN do is share with others.  Sometimes the safest place is in the human barricade your community that will surround you.  Your family SHOULD be your safe place, but unfortunately, in this sinful world, more times than not, it turns out the family is NOT the safest place.

Speaking of human barricade, our good friend, David, shared this verse with Brian and me last night.

“You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.” Matthew 23:27

It’s time for some housekeeping. Time to clean out the tomb and get rid of the things that are rotting inside.  What Christ offers is LIFE.  I don’t need a tomb for any secrets.  All my secrets need to be brought to the light for me to experience TRUE freedom in Him.

In my new thinking… this is what I have found:

People CAN be trusted.
I CAN share my deepest hurts with people.
I CAN and NEED to say “I’m sorry”.
People DO care about me.
Brian IS safe… and so is Jesus.

Please pray for Brian and me the next few days leading up to Sunday. Satan is attacking HARD because he knows our obedience to Christ will bring God glory. Literally, the moment we decided we would do as God asked, “it” started to all hit the fan. We’re asking YOU to help be our barricade now. To pray and keep us safe till we’ve followed through with what HE has asked us to accomplish.

We covet your prayers!