Yes… I’m no longer working at Church! at Bethany.

On Monday afternoon, in a meeting room with Brian, me and our church Treasurer… Matt relieved me of my duties as the Creative Arts & Worship Pastor. He stated the reason as: “different visions” which are somewhat irreconcilable. I guess that will work for now.

Our meeting lasted between 10-15 minutes.

Brian and I were not surprised this happened when we went in. We walked into Church! at Bethany two years ago two VERY different people. And in the past two years, we’ve journeyed a road most people don’t ever need to travel and became two different people… BETTER people. Matt and Church! at Bethany were a key piece to my confession and our healing afterwards… and for that, we will forever be grateful.

We will forever love our church.
We will forever love it’s people.
And we will never stop fighting for it’s people.

Our next step? We don’t know yet… but for now, we’re going to enjoy not having ANY responsibility, be poured into by other churches (we are one body, after all) and hang out with our beloved houseguests, David & Diane. We’re going to rest in God’s grace, trusting He already knows our paths.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Where do you put YOUR faith?
Your plans or His?

You start out dreaming it. You start out expecting it.

I’m gonna marry Prince Charming!
We’re gonna build a ministry overseas from the ground up.
It’s gonna bless millions for God’s glory.

We all dream these dreams as kids. But the more time we spend on this earth, the quicker our dreams and expectations change. By the time you’re almost twenty years of age, your dreams may get just a smidge smaller.

I’m gonna get out of this place one day.
I’m gonna make it through this beating.
He can’t hold this gun to my head forever!

It’ll get better by the age of 30, right? But then you stare 30 in the face and your dreams sound like this:

He cheated on me and lied.
Did he EVER love me?
All I know is this ministry and life WITH him. How do I ever transition?

Problem: that’s not a dream. That’s reality.

Sometimes the dreams you dreamt as a child are squashed by the reality of… life. The older you get, the once HUGE window of your dreams becoming reality begins to shrink till it’s barely the size of a mousehole. The simple answer of “Have FAITH… God is in control!” seems trite and a lot like another impossible dream.

You try. You muster up the last bit of faith you have…
… but sometimes, our life here won’t end up with a happy ending.

Meet my two friends: Tammy & Alece.

Those dreams listed above were theirs. Both have overcome the most monstrous and impossible hurdles. One is still in the midst of survival mode at times… but BOTH have looked life’s dirty leftovers in the face and said, “You don’t GET to choose where my dreams end up!”

They’ve changed their dreams. They’ve taken their stories and have matched them up with GOD’S story FOR them. Their stories are no longer about them… they’re about God.

Which leads me to “Plan B” by my friend, Pete Wilson. I was gonna write about the release of his book this week… but it’s so much more than a book now.

I’ve watched my friends at CrossPoint step up this past week when their community in Nashville faced the most trying devastation their area has seen in the past 1000 years. I am watching them actually BE the church to their community instead of just TALKING about it. Like Pete says… “There is the direct correlation between crisis and spiritual transformation” and they are IN crisis right now.

For more information of how to help, CLICK HERE.

It’s our chance… to be like Tammy, Alece & CrossPoint. When Plan A isn’t working out and in the midst of crisis, let’s align ourselves with God’s story… where it’s ALL about Him…

… and less about us.

It’s always a blast having Mark speak because that means Cathi comes with him. Every time they are with us, hilarity ensues.

This weeks Sunday Setlist was:

1. Beautiful One – Tim Hughes
2. Rain It Down – Carlos Whittaker
3. Blessed Be Your Name – Matt Redman
4. Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) – Chris Tomlin Version
5. Amazing Love – Billy Foote
6. Lead Me To The Cross – Brooke Fraser
7. From The Inside Out – Joel Houston

The set fit extremely well into the service. I LOVE when everything fits and connects to make sense.

This week, Mark hit a home run addressing not the prodigal son, but the OTHER son… the son who stayed. In life, you are either one or the other. We all know I’m a Prodigal. I ran away from my home where I had EVERYTHING with my husband and family, squandered everything that mattered and came back with my tail between my legs hoping for table scraps. However, when I “came home”, not only was I greeted with grace and forgiveness from almost everyone, but my inheritance was restored.

We’ve heard so much about THIS son… but what about the other son? The one who stayed and was faithful the whole time?

Matt was gone this week… but he got to share some of his story via video anyway.

Because of the party that’s thrown, for the returning son, the response and heart of the other son is somewhat stashed to the side. Well… Mark addressed this.

You see, the obedient son is just as lost as his returning brother, but in different ways.  He separated himself from his father’s love by works… but his heart was hardened, judgmental and without grace.  While the rebellious son insults his father by leaving him and throwing his inheritance away, the “good” son insults his father and the guests by refusing to join the festivities in his brothers return. Not only does he insult his father, but he disowns his brother by putting himself on a pedestal above his family (passage here).

Two different sons… but they’re exactly the same beneath the surface.  Both sons don’t have a meaningful relationship with their father. However… only ONE son ever humbles himself enough to come back home.

You see… coming home is more than a physical thing. It’s a heart thing. It doesn’t matter if you’re “home” if your heart is somewhere else, whether that’s in works, staying busy, church volunteering, judging others, worshiping your children through allowing them to run your lives, etc. It doesn’t much matter how “good” you are if you can’t find yourself authentically celebrating WITH your family when a prodigal returns.

While Mark was speaking, I couldn’t help but think of who the “good son” is in my life…

… my mother.

It really sucks for her that she’s missing out on the party, but most of all, she’s missing out on seeing and experiencing another side of God’s grace. This made me sad for her. This made me sad for us. But my hope is that she one day will also choose to be a prodigal.

It’s absolutely possible to be the son that never strayed AND the son that chooses a relationship with the Father AND your brother. But you have to make the choice to do so.

Which son are you?

I’m not sure why, but I haven’t been in the “mood” to write Worship Confessionals for the last month. Things have been going well… but I’ve just been really focusing in on my family after church on Sundays and Mondays. Then… like most things… I just forget.

Well… I’m refocused now. So, here goes:

Today went well.

Matt spoke on Impacting our Community and really pushed for small group involvement. It’s great that we go to to church and even participate in serving on Sunday  mornings… but church (in the New Testament) was about community… and that happens when connection happens on a “smaller” level.

I think Matt was worried about offending people, and maybe he did… I hope not… but my take is that it’s always our job to speak God’s truth and the receivers job on how they let it affect them.

I hope more people get involved with small groups and grow in their relationship with Christ because of it.

Our Sunday Setlist:

1. King of Glory – Chris Tomlin
2. Desert Song – Brooke Fraser
3. All Creatures of Our God and King – St. Francis of Assisi
4. Take Me To The Cross – Dave Lubben
5. From The Inside Out – Joel Houston
6. Glory To God Forever – Steve Fee & Vicky Beeching

Highs:

We were set up and ready to go 30 minutes before church started. That’s always a plus to not feel rushed going INTO service. Matt also asked one of the prayer warriors of our church to step it up and lead us in prayer EVERY Sunday morning. This sounds bad, but because we’re a mobile church, sometimes, we skip the team prayer because we are LITERALLY setting up and sound-checking UP TO the minute people start walking in. Prayer becomes an afterthought. This is why Matt put Brian B. in charge of prayer. We’ll be more consistent in something we believe is VITAL to the health and purpose of our services.

During the service, it was obvious many were participating through singing and worshiping. This is my favorite part of being a part of a church. Corporate worship. Listening to everyone lift up their voices in declaration of who God is. THIS… is something I will NEVER grow tired of.

Lows:

I don’t feel as if I chose the best response song (#4 – Take Me To The Cross”) post sermon. Usually the connection between the sermon and the song tie in a lot better. I’m not saying that it didn’t connect at all because it did, but I think a better response song would have been Remedy by David Crowder. Also, I felt distracted this morning. Not by anything in particular… just didn’t feel 100%.

Overall… I felt today went pretty well though.

Here are some questions I have for you:

How was YOUR Sunday?
Did you feel like you connected to God?
Are you a part of a small group? Do you like it?

Ready? GO!

Our SUNDAY SETLIST was:

1. Joy To The World – Third Day
2. Comfort & Joy – LifeChurch Version
3. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel – LifeChurch Version
4. God With Us – MercyMe
5. Carol Medley (Away In A Manger, O Little Town, Silent Night)
6. The First Noel – Ali Matthews Version
7. Emmanuel (Hallowed Manger Ground) – Chris Tomlin

I LOVED this set! It was so fun to play and sing with such a seriously talented band.

Our worship band: Brent was on keys and lead vocals. Tam was on vocals. Jim Durham was on electric 1. Jim’s 13 year-old daughter, Missy, was on bass. Al Dinardi was on electric guitar 2. Sandy Ficca was our rockout drummer… and I was on acoustic guitar and vocals.

Brent ended up recording the fourth/last service, which in all honesty, was our weakest service. I think by then, we were all just pretty tired and our voices had HAD it.  Whichever way… I’ll still post a couple of recordings for y’all.

My favorite song this weekend was our second song, Comfort and Joy (click on the link to hear our live recording) which is LifeChurch’s rocked out version of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”. It made me want to dance.

Then… they let me sing Ali Matthews version of The First Noel (click on the link to hear) for communion.

I really love Christmas carols.

What’s your FAVORITE Christmas carol?

I’m not sure why… But I think it may be because I’m no longer hiding in my secrets and I’m truly experiencing the love and grace from a church body. It’s pretty awesome.

This morning, Matt talked about community… our church. How we’re like fish, living in a fishbowl… safe in our church walls, but GOD has created us to be “fish”. We’re not supposed to live in an aquarium, all pretty, perfect, trapped and bound for death. We should be in the river… LIVING. Yes, it may be more dangerous… we may get hurt out there… but that’s where God intended us to be. The LIGHT in the DARKNESS.

What an amazing opportunity and privilege if we chose to live the way we were purposed!

Our Sunday Setlist this morning was:

1. Beautiful One – Tim Hughes
2. Evermore – Joel Houston
3. Enough – Chris Tomlin
4. Cry In My Heart – Starfield
5. Healer – Mike Gugliamucci
6. Mighty To Save – Reuben Morgan

Highlights: We set up in less than an hour which gave me some time to really chat with people before the service.  And it’s pretty amazing how the conversations now are “below surface” conversations.  I LOVE THAT!!!  We’re talking about REAL things.  I didn’t sleep very well last night (nothing new there) so I was VERY pleased that my voice didn’t give out on me.

Lowlights: Our family has been fighting a bug.  It came home with Chance from school and we’re all trying not to get sick… but alas… we are ALL sick.  Please pray for our family’s health… and that we don’t get the swine flu because that would be lamesauce.

How was YOUR Sunday?