| Tag Archive | Forgiveness

Tag Archive - Forgiveness

POTSC: Mike Tyson

August 22, 2011 in Adultery, Faith, Forgiveness, POTSC with 12 Comments

What’s the first thought that comes to your mind when you hear MIKE TYSON’S name?

Heavyweight Boxer?
Convicted Rapist?
Woman Beater?
Ear Biter?
Thug?
Cheater?
Tattoo’d Freak?

Here’s a man I remember growing up knowing as the “Greatest Heavyweight of all time”. Tyson was a household name. We all watched him rise to glory… and quickly fall out of it. But doesn’t everyone who rises to glory eventually fall? Isn’t it what we expect now?

What’s interesting is recently, we’ve seen him speak pretty boldly, transparently and authentically about his past addictions. He’s not hidden from his past. He actually seems like he’s stepped up, stepped out and choosing to play a more responsible role as a citizen. And some seem to even accept him back into “our” society by supporting him in his special appearances in multiple movies and “functions”…

But how many of us are still writing him off as a loser. A freak. A cheater.

Does Mike Tyson deserve a second chance?
Is he a People of the Second Chance?

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POTSC: Never Beyond Poster Series

August 15, 2011 in Faith, Forgiveness, Ministry, POTSC, Second Chances with 28 Comments

We’re all willing to give people a second chance. At least the humanitarian in all of us SAY we are.

The truth is we’re willing to give them a second chance, till they’ve done something in our eyes that seems unforgivable. Until they do something we’d NEVER do. Until they hurt us. Then we’re DONE with them.

People of the Second Chance has invited me to join them in their Never Beyond Posters Series. Here’s what they wrote:

We all have people we would and wouldn’t give a second chance — lines drawn and beliefs formed about who we could forgive.

Right?

POTSC is launching the NEVER BEYOND Poster Series: 25 posters representing well known historical, current and fictional characters who are believed to have harmed society. This campaign consists of digital and print posters and the full collection will eventually be displayed as a touring art exhibit.

The campaign draws out themes of forgiveness, grace and what a pathway to a second chance looks like.

So… here’s our first one:

Casey Anthony.

She’s free now. The jury found her not guilty. If you bumped into her at the grocery store, what would you do? What would you say? What if she walked into your church next weekend, would you treat her as if she were not guilty? Would you give her a second chance?

Why or why not?

Unfaithful: Our Story Tonight

July 18, 2011 in Adultery, Faith, Life Experience, Television with 10 Comments

I just saw some previews for our episode tonight.

You can view one of our online exclusives:

And the tv trailers:
Here’s one…

And the other one that we share with Audrey & Bob…

Just watching myself in these previews already makes me uncomfortable in my own skin. But I’m trusting God to do what He wants with our story.

OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network), channel 256, 9/8pm central.

Here we go!

Second Chances: 10 Years

May 27, 2011 in Adultery, Faith, Life Experience, Marriage with 18 Comments

Today is Brian and my 10 year anniversary. A DECADE! A decade’s worth of second chances. Second chances to the second chances to the second chances.

And as beautiful as today is, it will always trigger bittersweet feelings.

I think the most difficult part of receiving a second chance is I’m still in the same skin that chose an affair 5 years ago. When I look at myself in the mirror, it’s the same face that lied to my husband. And unless I get some drastic plastic surgery soon, that fact won’t change.

But the truth is I AM different. My spirit is different. I know different. And most importantly… my heart is different.

Without my biggest failure and the second chance I received after it, I wouldn’t know how to extend grace today JUST like I didn’t know how to extend it back then. Like my good friend, Laura Lasky, has said to me many times: “You can NOT give what you don’t know how to receive.”

With that… I thought I’d re-post our renewal vows from last year.

Brian’s:

You have been part of my greatest moments of joy and my deepest pain.   I am grateful for the experience of both because of who I have become.  Today I am a stronger, better person because you are part of my life.  I am so thankful that our story has turned out better than so many.  I am so eager to see where our journey will take us over the next 30 years.  My prayer is that God would use our story to help hundreds of other people find their way back to God and restore broken relationships.

I intend to grow old, bald, wrinkly and wobbly with you (Lucky for you, I’ve pretty much already accomplished that).  I will strive to put your needs above my own.  I will cherish the busy, chaotic, stressful and challenging times with you by my side.  I will relish the times of relaxation, solitude, and pleasure with you.  I will always share my deepest fears and grandest dreams with you.  When I feel like shutting you out, I will embrace you and trust you with my heart.

When you are wounded, I will pick you up.  When you are joyful I will celebrate with you.  When you are scared I will embrace you.  When you feel lonely, I will hold you.  When you are threatened I will protect you.

I will do my best to seek God first in my life so I can be the spiritual leader you deserve. I will love you and only you.  I will always choose you!

Mine:

Well… obviously the first time I did this, it didn’t take so well. In fact, I don’t even remember what I said the first time around because I was so nervous and distracted from Renee losing the ring.

However, that was 9 years ago… and I’ve learned a lot since then. I still hate that it took the failure of our original marriage to realize my misguided understanding of what it takes to make our marriage a success… but I’m humbled and grateful for this second chance most couples don’t get to see OR experience.

So… for the next 99 years:
Instead of waiting for you to pick up your socks, I’ll just do it. I’m closer to the ground anyway.
Instead of kicking you when you’re snoring, I’ll just put earplugs in.
Instead of assuming what you didn’t say, I’ll ask you about your thoughts.
Instead of reading INTO what you DID say, I’ll take you for face value.
Instead of looking for what’s wrong, I’ll seek out all that’s right.
Instead of shouting to be heard, I’ll stop and listen.
Instead of waiting to be pursued, I’ll intentionally pursue you
Instead of justifying my wrongs, I’ll humbly say “I’m Sorry!”
Instead of looking to another man to determine my value, I’ll choose to see YOUR value.

Brian, now that I finally know what it means to love, I vow to not only love and respect you with all that God has created me with… but I promise to seek out God’s desires for me… for US, often and consistently. I promise to love our children unconditionally and raise them to love God and love others. I will teach them how to extend grace and compassion by example… by the example God revealed to me through you in my biggest failings.

I vow to see you and only YOU till I can’t see anymore. I promise to listen carefully for God’s promptings till my future hearing aids are merely ear jewelry. I promise to love you till I breathe my last breath. And I vow to never forget the second chance God gave me… gave us… to prove that His REDEMPTION is real in a broken and hurting world. And finally, I promise to remember God’s desire and PURPOSE for us.

He chose us for one word and action: Restoration.

YOU TOO ARE WORTH A SECOND CHANCE. Always and forever worth it.

You just need to extend your hand to receive it.

Second Chances: Mike Foster

May 25, 2011 in Faith, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Ministry with 14 Comments

My friend, Mike Foster (along with Jud Wilhite) co-founded the People of the Second Chance movement. He’s helped manifest a safe and grace-filled place for imperfect people. A place where messed up people don’t have to feel as messed up. A place where the unaccepted can feel loved. A place where the sinner can experience grace… sometimes for the first time ever.

A place where someone like me can thrive.

POTSC allows people like me an opportunity to have God re-reveal His purpose in me. We all NEED a second chance. We all need to GIVE a second chance. And we need to BE the second chance.

I’m humbled that I get to call Mike a real friend. And one day, I can only hope that I extend the same amount of grace that I’ve been been shown in what Mike talks about.

POTSC’s Blog: www.potsc.com
Mike’s Twitter: @mikefoster

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We all have set opinions and beliefs about grace and second chances. If you’re like me often culture, church, upbringing, friends and my own prejudices have crafted these beliefs.

One of the most incredible things that I’m personally discovering is that grace is greater than I could ever of imagined. No seriously! It is wilder, radical and mind blowing than most of us think it is. I truly believe all of us are just beginning to touch the tip of the grace iceberg in our lives.

So what has caused this new thinking? Well…I’ve listened to the crazy awesome stories coming through People of the Second Chance. I have had the opportunity to connect firsthand with people and see how grace has revolutionized their lives. I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone and experimenting more with giving grace.

These things all add up to a much needed recalibration of my point of view. If I had believed in the power of a second chance before, I REALLY believe in its power now. So here are a few simple things I’ve discovered on this recent journey.

1. My ideas about grace are too small. Really waaaaaaayyyy too small. My doubts and fears still cause me to dramatically limit the power of giving a second chance. Grace has been boxed up and bubble wrapped for way too long. It is time for all of us to have more courage and take more risks in exploring grace.

2. A second chance is the greatest gift we can give someone. According to psychologists and researchers, one of the deepest core needs of a human being is a place to belong. Sex, food, water AND belongingness. When we give a second chance we meet this critical need. Judgment pushes people away but grace brings someone close.

3. Real grace makes me seriously uncomfortable. If it is 100%-pure-authentic- no-holds-bar-grace it should knock me out of my comfort zone and cause some serious tension. If it doesn’t do this then it’s probably something different than grace. Radical grace should leave me with questions and confusion…and that’s OK.

4. Grace is a lifestyle, not an idea. We can debate, discuss and preach all we want about second chances but that won’t change a thing. Grace must be unleashed in our day-to-day life. Our real beliefs about grace are carried out in our actions. For the guy who cuts you off in traffic. For the friend that stabbed you in the back. For the lady at work who drives you nuts. That is where second chance living is demonstrated and proved. Grace is a lifestyle choice and must deeply impact how we live and interact with the world.

WHAT IS PEOPLE OF THE SECOND CHANCE? from PEOPLE OF THE SECOND CHANCE on Vimeo.

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Thoughts?

Second Chances: Justin Davis

May 23, 2011 in Adultery, Faith, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Marriage, Ministry with 14 Comments

I just got to spend a week with my good friends Justin and Trish Davis while I was in Nashville. Though our friendship has been consistent over the last two years (thanks to modern day technology), nothing is like a giant bear hug and a REAL conversation over coffee.

For those of you who don’t know, The Davis’ story is a lot like Brian and mine… but flip flopped. You can read more about their journey on their blog (which I listed below).

Justin and Trish are not strangers here at JenniClayville.com. They have guest posted before and I’m sure this won’t be the last time either. We are not only thankful for them as friends, but we are beyond grateful that they introduced us to the ultimate second chance in our marriage.

So, Justin is gonna kick off this week’s Second Chances Series.

Justin’s Blog: www.refineus.org
Justin’s Twitter: @justindavis33

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I’ve always been a fan of second chances. I’ve needed about 1000 second chances through out my lifetime. I am, in a sense, the king of second chances. A famous phrase for me growing up was “Just give me one more chance.”

• The first time I came home late and got grounded, I pleaded with my parents, “Give me one more chance.”
• The first time I got pulled over when I was sixteen years old and knew I was going to get a ticket, I begged the officer, “Please give me one more chance.”
• The time I overslept in college and missed a mid-term exam, I remember crying to my professor, “Please Mr. Clymer, give me one more chance.”
• When I got caught drinking at a bar my sophomore year of college, I sat in the dean of student’s office and bargained with him, “If you will just give me one more chance.”
• When I failed a class and was on the verge of not being academically eligible to play basketball, I found myself at the mercy of the registrar “Please, give me one more chance.”

People would always say things to me like “Justin, you have so much potential.” “Justin, if you would just make wiser choices, you could one day reach your potential.” “Justin, when you mature and grow into your giftedness, the potential that you have is so great.”

People who take second chances for granted don’t need to grow into their giftedness; they need to grow into their character. It doesn’t matter how many second chances we are given if we don’t do something with it.

The thing about second chances is that they aren’t guaranteed. You can run out of second chances. I thought I had run out of second chances when my affair happened in 2005. There was nowhere left to run. There was no more potential to try to reach.

What I’ve come to understand is that it isn’t how many chances you are given, it is what you learn from the failure that matters. When Trisha extended an underserved second chance, there was no way I was blowing it. There is no doubt that grace is unmerited favor, but how we choose to live after receiving grace makes all the difference in the world.

What could your marriage be if you valued second chances? Not expected them, but cherished them. What could your relationship with God be if you were grateful for second chances? Not took them for granted, but were committed to making the most out of them.

Second chances can change nothing.
But second chances can change everything.