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Tag Archive - God

Things For Restoration

January 19, 2010 in Adultery, Faith, Friends, Life Experience, Marriage, Ministry with 6 Comments

As most of you know, Justin & Trish are good friends of ours. They played a HUGE part in the restoration of Brian and my marriage after my affair.

Today… Justin wrote an amazing post about the steps you NEED to take if you truly want restoration in your marriage and in your life.

Totally surrender and repent before God
Cut all ties with the person whom you have had the affair
Submit every minute of your life to a trusted friend
Get to a Christian counselor that specializes in marriage restoration
Come clean early and often as you try to rebuild trust
Be willing to do whatever it takes to restore your marriage

I posted his points here but you REALLY need to read everything in between for the full picture. CLICK HERE to read all of it.

With that said… I’d just like to add this:

It’s about MORE than just your marriage (and if you’re not married… your FUTURE marriage)… it’s about your relationship with GOD. When I was choosing my affair, I was not only giving my husband and family my sloppy seconds… but giving God even less. That’s not His desire for us.

God desires for us to be completely united with Him first and foremost.

He wants to bless us with the most amazing gifts.
He wants to break our hearts with the things that break His.
He wants us to see compassion through His eyes.
He wants us to feel community the way He does with Jesus and the Spirit.
He wants us to experience life the way He intended us to… without barriers.

When we choose something/someone else before Him… we don’t get to live within our true potential or purpose. We lose ourselves… and THAT… is devastating.

Go… Read… Soak it in…
… CHANGE.

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Update: For Trisha’s response… CLICK HERE!

Alece Ronzino: I’m Exhaustulated

November 13, 2009 in Faith, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Ministry, Missions, Weblogs with 37 Comments

Meet Alece.

She’s real. She’s raw. She’s AH-MAZ-ING!

Alece’s story humbles me. Her mission inspires me. The example her life exudes pushes me to be more gracious, loving and prayerful towards others… even the ones who are not kind to me.

Thank you, Alece, for revealing your heart here today. I’m so humbled to call you “friend”.

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I was reading along in Isaiah when I tripped over this phrase: “You have not wearied yourselves for Me, O Israel.” I brushed off my knees and copped a squat right there. I knew exactly what God was talking about. And I knew I was just as guilty as Israel was.

After over eleven years in full-time ministry, I know full-well what it’s like to weary myself. I’ve put in the ridiculously long hours. I’ve juggled an impossible schedule. I’ve reached the point of burnout and lived to tell about it.

And as I fall in bed exhausted at the end of a long day week month year decade, my heart sighs, “I’m weary…”

If I listen closely enough, I hear God’s voice, ever loving and gentle. “But you haven’t wearied yourself for Me.”

Without even realizing it, I’ve been wearing my exhaustion like a badge of honor. My demanding schedule and ever-growing to do lists became my identity. As if fatigue is the mark of an accomplished missionary.

If I’m most honest, I wearied myself because I thought my value lay in my productivity. I mistook accomplishments for significance. I bought into the lie that busyness is the telltale sign of successful leadership.

But while I was getting stuff done, and even—by God’s grace—impacting lives, I was ultimately toiling for the wrong reasons.

The work of discipling young leaders in Africa is worth every ounce of my effort and energy. I want to tire myself out doing what I love. But I need to keep the motives of my heart in check. Wearying myself for some self-serving purpose is just plain tiring.

I want to weary myself for Him.

Then and only then am I strengthened.

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What do you weary yourself over?

Abandoned

October 28, 2009 in Faith, Friends, Life Experience, Ministry with 39 Comments

Loneliness hits at the strangest time.

Yesterday, I got to hang out with Amber Isborn because our kids had a playdate during the day, then in the evening, I went to the Blazer’s opening game with Cindy Payne. The night before, I got to have a spa date with Angela Lawton. I actually don’t ever go out two nights in a row like this and rarely even go out twice in a week.

You see, I prayed for girlfriends. I have mourned the loss of many friends so now I’m not only investing in the girlfriends I already have, but I’m making new ones. God is blessing me. It’s like I have girlfriends coming out of the woodworks.

So, why do I feel so lonely?

This is what I discovered: I’m mourning the loss of friends from my past 8 years.

Some of my closest friends I bonded with most were from my old church. We worked together, we spent every day together, we shared life together… FRIENDS. But, when I left that church, it felt as if I was ex-communicated immediately by many. It was almost as if I was no longer someone they needed to invest time in because I no longer had anything to offer them. I could no longer help meet their need, so the “friendship” was over too. I’m not saying this is what REALLY happened… I’m just saying this is how it FELT to me.

Then, I came out with my secret. I know “they” know. ”They”… the one’s I didn’t actually tell face-to-face because the rumor mill beat me to it… but save TWO friends, “they” never called.

Don’t get me wrong. I am certain I still have many friends from that church. In fact, some have walked me through the last eight months and prayed us through our hardest times. I will FOREVER be grateful for them. What I am merely saying is this: I am overwhelmingly sad to have spent so many years serving with people who no longer nod at my existence. Sad.

So… here are my thoughts:

I am someone who most recognize.
I was on the platform.
I was on staff… oversaw a ministry.
I was usually surrounded by people, friends, acquaintances.
I’m outgoing and PLUGGED into the church.
I’m pretty foundationally secure in my faith.

However… when my world fell apart, I felt abandoned… outcasted… gossiped about… forgotten by the church I spent 8 years at.

WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE?

What about the unrecognized?
The quiet church-goer?
The silent servant volunteer?
The lonely “un-friendable”?
The reserved and unplugged?
The foundationally insecure… the roamer?

What about them?

This is not about me. This isn’t about “that” church. This is about the UNchurched… the hurting… the alone… the SINNER… like you and me. This is about them. This is about what WE are doing for THEM.

⁴⁰“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ ⁴¹“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴²For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ ⁴⁴“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ ⁴⁵“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

~ Matthew 25:40-45

Come on, Church… it’s time to step up when the times get tough.

So, what are YOU gonna do?

God of Vengeance

October 5, 2009 in Books, Faith, LifeGroup Online, Worship with 1 Comment

For Lifegroup Online, we’re reading “The Ragamuffin Gospel” by Brennan Manning.

This stuck out:

The God of the legalistic Christian, on the other hand, is often unpredictable, erratic, and capable of all manner of prejudices. When we view God this way, we feel compelled to engage in some sort of magic to appease Him. Sunday worship becomes a superstitious insurance policy against His whims. This God expects people to be perfect and to be in perpetual control of their feelings and thoughts. When broken people with this concept of God fail — as inevitably they must — they usually expect punishment. So, they persevere in religious practices as they struggle to maintain a hollow image of a perfect self. The struggle itself is exhausting. The legalists can never live up to the expectations they project on God.

~~”Magnificent Monotony” (Chapter 2)

Hmmm…

Worship Confessional – 09.20.09 – “SIN”

September 20, 2009 in Church Planting, Faith, Family, Jenni, Marriage, Ministry, Personal Entries, Worship, Worship Confessional with 37 Comments

Today was a BIG day for us.

We had been asking for prayer because we, Brian and I, were sharing our story.

The Sunday Setlist today was:

Not To Us – Chris Tomlin
O Praise Him – David Crowder
O Worship The King – Chris Tomlin Version
Mighty To Save – Reuben Morgan (Response)

As you can see, we only had three songs (the 4th was in video form at the very end of the service)… because the sermon and our story took the majority of the service. I usually write about our sets and how the musical/technical portion of our services went in these Worship Confessionals, but today, it’s just MY CONFESSIONAL.

I want to encourage you guys to listen to the complete podcast of the sermon HERE on the Church at Bethany website , but we thought we would post JUST our portion here. It’s about 20 minutes, so get a drink and get comfortable:

Click here to listen to Our Story.

Though the majority of our support encouraged us and helped propel us forward to share our story, a couple of people tried to talk us out of it. We know that they were mostly worried for us and were trying to protect us, but in hindsight, we can see that it was Satan using them to try to keep us from sharing what he would have rather kept trapped in the dark. We say “in hindsight” because today was INCREDIBLY powerful. In fact, barely any of it was about us.

Yes, we shared OUR story of sin, forgiveness, hope and redemption… but what it really did, was allow people to realize the freedom they had in releasing their demons.

We discovered OUR story was not only OUR story, but so many others. We had a few couples tell us we basically just told THEIR story. I never thought God would use OUR story to help release others into the light… into HIS Truth.

Brian and I are SO glad we obeyed. We put our fear to the side, ignoring Satan’s whispers to hide. This morning was about SO much more than us.

God is in the business of restoration and healing.

Please continue to pray for our healing… and all those who stepped out of the darkness today. This is our “Once upon a time…”

Humbly in the Process of Restoration,

Jenni

P.S. Yes… I still have my job as the Worship Pastor at Church at Bethany. They have graciously been walking Brian and me through our healing process.

Worship Confessional (LGO) – 02.18.09

February 18, 2009 in Books, Friends, LifeGroup Online, Ministry, Music, Worship, Worship Confessional with 2 Comments

Tonight… we went INTERNATIONAL with David & Diane joining us from Sydney, Australia!

It’s so weird. This is the fourth time going through The Search For Significance by Robert McGee and I can’t believe how surprised I am that more things are getting stirred up in my soul.

I got a chance to compare some of my answers this time around to past answers and I have to say that a lot has changed. Maybe it’s just time of life… maybe I’m a totally different person. I’m still discovering that, I guess.

Tonight’s set was:

You’ll Come – Brooke Fraser
Hosanna – Brooke Fraser
Revelation Song – Jennie Riddle
From the Inside Out – Joel Houston

I picked this song set to reflect the glory of God and my desire to worship Him in spite of my short comings.

The reality of God still choosing me and loving me DESPITE how sinful and deceitful my heart is still blows my mind. Even more, God determining my TRUE self-worth according to His Truth, that I am His beloved, is something I will never fully grasp. But, man, am I grateful.