Today is Brian and my 10 year anniversary. A DECADE! A decade’s worth of second chances. Second chances to the second chances to the second chances.
And as beautiful as today is, it will always trigger bittersweet feelings.
I think the most difficult part of receiving a second chance is I’m still in the same skin that chose an affair 5 years ago. When I look at myself in the mirror, it’s the same face that lied to my husband. And unless I get some drastic plastic surgery soon, that fact won’t change.
But the truth is I AM different. My spirit is different. I know different. And most importantly… my heart is different.
Without my biggest failure and the second chance I received after it, I wouldn’t know how to extend grace today JUST like I didn’t know how to extend it back then. Like my good friend, Laura Lasky, has said to me many times: “You can NOT give what you don’t know how to receive.”
With that… I thought I’d re-post our renewal vows from last year.
Brian’s:
You have been part of my greatest moments of joy and my deepest pain. I am grateful for the experience of both because of who I have become. Today I am a stronger, better person because you are part of my life. I am so thankful that our story has turned out better than so many. I am so eager to see where our journey will take us over the next 30 years. My prayer is that God would use our story to help hundreds of other people find their way back to God and restore broken relationships.
I intend to grow old, bald, wrinkly and wobbly with you (Lucky for you, I’ve pretty much already accomplished that). I will strive to put your needs above my own. I will cherish the busy, chaotic, stressful and challenging times with you by my side. I will relish the times of relaxation, solitude, and pleasure with you. I will always share my deepest fears and grandest dreams with you. When I feel like shutting you out, I will embrace you and trust you with my heart.
When you are wounded, I will pick you up. When you are joyful I will celebrate with you. When you are scared I will embrace you. When you feel lonely, I will hold you. When you are threatened I will protect you.
I will do my best to seek God first in my life so I can be the spiritual leader you deserve. I will love you and only you. I will always choose you!
Mine:
Well… obviously the first time I did this, it didn’t take so well. In fact, I don’t even remember what I said the first time around because I was so nervous and distracted from Renee losing the ring.
However, that was 9 years ago… and I’ve learned a lot since then. I still hate that it took the failure of our original marriage to realize my misguided understanding of what it takes to make our marriage a success… but I’m humbled and grateful for this second chance most couples don’t get to see OR experience.
So… for the next 99 years:
Instead of waiting for you to pick up your socks, I’ll just do it. I’m closer to the ground anyway.
Instead of kicking you when you’re snoring, I’ll just put earplugs in.
Instead of assuming what you didn’t say, I’ll ask you about your thoughts.
Instead of reading INTO what you DID say, I’ll take you for face value.
Instead of looking for what’s wrong, I’ll seek out all that’s right.
Instead of shouting to be heard, I’ll stop and listen.
Instead of waiting to be pursued, I’ll intentionally pursue you
Instead of justifying my wrongs, I’ll humbly say “I’m Sorry!”
Instead of looking to another man to determine my value, I’ll choose to see YOUR value.Brian, now that I finally know what it means to love, I vow to not only love and respect you with all that God has created me with… but I promise to seek out God’s desires for me… for US, often and consistently. I promise to love our children unconditionally and raise them to love God and love others. I will teach them how to extend grace and compassion by example… by the example God revealed to me through you in my biggest failings.
I vow to see you and only YOU till I can’t see anymore. I promise to listen carefully for God’s promptings till my future hearing aids are merely ear jewelry. I promise to love you till I breathe my last breath. And I vow to never forget the second chance God gave me… gave us… to prove that His REDEMPTION is real in a broken and hurting world. And finally, I promise to remember God’s desire and PURPOSE for us.
He chose us for one word and action: Restoration.
YOU TOO ARE WORTH A SECOND CHANCE. Always and forever worth it.
You just need to extend your hand to receive it.




This week is Brian and my anniversary week.




























