Prodigal Son – Part Two
Our Sunday Setlist was:
- Glory to God – Steve Fee & Vicky Beeching
- O Worship The King – Chris Tomlin Version
- King of Glory – Chris Tomlin
- Hallelujah – Tenth Avenue North (Response)
- We Will Worship You – Carlos Whittaker, Jason Ingram & Mia Fieldes
- Mighty To Save – Reuben Morgan
Despite one new song (Carlos’) and another “newer” song, it felt as though people were really singing out, worshiping together and praising the One who made this all to be. I was also extremely pleased with how the music pieces fit in well with the sermon.
Today, at Church at Bethany, we continued Part Two of our series, “Finding Your Way Back To God” (CLICK HERE for last weeks’ story). Matt’s talk today was titled, “This Isn’t What I Want” and it featured my good friend, Mikey, who finally got to share her story with our church.
Mikey has always been the “good girl” so when her life started to unravel, to her own doing, she was unequipped to handle it.
She ran.
She hid.
She ignored it.
Then… she found her place of safety. Watch the first part of her story below:
Mikey is in a COMPLETELY different place in her life now. Her realization that she DIDN’T have to live a life she didn’t want overruled the lies that told her that she was doomed to the consequences of her choices. Truth spoke loud and clear. She lives not only with integrity and strong conviction now, but she lives in search of REAL LIFE accountability. She repented of her mistakes, turned 180* from them and willingly chose to start over… which is more difficult to do than to just SAY to do.
I’m SO proud of her for sharing her story so boldly. I know it was one of the scariest things she’s ever done… but she did it anyway, in hopes that she can help even ONE person find their way back to God.
So how about you?
What in YOUR life do you NOT WANT?
And when are YOU gonna start over?
Prodigal Son – Part One
Matt wrote about the series we’re going through this next month.
As most of you know… I, too, am one who’s found my way back to God… and am constantly finding my way back to God.
Everyone is looking for something… we ALL want to find that “something”. And if you say you’re not, well… you’re either extremely unaware of yourself or just flat out lying.
We’re hosting 3 different stories from people at our church in this next series.
This first video is of Jessica… a woman (and now friend) I had been praying for LONG before I ever saw her face, met her in person, or embraced her.
Christmas Trees For Kids
Our church, Church at Bethany, is raising money a different way for Christmas this year. In fact, the money we’re raising isn’t even FOR our church… but ALL of the proceeds will go toward the helping homeless children in our community and towards aiding children in orphanages.
If you’re in the Portland area, and are planning on getting a tree for Christmas this year… please consider purchasing it from us. Your money will go to those in greater need. There’s no BETTER way to get a Christmas tree this year!
Below is the press release I pulled from Matt’s blogsite.
PRESS RELEASE
Church! at Bethany, a 3-year old church that meets at the Stoller Middle School, is selling Christmas Trees For Kids.
100% of the proceeds will go to help children. 50% will go to the Beaverton School District Homeless Student Fund and 50% will go to Children of the Nations, which is a Seattle based organization that works in Africa to care for orphaned children.
The sale will take place at 16260 NW Bronson Rd Beaverton, on November 28th, 29th and December 5th, 6th, 12th, and 13th
Hours of operation are Saturdays 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM. Sundays 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM.
Trees are available starting at $25.
Donations are accepted and can be made online here!
Check out our Facebook Page and invite your friends!
Alece Ronzino: I’m Exhaustulated
Meet Alece.
She’s real. She’s raw. She’s AH-MAZ-ING!
Alece’s story humbles me. Her mission inspires me. The example her life exudes pushes me to be more gracious, loving and prayerful towards others… even the ones who are not kind to me.
Thank you, Alece, for revealing your heart here today. I’m so humbled to call you “friend”.
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I was reading along in Isaiah when I tripped over this phrase: “You have not wearied yourselves for Me, O Israel.” I brushed off my knees and copped a squat right there. I knew exactly what God was talking about. And I knew I was just as guilty as Israel was.
After over eleven years in full-time ministry, I know full-well what it’s like to weary myself. I’ve put in the ridiculously long hours. I’ve juggled an impossible schedule. I’ve reached the point of burnout and lived to tell about it.
And as I fall in bed exhausted at the end of a long day week month year decade, my heart sighs, “I’m weary…”
If I listen closely enough, I hear God’s voice, ever loving and gentle. “But you haven’t wearied yourself for Me.”
Without even realizing it, I’ve been wearing my exhaustion like a badge of honor. My demanding schedule and ever-growing to do lists became my identity. As if fatigue is the mark of an accomplished missionary.
If I’m most honest, I wearied myself because I thought my value lay in my productivity. I mistook accomplishments for significance. I bought into the lie that busyness is the telltale sign of successful leadership.
But while I was getting stuff done, and even—by God’s grace—impacting lives, I was ultimately toiling for the wrong reasons.
The work of discipling young leaders in Africa is worth every ounce of my effort and energy. I want to tire myself out doing what I love. But I need to keep the motives of my heart in check. Wearying myself for some self-serving purpose is just plain tiring.
I want to weary myself for Him.
Then and only then am I strengthened.
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What do you weary yourself over?
Grace Is For Sinners
Serena Woods is the author of Grace Is For Sinners.
Here is a woman who has experienced far more than her allotted portion of life and still stands tall to tell her story. Instead of blaming her circumstances and sitting dormantly bitter, she’s openly chosen AND choosing life.
Serena is a woman of passion, love, grace and forgiveness. She has boldly shared her story and experiences at graceisforsinners.com with all of us so that maybe… JUST maybe OUR stories can turn out less marred.
Thanks Serena, for posting your wisdom here today!
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Remembering who we are is one of the hardest things to do.
The experiences we have in flesh and blood distract us from the experiences that take place in the spirit, the ‘wind hovering over the water’ life.
It’s hard to rip the flesh out of the equation. Needs make us aware of the ability in our hands. Passion makes us aware of the energy in our shapes. Dreams make us aware of the potential in our time. Pain makes us aware of the energy in our tears. Anger makes us sense the power of our fists. We use God like a shovel. We wear God like cheap perfume. We use oils and chants as though God were a genie. Our sense of entitlement thinks God wouldn’t want us to cry. Our so called righteous indignation uses God like brass knuckles.
When will we see that the flesh is separate from the spirit? We have the freedom to move about the world and all of its experiences without being bound to them. Things in this life do not sustain us because their loss cannot break us. We navigate our lives choosing liberation or capture.
It’s not about choosing right for the sake of choosing right. You’re choosing freedom. Not freedom from pain, failure, consequences or punishment. These are all things that have to do with the flesh. Flesh is relative and based on perspective.
Freedom has to do with the spirit. Nothing in the here and now should be used to navigate you. Only distract you. You have a force working against your freedom. An enemy who wants you to feel not only pain, guilt and uncertainty, but also relief, success and security. We are distracted by all of those things. We are tied to all of those things. We are held captive by our flesh in more ways than we know.
The power of the wind. An invisible force gentle enough to make chimes sing. Sturdy enough for birds to rest their wings. Strong enough to put a farmer’s tractor in the trees. The power of the wind hints at a terrifying and awesome invisible made visible by the effects it has on what we can actually see.
Flesh is only a whisper, not an infallible entity. Don’t submit to things that die with passing time. It’ll never be fascinating enough to hold you and it will never be simple enough to make you understand.
“You’re not listening. Let me say it again. Unless a person submits to this original creation—the ‘wind-hovering-over- the-water’ creation, the invisible moving the visible, a baptism into a new life—it’s not possible to enter God’s kingdom. When you look at a baby, it’s just that: a body you can look at and touch. But the person who takes shape within is formed by something you can’t see and touch—the Spirit—and becomes a living spirit.”
~ Jesus, John 3 5-6 MSG
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oh… P.S. – Serena & I did a blog swap today. Serena is hosting “Affair Week” at GraceIsForSinners.com so make sure you come on over and visit me.
wow… those were definitely words I never thought I’d say.
Worship Confessional – 11.01.09
Last week, we started the Hostage Series at Church at Bethany by focusing on WORRY.
To be completely honest, I knew I would struggle with this series. I’m kind of a hostage to myself. I worry about everything… even over the silliest things that really don’t need to be worried about.
This week, God spoke right to my heart… BITTERNESS.
What really hit home was when Matt said this:
Bitter people…
… tend to justify bitterness
… tend to be overly critical
… secretly celebrate the misfortune of others
… tend to write-off groups of people
… fail to recognize the bitterness in the mirror
I am guilty of all of these things.
There have been times I thought I had gotten rid of my bitterness because I “weeded” by cutting it off at the stem. But because I never FULLY dealt with ME, it always came back. My bitterness is deeply rooted. I’m not sure where my bitterness came from… but at this point, it really doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I can NOT stay bitter anymore. I have a husband and two sons that deserve more than just my reserves. The only way to kill the root of bitterness is WITH forgiveness. Forgiveness towards people who have hurt me… and forgiveness to myself for hurting myself AND others. How dare I hold forgiveness from people and even myself when God has sacrificially forgiven me?
“… forgiveness meant that God is for giving, and that we are here for giving too, and that to withhold love or blessings is to be completely delusional.” ~ Anne Lamott
I’m thankful for the blood of Jesus. I’m thankful for another day. And I’m thankful for the opportunities to change old broken relationships for the better.
Today’s Sunday Setlist was:
- Holy Is The Lord – Chris Tomlin
- King of Glory – Chris Tomlin
- Nothing But The Blood – Robert Lowry
- O The Blood – Hillsong
- Revelation Song – Jennie Riddle
- You Alone – David Crowder
- You’ll Come – Brooke Fraser
Highlights: I love a fuller band sound. I love daylight savings for that extra hour. I love how our church pulls together for a common purpose. I love how real Matt Payne is willing to be. I love when the act of worshiping is made easier because you don’t have to worry about the logistics. Today was a great day.
Lowlights: Though I’m not sick, my throat is fighting me on that. Time to give my vocal cords some TLC, I think.
How was YOUR Sunday? Link away.
David Goodwin: Stereotyped?
Today’s post was written by my friend, David Goodwin.
David and his wife, Diane, are a part of my LifeGroup Online group. We’ve been meeting for over a year now and I can honestly say that David & Diane are a couple we have not only come to love deeply, but trust fully.
Just like me, David is the Worship Director at his church in Australia and better yet, sang in a barbershop quartet in high school. For those of you who don’t know… I did too.
David and Diane are not fair-weathered friends. They are faithful, constant, loving, merciful, strong, brave, gracious and forgiving. All the things I work towards being more of.
They have stood firmly in God’s word, encouraging and supporting me often but have also called me out in truth when needed. These two are my prayer warriors. I believe they are this way because they THEMSELVES have weathered the storm… many times.
Read these wise, grace-filled words… and take it to heart.
Without further adieu, please welcome… DAVID GOODWIN.
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I don’t talk about it. With anyone. Ever.
That’s mainly because I don’t think I want the consequences I think will come from talking about it. But I don’t know if those consequences are real or imagined. It’s not as though no-one knows, and a large percentage of people I meet assume what I’m about to say anyway, despite the factual evidence to the contrary.
However…
For most of my life, I was gay.
Or rather, I believed the lie that I was gay and nothing could be done about it.
That’s the first time I’ve ever written those words.
And I’m not making a song and dance about it (maybe I should…using “Single Ladies“ and the cast of Glee), but it’s a large part of my life testimony that’s essentially been torn out of the story book.
Until now.
Don’t misunderstand me, this is my past, not my future. My former self, not my current self. Who I was, not who I am.
While I was gay…
- I didn’t fully embrace the lifestyle, though I had opportunity…and wanted to.
- I didn’t cut off from my Christian family, though I moved far from them, partly for fear of rejection.
- I didn’t leave church physically, though I did emotionally and spiritually.
- I didn’t stop being a Christian. Sin doesn’t revoke salvation.
What I did do was allow spiritual oppression to come upon me. That’s OK. We all do that from time to time.
It’s not right, but it’s OK. (thanks Whitney…)
Wait. Isn’t homosexuality genetic? Well, despite this video clearly explaining from 1m40s onward that the Greeks invented gayness (ironic comedy people), the consensus on homosexuality is as clear as the science on evolution, but I’m not here to debate.
I’m just filling in some lifestory gaps.
I’ve always been camp. It’s who I was, who I still am, there’s nothing wrong with that. But for years, I let the lifestyle the world stereotypically associates with male sensitivity/creativity/propensity-to-break-out-in-Broadway-musicals-in-supermarkets override my God-given destiny.
And I knew something was wrong. That’s why I never went all in. The Holy Spirit within me kept nudging. Only I didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t have the knowledge I needed to understand this condition wasn’t “just the way it is”.
So I accepted a lie. A miserable, debauched lie. satan was having his way with me.
But God, in His grace and mercy, set people across my path who opened my eyes to battles taking place in the spiritual realm affecting our physical lives. All gleaned from Scripture, but I’d never seen it before. It all made sense.
How could I have been so blind?
(Yeah, dumb question in hindsight. satan’s aim is to find ways of blindfolding us from the Light. he’s good at it)
Armed with new knowledge (and fresh revelation of past experiences…like the time I was protected by a visible angel…another story…), I went into battle. With help from friends new and old, satan lost yet another fight. He didn’t go down quietly – he never does – but that’s why the weapons God gives us for warfare are strong and mighty for breaking down strongholds.
The mind-games satan played on me involved stereotypes. he uses these seemingly innocuous casts to convince us that you can’t break the mold.
So he tries all sorts of crap…
- you can’t be a straight man and understand the difference between stilettos and pumps.
- you can’t desire a woman and be interested in why she prefers Napoleon Perdis over M.A.C.
- and you can’t be a heterosexual male and not only understand what these books are saying, but also how to implement the advice therein for the greater good.
Except you can, and even though society is more accepting of the concept that being metrosexual and heterosexual can be mutually inclusive, what society accepts doesn’t matter.
It’s all about God. And I don’t want it any other way. He’s jealous, He loves me, and I love Him. I’m choosing the destiny He’s mapped out for me, often against the will of my flesh. Even though I don’t have the same battles as my former self, life presents new conflicts of will. In every instance, I want to be sure I choose Life over life.
After this battle was won He was able to set me on an entirely unexpected path. One where I’d meet my wife. Via the internet. And travel the world. And emigrate. And break into song in supermarkets together.
But much of that part of the story has been documented. With video. And fluorescent swirls on my shirt. I look hawt.
Worship Confessional – 10.18.09
Today started out being just a bit… off.
I’m still processing what happened this morning to get me so rattled. I can’t put my finger on it necessarily, but Sunday mornings have always just been THAT morning. The morning that’s more challenging than the rest. It often feels like everything is against me.
Here’s our typical Sunday:
Get awaken by kids
Change kids’ diapers
Make breakfast for kids
Coax kids into eating breakfast
Threaten bodily harm if they don’t eat their breakfast
Dress kids
Dress them again after they’ve undressed themselves
Load guitars, drum kits, a laptop, chord charts, a diaper bag in the car
Load kids in the car (rather… WRESTLE them)
Get IN the car
Get out of the car to grab things we’ve forgotten to do unnecessary wrestling
Get in the car… again
Breathe
By the time we start the car, Brian and I want to just call it a day. At this point, we haven’t even started to help set up church yet. These are the confessions of a Worship Pastor of a church plant who has two kids under school age and does “church-in-a-box” every week at a local middle school.
Today… I was just tired.
But you know what’s amazing? By the time 10:30am hit and service began… everything was smooth like BUTTA, and I again remembered why I love doing what I do.
Our Sunday Setlist at Church at Bethany this morning was:
- You’ll Come – Brooke Fraser
- All We Need – Charlie Hall
- O Praise Him – David Crowder
- Lead Me To The Cross – Brooke Fraser
- Grace Like Rain – Todd Agnew
- From the Inside Out – Joel Houston
- Hosanna – Brooke Fraser
Highlights: Having my old high school friend, Sarah Jean, and her daughter, Mikaelyn, visiting from Seattle. It’s really awesome to see where 13 years takes all of us in our life stories… and how greatly different we both are after all this time, in a really amazing ways. Also, every time I get to play with Aaron Soule is a good day. That guy is funny.
Lowlights: Everything I mentioned above.
How was YOUR worship experience?
Worship Confessional – 10.11.09
I really love Sundays.
I’m not sure why… But I think it may be because I’m no longer hiding in my secrets and I’m truly experiencing the love and grace from a church body. It’s pretty awesome.
This morning, Matt talked about community… our church. How we’re like fish, living in a fishbowl… safe in our church walls, but GOD has created us to be “fish”. We’re not supposed to live in an aquarium, all pretty, perfect, trapped and bound for death. We should be in the river… LIVING. Yes, it may be more dangerous… we may get hurt out there… but that’s where God intended us to be. The LIGHT in the DARKNESS.
What an amazing opportunity and privilege if we chose to live the way we were purposed!
Our Sunday Setlist this morning was:
- Beautiful One – Tim Hughes
- Evermore – Joel Houston
- Enough – Chris Tomlin
- Cry In My Heart – Starfield
- Healer – Mike Gugliamucci
- Mighty To Save – Reuben Morgan
Highlights: We set up in less than an hour which gave me some time to really chat with people before the service. And it’s pretty amazing how the conversations now are “below surface” conversations. I LOVE THAT!!! We’re talking about REAL things. I didn’t sleep very well last night (nothing new there) so I was VERY pleased that my voice didn’t give out on me.
Lowlights: Our family has been fighting a bug. It came home with Chance from school and we’re all trying not to get sick… but alas… we are ALL sick. Please pray for our family’s health… and that we don’t get the swine flu because that would be lamesauce.
Worship Chicks
Tami Hoban, founder of WorshipChicks, asked me to guest post for their 8th entry this week.
You can find it HERE.
Drop a comment… let me know your thoughts!
Worship Confessional – 08.30.09
Yesterday’s worship service felt like a satisfying breath of fresh air after months of treading water.
I’ve mentioned in the past posts that I struggle with feeling ready to lead in the services due to the amount of set up and family “chaos” I have with me on Sunday mornings. It’s just part of being a part of a church plant. However, yesterday, I dropped Crystal off at the airport 1.5 hours before we showed up for church set up. I had 45 minutes in the car just to myself after I dropped her off. I chose to keep the radio off and just pray and sing.
By the time I got to the church, my heart was in a totally different place than on a regular Sunday morning when Brian and I are trying to herd our babies out of the house. I had already connected with God, so I was TOTALLY prepared to help others connect. I don’t know how it went for the rest of the congregation, but overall, I felt like it all just clicked… the set up, the worship, the fellowship time… all of it. I was so thankful.
Here’s the Sunday Setlist:
- All We Need – Charlie Hall
- Desert Song – Brooke Fraser
- How Great Is Our God – Chris Tomlin
- Mighty To Save – Reuben Morgan
- Our Great God – Mac Powell & Fernando Ortega
- Sweetly Broken – Jeremy Riddle
- Till I See You – Joel Houston & Jadwin Gillies
Highlights: Definitely having a REAL and rare quiet time alone in the car prior to the service… having my heart in the right place. I’ll have to figure out how to do something like that every Sunday morning (obviously not that extended, but just some alone time). I think EVERYONE showed up to set up yesterday morning to help set up, because we got started late due to the school being locked up when we got there, but we STILL got set up within 15-20 minutes. This NEVER happens. We sound checked and got everything up and going a good 45 minutes before doors opened… so all of the set-up crew sat around with VooDoo donuts and just got to fellowship. My kids were also in great, behaving moods. That always helps.
We had NO technical issues and a pretty full house. We had to pull out MORE chairs during the service to accommodate all the newcomers. Brian leaned over at one point in the service and said, “I think we’ve hit some kind of strange momentum during summer the last month!” We’ll take it. I love that people in the Bethany area are just WALKING to church to check it out… and what’s better is that some are staying.
Lowlights: I cant say there’s much. It was the last day of our series “The Real OT”… kinda sad about that cuz I actually really liked this series. I LOVE the Old Testament though. Also, at one point during the sermon, it got pretty noisy with babies crying/fussing. We don’t have a nursery through the summer and it’s been pretty good till yesterday. I felt for the parents trying to calm their child and miss part of the sermon. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the kids fussing… that’s just real life… it happens. I feel for the flustered parent who’s struggling with feeling self-conscious about their flailing child and missing out on their experience. I just want to help serve them. We’ll get back to having a nursery in September.
Worship Confessional – 08.23.09
Today was our “church meeting” day… so we only got to lead 3 songs at the top of the set.
Here was the Sunday Setlist:
- I Want To Know You – SonicFlood
- You’ll Come – Brooke Fraser
- Hosanna – Brooke Fraser
Highlights: I had Crystal with me this Sunday so I had her leading with me. It was fun singing with her up front since we NEVER get to do that. We also had a pretty good turn-out for a summer service. My guess is because it was a church meeting day, we had more show up than usual. Either that or the FREE food we advertised for DURING the church meeting. It’s a toss up, really.
Lowlights: Still can’t figure out how to balance my own personal issues (expectations, preparation, being a mom, connections with other church goers, etc.) BEFORE the service. The set-up wasn’t all that difficult this morning, but I felt pretty attacked spiritually during the whole thing. I was impatient, graceless and quick tempered. I felt like I was fighting that ALL morning… but like normal, by the time the service started, all that disappeared. I wish I could somehow funnel all that into “the pocket” BEFORE the service, DURING set-up. Something to work towards, right?
Worship Confessional – 08.09.09
Confessional is one day late… but better late than never, right?
Worship was a pretty fun experience for me yesterday. We set up pretty quickly and just had two acoustic guitars… Mark & me.
For a summer service, the turn out was pretty impressive. I’d like to think it was because they came to see me, but let’s be honest… they don’t even know who I am. In fact… a cute elderly woman came in, in her Sunday’s best, with her blue Sunday bonnet on. That’s when I knew, I’d offend her… even though it was just us two and our guitars.
In the first half of the service, she stood outside where the music wasn’t as loud. The second half, she sang along… but had her fingers in her ears. It was awesome. She chose to worship, even though the style of music was not what she preferred. What a trooper!
Here was our Sunday Setlist:
- Holy Is The Lord – Chris Tomlin
- Point of Difference – Joel Houston
- Glory – Reuben Morgan
- Cry In My Heart – Starfield
- Take Me To The Cross – Dave Lubben
- Hungry (Falling On My Knees) – Kathryn Scott
- From The Inside Out – Joel Houston
First, can I say it’s pretty much a miracle that Brooke Fraser didn’t make it on the list this week. I think I overuse her. I can’t help it though. She’s so awesome!
Highlights: Quick set up, fun worshipful set, great attendance. I enjoyed the lady with the blue bonnet, though she didn’t enjoy my style of music. I also got to talk to a new visitor who was, get this, CHINESE! She introduced herself when I noticed she sounded a lot like my Mom. I asked her if she was Chinese. She said, “yes” and then I asked if she spoke Cantonese. RIGHT AGAIN. She said she thought I was Korean. *shrugs* I actually got to chat with her in Chinese for a few minutes. My Mom would have been proud.
Lowlights: I feel like I’m SO unapproachable prior to service… and even after. Brian and I got to go on a date last night and we talked about why Sundays were so hard for us. We figured it out. Satan attacks HARD on Sundays. At least he does me. Every little thing is more difficult on Sundays: getting the kids out of the house, prepping my heart to lead (this is when every uncertainty and reminder of how I shouldn’t be on the platform comes up), getting food (I can’t really eat before I lead, which means no breakfast, which means I’m STARVING by lunch and usually grumpy), then wrestling kids down for naps. The rest of the day feels like we’re just trying to catch up from THAT morning. I’m not sure how to overcome this battle… but I would so covet your prayers on Saturday evenings and Sundays if you ever think of us. Satan attacks those are doing a good work in His Kingdom… so I guess I should feel purpose with that logic. But I really wouldn’t mind him BACKING HIS JUNK UP every once in awhile.
Next weekend, I’ll be in La Grande with my family celebrating Grandma Peggy’s 85th birthday. I’ve married into the most amazing family and it’s never been more clear how important these people are to me. Dan & Georgene Rice were kind enough to offer to cover for me at Church! at Bethany this coming Sunday. What a treat for our little church plant!
So tell me… how was your Sunday? Link away!
Worship Confessional – 08.02.09
Wow… really… I haven’t posted anything on my blog for a week?
Lame.
It’s not because nothing happened. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. A lot has happened. Lots of good and bad. I’ll post a separate post for all that in a bit here.
Anyway… on with today’s Sunday Setlist:
- My Future Decided
- Point of Difference
- Indescribable
- You Are For Me
- Revelation Song
- Take Me To The Cross
- Desert Song
Highlights: Today set was pretty fun. Mostly because I had Aaron and Nick joining me. I love having a fuller band. It’s amazing how much those two add being just ONE instrument each. We had a bunch of new attenders today too. That’s always a plus.
Lowlights: Our band didn’t have time to practice this week so we WINGED it in hopes that our playing together for years would kick in. The first half went really well, but the second half, though it was “fine”, didn’t ever feel like we ever got “in the pocket”. We also didn’t set up quick enough and so didn’t get a good enough soundcheck.
There you go… short and sweet 
Worship Confessional – 07.19.09
Matt started our new series “The Real OT” today. We’re going back and giving the Old Testament some love.
I LOVE the Old Testament, because I get to see how God used some messed up people… I mean, REALLY messed up people to do His amazing work. He used sinners: murderers, adulterers, prostitutes, outcasts… pretty much everything I am (no… I haven’t physically murdered anyone, but I have many times in my mind… so that counts). Seeing God use all the people we as “CHRISTIANS” avoid helps me see, contrary to my own built-in beliefs, that I am worthy to do His work.
This really gives me hope.
Instead of wallowing in the past and kicking myself over and over for what I’ve done (and can’t UN-do), I need to get up, wash my face and say: “To hell with Satan and his deceiving lies! Today, is a new day. TODAY, I have the opportunity to make it RIGHT!” Because, the greatest tragedy is not the sins we commit, but the life we fail to fulfill.
Today’s Sunday Setlist was:
- You’ll Come – Brooke Fraser
- Blessed Be Your Name – Matt Redman
- How Great Is Our God – Chris Tomlin
- Cry In My Heart – Starfield
- Revelation Song – Jennie Riddle
- We Fall Down – Chris Tomlin
- From The Inside Out – Joel Houston
Highlights of the Day: I felt like the set went really well today. Lots of voices raised in worship together… that’s always positive for me. One of my favorite songs ever is “Cry of My Heart” from the first Starfield album. I used it as our “response song”, but had everyone join in the second time around. Great words (I’ve provided the mp3 of the song below in case you’ve never heard it). This morning was also a phenomenon because we got all set up with 30 minutes extra on the clock. WOW! However, the best part of the morning was getting to snuggle with Brian in the “tech booth” during the sermon.
Lowlights of the Day: I was overseeing the graphics part of the sermon and for some reason, I just couldn’t get it together today. I kept hitting the wrong slide or was late. Probably because I was Twittering at the same time. :/ oh well.
How was your Sunday? Link away…
Worship Confessional – 07.05.09
Today’s service was really fun.
We merged with Somerset. They’re Pastor is on vacation so Matt was invited to speak. Since we’re so close in proximity… AND we actually have our office space IN their church… we combined both church bodies this morning and worshiped together.
Our Sunday Setlist this morning:
- Holy Is The Lord -Chris Tomlin
- All Creatures of Our God and King – Francis of Assisi
- God of Wonders – Marc Byrd & Steve Hindalong
- Healer – Mike Guglielmucci
- Revelation Song – Jennie Riddle
- Grace Like Rain – Todd Agnew
- Desert Song – Brooke Fraser
Highlights: It was a total blast playing and singing with Aaron, Nick and Mark. Also… because we were at Somerset, we set up on Thursday night when we practice. All we did this morning was show up, plug in, warm up and VOILA! Like butta!!! I was really cool to worship with another church body. This is SUCH a rare privilege. Seriously awesome! Some of the transitions we as the band came up were seriously rad. There’s nothing better than a RAD transition from one song to the next. I also liked seeing Nick and Aaron sitting the same way… in their own pews. Don’t know why… but this was a highlight too.
Lowlights: Holiday weekends always mean a smaller attendance. Today was no different. People were claiming their independence from church! HA! Another low… Feeling like I still had gunpowder in my throat and sinuses from the fireworks last night. Really… that’s about it. Well… obviously, I missed some musical cues… but that’s a normal daily occurrence… so whatever. It was a great day!
And now… I’m leaving you with the live recording of our transition between Grace Like Rain & Desert Song. Actually… I’ll leave you ALL of Desert Song, in case you want to hear it. Just ignore the end when we somehow derailed a bit and weren’t really playing together anymore. Oops!
Finally… I leave you with this.
My son is a rockstar!
Hope you had a great Independence Day/Weekend!
How was your Sunday? Link your posts if you have one!
Worship Confessional – 06.28.09
Today was our second week of our Renegade Joy Series, focusing in on Philippians 2:12-30.
Matt talked about our tendencies to complain as humans. We all have something to complain about… but God calls us to live in JOY. I am SO guilty of this. Not the “living in joy” part… the complaining part… in case you were confused. I really spend WAY more time talking about the negatives in my life than the all the amazing blessings that surround me. I guess that just come easier for me as a pessimist. Obviously, this is something I really need to work on.
The whole set this morning was just me and my beautiful Larrivee. It would have been fine if I didn’t feel like poopy. Our whole family is sick right now. Not just a common cold, but the whole “my-throat-is-on-FIRE!” kind. Before I got to church for set up, I think I coughed up about 5 pounds of phlegm. My voice was super crackalicious… BUT I also had that weird, kinda awesome sick “sexy-Phoebe-voice” (sorry if you never watched Friends)… so it worked.
The Sunday Setlist this morning:
- Not To Us – Chris Tomlin
- Holy Is The Lord – Chris Tomlin
- Hosanna – Brooke Fraser
- Stars – Switchfoot
- Sweetly Broken – Jeremy Riddle
- Till I See You – Joel Houston
- Revelation Song – Jennie Riddle
We used “Stars” as the special response piece. Had to play around a bit to change an upbeat, full-band song into a slower, one person, acoustic, “think-about-your-daily-lives” version. Here’s the live, house-mix recording from this morning (besides a couple of times where I obviously had some breath support issues and *maybe* forgot how to play the guitar… it’s not all that bad for being live).
Highlights from this morning: It was really good to have Brian back at church with me… even though he WAS sick. It also seemed like my voice and guitar were EQ’d really well. Felt like “butta”! The set-up was RIDICULOUSLY fast. We were done, like, 45 minutes before service started… which means we were done 45 minutes quicker than usual. Felt like all the music totally connected with the sermon. I LOVE when that happens. Well… I guess that’s what happens when the speaker picks the “Special” piece. HA!
Lowlights from this morning: Leading while I’m sick is definitely not fun. I want to give my best, and I felt like I didn’t have much to give physically… but God’s Spirit works through me anyway. Thank God, for that!!! Our speaker mic is also giving us some trouble. You could probably hear the “fuzzy” in Matt’s voice at the beginning of the recording. It’s not consistent. It’s happened one other time than today. I need to figure out a way to fix that. Hmmm…
I can’t really say too much negative about today. Church went really, REALLY well.
The best part? Chance’s Sunday School lesson. Check it out:
What did YOU do today? (link to your post, if you’d like)
Worship Confessional – 05.03.09
Today was another Clayville Freakshow Sunday.
Matt was in Chicago so Brian spoke on how we view Jesus as a “Middle Class” Jesus… when he’s SO much more than that.
Our Sunday Setlist:
- Majestic – Lincoln Brewster
- O Worship The King – Chris Tomlin Version
- King of Glory – Chris Tomlin
- Blessed Be Your Name – Matt Redman
- The Stand – Joel Houston
- Give Us Clean Hands – Charlie Hall
- Desert Song – Brooke Fraser
Today was a tough day to lead. My heart was heavy but I felt so free and connected to God. Freedom always costs something… and mine was Christ on the cross. I will never stop being humbled by how MY sins put Christ on that cross… but I am SO thankful. Today was one of those days.
Highlights: Doing MINISTRY with my husband. I really like it when he speaks… not that I don’t like Matt, but there’s something about living ministry side-by-side with my husband. God met me RIGHT where I was… which was in a pretty deep hole, but he STILL met me there. God is SO good. The practical stuff??? We had no technical difficulties. Any day we are technical-difficulty-free at a church plant is a good day
Lowlights: Having to lead worship when I felt so low. Sometimes, Satan comes at me like a starving spider monkey… and I’m the banana… so I have no arms to defend myself. There’s my word picture for you. However, even in the “low” of it all, I could bless His name. After all, He calls us to worship just as we are… so I just led in that. Another low, attendance was pretty light today. But that was it.
So, there’s my confession today. I’m a Worship Pastor, and I do NOT have it all together. However, God is good all the time… even when I’m not good. Even when I want to stay in bed. Even when I don’t feel like I even deserve to call out His name.
But BLESSED BE YOUR NAME when I’m found in the dessert place, when I walk through the wilderness… BLESSED BE YOUR NAME!
When you’re in the dessert, do you find yourself calling out to God, or do you just wallow in it?
Worship Confessional – 04.26.09
I feel a bit out of it.
As most of you know, we were in Florida all week for the Exponential Conference. It was good to get away… why does it always feel like you need a vacation from your vacation.
Anyway… we were gone from Monday through late Saturday, so we headed into Sunday morning like dizzy spider-monkeys… but all of us were SUPER renewed in our focus and purpose… so I guess we were dizzy spider-monkeys with focus and purpose.
Here are some pictures of what it looks like BEFORE set up:
And here it is DURING service:
Not the greatest photos since it was with my iPhone, but you get the point.
Here was our Sunday Setlist:
- Glory – Reuben Morgan
- Desert Song – Brooke Fraser
- Meet With Me – Lamont Hiebert
- Befriended – Matt Redman
- Healer – Mike Gugliamucci
- Mighty To Save – Morgan & Fielding
Highlights: well… obviously, Matt & I were coming off of a high from our week at Exponential so we were pretty “on” with the speaking and music. Brian even said that it felt like one of our strongest weeks there. That’s a plus. But my favorite part of the morning was stepping back off the mic during “Mighty To Save” and hearing the church sing out to God. That never gets old.
Also… we got set-up quickly. Probably because it was just me and guitar this past week (I could schedule a practice since I was gone, so it was easier just to do the “one-woman-show” deal). I didn’t feel rushed into our morning.
Lowlights: My past sins were weighing heavily on my shoulders that morning. It was a struggle to allow God to remind me that I am forgiven and loved. Satan was REALLY trying to take me down by reminding me of how unworthy I am.
I can’t wait for the day I will no longer feel guilt for my past, but for now, I am SO grateful for the glimpse of grace in my life. That’s where my worship to God comes from… desperation and desire for resolve in my life.
Where does your cry of worship come from?
Renee = Cool
My sister, Renee, dances with Urban Poets (the dance ministry at Mosaic, the church Erwin McManus Pastors in L.A.). She’s been doing this for a few years now. Other than the occasional YouTube video she’ll send my way, I’ve never had the chance to see her dance with them for the obvious reason that I am a Worship Pastor. Sundays are pretty much reserved
TODAY, however, I got to see her open at the Exponential Conference.
She was AWESOME!!! Here are some pictures (they’re not that great of quality since they’re from my iPhone, but you’ll get the idea):
She’s the one in the green above. It’s her shirt that says “I’m Rad” on it. HAHAHA!!!
And there she is in the middle with her hair flying everywhere.
And again… in the middle.
I thought my family would enjoy seeing pictures of Nae on the main stage. She and the team did a great job! I was UBER proud
The coolest thing was that we got to be here in Florida TOGETHER. She was here to serve and I’m here as a church planter. What’s particularly awesome is to see our lives get woven together like this and to see how FAR God has brought us from our messed up childhood. God is good!!!
What cool things do YOUR siblings do?
Exponential Conference 2009 – Day 1
Today was our first day at the Exponential Conference. It wasn’t even a full day today and I ALREADY feel refreshed and refueled. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way and it couldn’t come at a better time.
Already warning you… this will be a longer post since I’m just decompressing and inserting some of the notes from today. This is probably not a post for all of you, but I know some of you would love to read the my notes. To make it easier, I’ll just bullet point everything. If you have any questions, just post them down in the comments and I’ll try my best to go into more detail.
Anyway… here goes, starting with the main session with Erwin McManus.
- We end up using all our sincerest energies creating a space for Christians… not the unconnected.
- We only like people that are just like us. We magnetize towards people like us, so our church ends up looking like… me. What we need to do is draw towards people UNLIKE ourselves.
- We need to LOVE. Love covers a multitude of irrelevance.
- We need to be a city of others. We need to do this first space well. The God-fearing greeks need to outnumber the Jews.
- It’s not that people aren’t searching – it’s just that they don’t know who to have a conversation with, who they can trust.
- Jesus died to call us to live our most heroic life for eternity.
- The Marketplace needs a gospel that makes sense. Not a watered down gospel.
- The moment you create a space for Dionysus, you will lose your space in the “first space”. Jesus is looking for people who will have the guts to forsake the Martha, Mary’s and Luke and live with such intense courage for a world like Dionysus.
- The difference we make is not for the Christians, but for the lost.
Breakout Session #1 – Dave Ferguson
- New churches:
- Grow 23 times faster than existing churches
- 3-4 times the number of conversions as do older churches
- Like geese, people can fly 75% longer if they fly in a flock.
- Apostolic Leadership:
- Ephesians 4:11-12
- Apostolic leaders see the future more clearly than others
- Apostolic leaders empower others to create new communities of faith
- Apostolic leaders embed ideology (theology / philosophy)
- Apostolic leaders guard ideology (theology / philosophy)
- Apostolic leaders creates a tension between the new & established environment, edge & center, going & staying, lost & found… always values the new, edge, going & lost.
- Apostolic leaders usually sends their best people out to start new things.
- Shared Dream
- Acts 1:8
- Dream: a catalyst for a movement of reproducing churches.
- Values: reproducing, relationships, residencies, resources
- Gospel of Jesus
- This must be the core of every movement.
- Genuine Community
- TRUST.
- Four Credibilities: Integrity, Intent, Capabilities, Results
- Rapid Reproduction
- Reproducing Leaders who starts a Reproducing Church that begins a Reproducing Network.
Breakout Session #3 – Gary Lamb and Scott Hodge
Gary Lamb:
- It’s much easier to compromise about your vision than it is to be mean about it.
- It is NOT easy to be mean… but you gotta be confident on what God has called you to do. Don’t compromise on that.
- If you can’t be mean about your calling… then you weren’t called.
- We have glorified church planting… it’s not for everyone.
- There’s a Judas at every table and he’s close enough to kiss you.
- There’s a difference between being mean and being mean about the vision.
Scott Hodge
- We’re not a church trying to reach the needs of a Christian culture… we’re reaching the unchurched people.
- If you try to meet the needs of EVERYONE, you will be a confused church.
- When people come to you and want to add or change the vision, ask this of yourself: “Have I not been clear?”
- There is a disconnect between how people view Christ and the people who are representing Him.
- Replanting a church – Know you’ll lose people, but don’t take it personally.
- Let’s be gracious when people leave your church. You may not be the right church for them.
- It’s impossible to have a change in the church if you don’t have the change within you.
- 3 questions you need to ask:
- Who has God called us to reach?
- What is it going to take?
- Are we willing to pay the price?
So… those are my notes. Hope they make some sense to you… but you know how notes go – they’re mostly what resonated with me
Some really great things happened today, like watching my sister, Renee, dance with Urban Poets as an opener for the main session for Erwin McManus. Then, getting to go to dinner with Justin and Trisha Davis. But those are just as great of events so I’ll post separate posts about those
Worship Confessional – 04.05.09
PALM SUNDAY… woot woot!
I don’t know why I started it that way… I just did
So, I decided to do a VIDEO worship confessional this week since I haven’t done one in SO long. Lucky you… or not.
Here goes (if you’re reading this in a RSS, you’ll have to actually go to MY SITE to see it):
The Sunday Setlist:
- Evermore – Joel Houston
- Desert Song – Brooke Fraser
- Lead Me To The Cross -Brooke Fraser
- To The Ends of the Earth – Joel Houston/Marty Sampson
- Healer – Mike Gugliomucci Guglielmucci (thx David)
Worship Confessional – 03.29.09
Spring Break really brings the attendance down. I don’t remember ever missing church when I was little… and since I’ve been in ministry, it’s rare that I miss a weekend. Totally foreign concept to me, I guess.
Anyhoo… all that to say that the numbers were down today. No biggie.
Our Sunday Setlist today:
- Glory – Reuben Morgan
- O Praise Him – David Crowder
- Our Great God – Mac Powell & Fernando Ortega
- Healer – Mike Gugliomucci
- Amazing Grace – Traditional Hymn
- (into) Grace Like Rain – Todd Agnew
High Points: I really liked our transition from Amazing Grace into Grace Like Rain. We just use a synth pad as the only instrument during Amazing Grace, then bring the guitar in once we get to Grace Like Rain.
Also, our set up today was pretty much AMAZING!!! We got done pretty quickly and had time to run almost every song (at least partially). I felt GREAT about it.
Everyone else seemed to feel great this morning too… since no one seemed to want to stop chatting in the first song. I’ve always lovingly called the first song at church the “throw-away” song. You know… the song you plan mostly as a “WELCOME” kind of a song. Upbeat, inviting, friendly. However, it usually helps bring everyone’s attention in and prep them FOR worship.
Not today. This leads to my low point (which is really not that low):
Trying to lead while the majority of the church participants are chatting is difficult. That’s all.
Worship Confessional – 03.22.09
Today was sweet. I had Aaron Soule and Katelyn Bonn playing with me. There’s such a nice feeling that comes with playing in a band with people you’ve played with for years.
Set up was rough. We tried something new in the set-up look today but didn’t necessarily have the man power to pull it all off early enough… so we were SWEATIN’ getting ready in time. We actually ended up starting church LATE because of that.
It was easy enough to remedy. I just cut our first song, “He Lives” by Generation Unleashed… but MAN… today would have been a good day NOT to “Mandy Thompson” it and forget deodorant. Good thing I don’t stink… just sweaty and sticky. Still… ew!
Anyway… here is the Sunday Setlist:
- O Worship The King (E) – Chris Tomlin Version
- Devotion (E) – Marty Sampson
- To The Ends of the Earth (E) – Joel Houston/Marty Sampson
- Hosanna (E) – Brooke Fraser
- Your Love Oh Lord (E) – Third Day
- From the Inside Out (C) – Joel Houston
So, we hit the first two songs, Matt came up and spoke, then we were up again to close it up.
Sweet Moments: having almost every song in the same key made the transitions super smooth, like butta… so it was easy to keep the mood and atmosphere in between songs. Today also felt more energetic… because Aaron’s just that kind of drummer. Super sweet moments looking out and seeing people worshiping. It’s SO worth every drop of sweat when you see you’ve helped create an atmosphere where people can freely approach the foot of His Throne. However… this leads me to…
Low Moments: I forgot to wear deodorant. UGH! Ok… seriously… again… it’s the rush of set up and being READY to lead worship immediately after. I feel really exclusive in that time since I’m so task oriented and I don’t like that. God and I will have to work through that.
… and when was the last time you forgot to apply deodorant?
Jenni on Skype: jclayville 
