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Cabbage Patch Doll

September 22, 2009 in Childhood, Jenni, Life Experience, Personal Entries with 8 Comments

I was 5 years old, in Kindergarten, when I really started to notice how different I was. I guess it didn’t help that I was JUST starting to get the hang of the English language, but I noticed how quickly and easily everyone befriended each other.

Everyone, but me…

As a child, I didn’t understand that it was because it was hard to communicate with me… I just thought it was because I didn’t have the same stuff they had.

Everyone had blonde hair, blue eyes… maybe even a sprinkle here and there of a gorgeous brunette or a cutie patootie freckled red-head. Everyone was unmistakably “normal”. Me? I had a homemade Asian bowl-cut hairstyle.

I was HONG-KONG-A-FIDE! (I don’t know what that means… just go with it)

It was about this time that “Show and Tell” was popular. Every little girl seemed to have a new Cabbage Patch Dolls.

Since I was already overly aware I didn’t fit in, my 5 year-old mind told me, “If you have a Cabbage Patch Doll, you’ll be like everyone else.”

I begged my parents. I mean BEGGED!!! But the same answer came out of their mouths as usual.

“We just don’t have the extra money.”

I was devastated. I hated being me.

Fast forward to first grade. It’s my birthday. HUGE package. ”I bet it’s more clothes.” I opened the package.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! It’s a Cabbage Patch Doll!!!” No… really… I screamed. I remember this.

I was FINALLY going to be “normal”. I was finally going to fit in and not feel so alone. I was finally like EVERYONE ELSE!!!

Imagine my devastation when I brought my little “ticket-to-normalcy” to school and discovered I was still the same me as the many days before. The one thing I was certain would make me somebody, only made me feel more like an absolute NOBODY. I was STILL the kid with the Hong Kong bowl-cut. I was still “not-the-norm”.

How often do I try harder than I need, to be “the norm” when what God’s desire is for me is to be genuinely, authentically ME?

Today… I’m grateful I am different. Today… I’m thankful my story is not like everyone else’s. I’m ecstatic that Brian & My Story isn’t going to be like everyone else’s. God didn’t create us to be “normal”… He created us to be UNIQUE and completely pleasing to Him.

Nothing I own defines me.
Nothing I know defines me.
No one I know defines me.
Only GOD defines me.

My Cabbage Patch Doll was a lie. A lie I believed would make me important, when what it really was… was an idol.

What’s YOUR Cabbage Patch Doll?
Are you ready to get rid of it with me?

Worship Confessional – 09.20.09 – “SIN”

September 20, 2009 in Church Planting, Faith, Family, Jenni, Marriage, Ministry, Personal Entries, Worship, Worship Confessional with 37 Comments

Today was a BIG day for us.

We had been asking for prayer because we, Brian and I, were sharing our story.

The Sunday Setlist today was:

Not To Us – Chris Tomlin
O Praise Him – David Crowder
O Worship The King – Chris Tomlin Version
Mighty To Save – Reuben Morgan (Response)

As you can see, we only had three songs (the 4th was in video form at the very end of the service)… because the sermon and our story took the majority of the service. I usually write about our sets and how the musical/technical portion of our services went in these Worship Confessionals, but today, it’s just MY CONFESSIONAL.

I want to encourage you guys to listen to the complete podcast of the sermon HERE on the Church at Bethany website , but we thought we would post JUST our portion here. It’s about 20 minutes, so get a drink and get comfortable:

Click here to listen to Our Story.

Though the majority of our support encouraged us and helped propel us forward to share our story, a couple of people tried to talk us out of it. We know that they were mostly worried for us and were trying to protect us, but in hindsight, we can see that it was Satan using them to try to keep us from sharing what he would have rather kept trapped in the dark. We say “in hindsight” because today was INCREDIBLY powerful. In fact, barely any of it was about us.

Yes, we shared OUR story of sin, forgiveness, hope and redemption… but what it really did, was allow people to realize the freedom they had in releasing their demons.

We discovered OUR story was not only OUR story, but so many others. We had a few couples tell us we basically just told THEIR story. I never thought God would use OUR story to help release others into the light… into HIS Truth.

Brian and I are SO glad we obeyed. We put our fear to the side, ignoring Satan’s whispers to hide. This morning was about SO much more than us.

God is in the business of restoration and healing.

Please continue to pray for our healing… and all those who stepped out of the darkness today. This is our “Once upon a time…”

Humbly in the Process of Restoration,

Jenni

P.S. Yes… I still have my job as the Worship Pastor at Church at Bethany. They have graciously been walking Brian and me through our healing process.

The Day Before

September 19, 2009 in Family, Marriage, Ministry, Personal Entries with 5 Comments

Sunday’s a comin’…

Tomorrow is when we will have no more secrets.

I’m not stepping into this lightly. Brian and I have been praying almost non-stop for a week about this. Tomorrow is going to be one of the scariest days of my life. I also know it’s going to be one of the most freeing as well. We’re hearing God clearly. We’re obeying him.. but it doesn’t make it any less scary for us.

We know we’ve been blanketed with prayer. We’re asking you crank it up a notch for us. I can’t go into details, but we’ve been hit a bit emotionally… so the more prayers, the better.

Thank you SO much!

The Healer Hoax

August 20, 2008 in Music, Worship with 13 Comments

By now, you have probably heard about “The Healer – by Michael Guglielmucci hoax, ARTICLE HERE.

Tyler Braun, Carlos Whittaker and Rich Kirkpatrick have written about it in their blogs along with many others.

This song is still incredibly powerful to my heart. I’ve seen God work miracles through people even though they are sinful and less than. I’ve seen Him work in and through me (amazingly, He still IS working in/thru me).

It’s apparent, Michael Guglielmucci has been struggling with something bigger than himself. And with all this publicity, this must be one of the most embarrassing things he and his family has ever gone through. Right now, Michael Guglielmucci and his family needs our prayers… not our judgment.

For one thing – I know I am NOT any better. I struggle on a daily basis with sin I want to hide. We should celebrate that he has brought this to the light and is now dealing with this issue face-to-face. As a church, we must lift him up in prayer and show him grace beyond our understanding. This is where his healing can really begin.

Here are the lyrics to the song:

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in you
I trust in you

I believe
You’re my healer
I believe
You are all i need
I believe
You’re my portion
I believe
You’re more than enough for me
Jesus, you’re all i need

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for you
You hold my world in your hands