Jenni Clayville

Today’s post was written by my mentor, encourager and good friend, Tammy Hodge.

She’s probably one of the most gracious and loving people I have ever met.  Her story proves a bravery beyond anything I have ever known or imagined.

If you know her at all, you’ll know she HATES talking on the phone… yet she knows JUST when to call me and exactly what to say.  And when she’s with you… she’s WITH YOU completely, undistracted.

She’ll be 39 here in a few days… but has the wisdom of an 80-year-old AND the potty humor of a 13-year-old boy.  I say that with love… because she’s actually also one of the FUNNIEST people I know (she has made me laugh so hard, I’ve had panic attacks because I couldn’t breathe. the girl ain’t right.)

Tam, you may NOT know how to hold a baby or brush your teeth correctly… but I love you more than words and feel SO fortunate to have a friend like you in my life.

Thanks, Tammit!

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freedom: the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous

onerous: involving an amount of effort and difficulty that is oppressively burdensome

lately, there have been a lot of testimonies being written. several people have shared some deep dark secrets from their pasts. i know, first hand, this is not an easy task. and it is a task. it’s extremely difficult to muster up the courage to reveal something that has kept you in bonds for so long. it somehow becomes your identity. the thing you are. at least, we make it who we are. we force it to be so that we might possibly feel better about ourselves. but…it never works. there is always a nagging truth, reality, that hangs over your head and sits heavily on your shoulders each day. you carry it around and allow it to slow you down. it slows you down from everything. yet…letting that weight go can be terribly scary. partly because of the reveal part…the fact that you are sharing something for the first time. but mostly it’s scary due to what is being revealed. it’s often the thing that keeps us from releasing what bonds us.

so when i see someone releasing an oppressive burden… i know what they’ve gone through to get there. i immediately feel lighter for them. i retrace the steps it takes to get to that moment and i breathe a deep sigh of relief for them.

all this to say…

jenni – what you have done this year took courage. it took a hell of a lot of courage to say that. i am proud of you is so lacking the right word. a confession does not excuse a behavior. but it does prove an acknowledgment and ownership of an act that caused hurt. and in my opinion, very few people are willing to put their necks on the chopping block. but you did. and i applaud you! your story will change lives. it will liberate others. it will shed light where there has been darkness for far too long. it will bring freedom. it is bringing freedom!

thank you for choosing the tough route…for knowing enough that the alternative route would have been even tougher.

i love you.

asian.