Jenni Clayville

So, now we’re in the afternoon portion of the Women’s Conference.

Paxton (who was with me the whole time), being sick, has HAD it with being out.  He obviously wants to be home sleeping in his cradle.  Not only am I already tired, but now I’m UBER-exhausted because the after-lunch-coma hits.

Before we (Holly & I) got up to do our last set, the speaker gave all the groups an assignment. We had to SIT and allow the Spirit to speak and show us pictures of other people in our group.  Two ladies in my group told me a couple of pictures God presented them FOR ME that pretty much sent me over the edge in my state of mind (I’m still debating whether or not to post that whole thing… I’m still processing), not because of what they said, but because it had confirmed/matched up/felt familiar to a reoccurring dream I had been having for the past year.

I’m not a crier.  But I cried.

Holly can attest to this.  We’ve been friends for 7 years now, and she’s only seen me cry, what, 3 times?  Let me just say… THIS is why I usually disengage to some level at these things.  Because I fear not being able to lead worship after something like this happens.

Anyway… up we go to do our final set of the conference:

1. Not To Us – Chris Tomlin
2. You’ll Come – Brooke Fraser
3. Our Great God – Mac Powell & Fernando Ortega
4. Grace Like Rain – Todd Agnew
5. Desert Song – Brooke Fraser
6. Lead Me To The Cross – Brooke Fraser
7. From The Inside Out – Joel Houston

I couldn’t really sing the first song… but I tried anyway.  By the end of the set, I had the “ugly cry” going on.  I had no other option but to explain and share my heart… to 200+ women… even though I hadn’t processed it yet, so I’m sure it came out jumbled and segmented in thought process.  But I did all I could as a worship leader:  I led from where I was at… physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

Pretty sure I won’t be invited back to lead anytime soon.

So spill it:  Have you ever experienced that?  What did you do?