Jenni on Skype: jclayville 
Today was a BIG day for us.
We had been asking for prayer because we, Brian and I, were sharing our story.
The Sunday Setlist today was:
- Not To Us – Chris Tomlin
- O Praise Him – David Crowder
- O Worship The King – Chris Tomlin Version
- Mighty To Save – Reuben Morgan (Response)
As you can see, we only had three songs (the 4th was in video form at the very end of the service)… because the sermon and our story took the majority of the service. I usually write about our sets and how the musical/technical portion of our services went in these Worship Confessionals, but today, it’s just MY CONFESSIONAL.
I want to encourage you guys to listen to the complete podcast of the sermon HERE on the Church at Bethany website , but we thought we would post JUST our portion here. It’s about 20 minutes, so get a drink and get comfortable:
Click here to listen to Our Story.
Though the majority of our support encouraged us and helped propel us forward to share our story, a couple of people tried to talk us out of it. We know that they were mostly worried for us and were trying to protect us, but in hindsight, we can see that it was Satan using them to try to keep us from sharing what he would have rather kept trapped in the dark. We say “in hindsight” because today was INCREDIBLY powerful. In fact, barely any of it was about us.
Yes, we shared OUR story of sin, forgiveness, hope and redemption… but what it really did, was allow people to realize the freedom they had in releasing their demons.
We discovered OUR story was not only OUR story, but so many others. We had a few couples tell us we basically just told THEIR story. I never thought God would use OUR story to help release others into the light… into HIS Truth.
Brian and I are SO glad we obeyed. We put our fear to the side, ignoring Satan’s whispers to hide. This morning was about SO much more than us.
God is in the business of restoration and healing.
Please continue to pray for our healing… and all those who stepped out of the darkness today. This is our “Once upon a time…”
Humbly in the Process of Restoration,
P.S. Yes… I still have my job as the Worship Pastor at Church at Bethany. They have graciously been walking Brian and me through our healing process.
i love you. for real. like a lot. you’re a rock star.
[Reply]
I only wish I could have been sitting there in church today so you could have seen my face… it is full of love and pride and admiration for your obedience. One of my best friends is going through this with her husband right now and your story reaffirms the hope that they are trying to hold onto. No one goes through life without making mistakes. It’s learning from them, healing from them and helping others because of them that matters.
love to you both.
[Reply]
I’ve never been more proud to call you my friend. You two rocked it today because glorifying God was your chosen option!
[Reply]
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Jenni. My parents are going through something similar and I am hoping that through you and Brian they too can begin the healing process with God leading the way. You are an amazing person and I’m so proud that “this girl I knew in 7th grade” has turned out to be such a strong woman of God! You guys are in my prayers big time.
[Reply]
Lynse – you know I love you MORE… probably because you’re totally dysfunctional. We crazies need to stick together, right?
Gitz (Sara) – We’re not the only one’s who have gone through this and are making it work. Just to name a couple of my friends… Justin & Trisha Davis (www.refineus.org) and Chad & Sarah Markley (www.sarahmarkley.com).
Melinda – seeing your sweet face out there supporting us this morning helped us WAY more than you’ll ever realize. Thank you!
Jess – Please send your parents to this link (or to the Davis’ or Markley’s). There is hope. I promise!
[Reply]
YOU WHAT?!?
just kidding.
duh.
i love love love love love you. just listened to the message and even though i’ve heard it and read it and knew your story, i am so proud of you for being vulnerable – really, truly vulnerable before your church body. wow, i am so excited to see how God continues to heal you, your marriage and how He’ll use this to impact many others. you are a remarkable woman, and this is proof, sister.
[Reply]
Thank you for following His leading and being vulnerable and authentic and sharing your story. It gives me hope to know that not only your marriage but other marriages are being restored and have been restored. Instead of giving up both of you have pressed on and continue to press on.
Much Love.
[Reply]
Jenni, I am praying for you and Brian. I am praying God does a deep work in both your lives and your marriage. As you know, ministry will flow out of the work God is doing in your life so let God take care of that, dont worry about it and just lean into God and love on your husband and family. God will honor your desire to live in truth. It might take time for you to see some of those results but life with Christ is a journey – and I know God has beautiful things on the horizon for you.
The most incredible, deepest experiences with God and one another are never cheap or easy. Kudos to you both for not taking the easy route, but choosing to live in complete and utter honesty.
God’s blessings to you both.
[Reply]
Wow. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s amazing to hear about God’s redemptive work in each of you and your marriage.
“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.” -Rev 12:11
I’m encouraged by you both and will be praying for your family.
[Reply]
Thank you ALL for your prayers! I’m still spinning from today and what God did.
He is good!
[Reply]
Brian and Jenni,
Thank you for your authenticity, vulnerability, and for your example of returning to Jesus in your marriage. I thank God that you are still together, and that you are lifting up Jesus in your restoration.
Jay
[Reply]
Jay and I just listened to your story…you both communicated very well and were REAL…so proud of you both. We love you…
xoxoxo-
Alli
by the way, Did I take that pic???
[Reply]
Thanks for sharing the audio.
I agree with Jay, the testament of staying together through this is a great one.
Tyler
[Reply]
I think that it rocks that God is leading couples into the light and taking away the enemy’s power of shame.
Adultery is a sin, no doubt. I know from experience. I know from hearing the confessions. I know from meeting people.
In most of these cases not only is Adultery a sin but it is also a lifeline. I know that sounds weird, but when it all comes out. Fighting for your marriage becomes the focus. Instead of the focus being on the dark-side of the issue.
I know that we don’t know each other but I am so darn proud of you and Brian. I am grateful also for your support group. I know it is big!
[Reply]
Thank you both for sharing your story. We prayed for you guys and really felt, without knowing anything you were going to share, that you would touch the hearts of many people and I’m sure you have done that.
I have been there, in your shoes and in Brian’s shoes, but I wasn’t at a point where I acknowledged God or His plan for me. We have both forgiven each other, but until today, after listening to your story, we really hadn’t told “all there was to tell”. Thank you and thank God for speaking to us through you. There is so much hurt and pain with digging up the past and it takes a strong couple, a couple designed by God to be together, to pull through it.
I trust in Him that you, Brian, Ria and myself fit that description and will come out stronger in the end.
Thanks again!
[Reply]
Thank you, Jay, Alli & Tyler… and probably Rose too…
Brian and I are SO thankful for your friendship. Oh… and Brian had a great time with you boys the other night.
Alli… yes you DID take that picture… at Holly’s birthday party. And your avatar shows Jay.
[Reply]
So proud of you for sharing and making things right with GOD and each other. Love you both and am praying.
[Reply]
All I can think after listening to your story is, “For when I am weak, then I am made strong”. Thank you for being obedient by pointing people towards HIS glory (no matter how uncomfortable it is for you). I will be praying for you two. I don’t know you and have never met you, but I am sending love your way
[Reply]
Theresa – ABSOLUTELY!!! What you said is SO true. It’s weird how something as big as this… that destroyed our world as we knew it… became the saving grace for Brian and me. Sin is STILL sin and we still suffer the consequences of my choices… but I am so grateful I get a second chance with Jesus & Brian.
Ok… so… it’s more like a 2MILLIONth chance with God
Toby – WOW!!! I’m so glad you guys are talking about that. That is SO awesome! I’d love to hear your story one day.
Helen -I love you, sister! Thank you for all your prayer and support from the very beginning. You rallied support of us overseas and never judged me. I am SO thankful for a sister like you!
Jessica – THANK YOU! You totally get it… it’s gonna get harder before it gets any easier. So, thank you!
[Reply]
just got through the whole story…you both did a great job, stayed calm yet very real with your thoughts, pain, emotions. Privileged to see God work in you both and feel honored that He brought you both next door so I can have a front row seat. No more hiding in the house girlfriend, ok?
Love you both…since the day 6 months ago we had “the talk” I (we) have been praying for you daily..that will not stop. Praise God that He, and ONLY He, can take something that was meant for harm and turn it to something good.
[Reply]
Oh Laura… sometimes I need to hide in the house cuz I haven’t showered.
HAHAHA!!! Just kidding… I love you and am SO glad we’re neighbors. Let’s cuddle.
[Reply]
I’ll cuddle…as long as you’ve showered
[Reply]
well… i AM working on refinement… may as well work on this side of it as well
[Reply]
Jenni:
Thank you for sharing your story. I found this because of Justin Davis’ blog and my heart just broke for you. I was in ministry and while I didn’t have the actual physical affair I had a relationship with a woman other than my wife which was almost to that point along with a porn addiction. When I confessed everything, the ministry I was with did everything you feared. I lost my job, my friends and my marriage was damaged to the point that it was a slow five year death to divorce. I’m amazed I didn’t kill myself.
God’s restored a little in my life in that I have a new wife and a step daughter I can see every day. It doesn’t ease the pain of seeing my two sons only two days a month because they live with their mother at all and waking up every day to know they’re not there is a constant reminder of my sins. I’m praising God right now that you didn’t have to experience that pain.
God hasn’t chosen to restore me to any ministry and I’ll be honest…that hurts a lot too. It’s hard not to look at someone God left in ministry after their confessions or someone who was restored in a short time and not scream out wondering why I’ve gone nine years in the desert. But He’s faithful. There’s a purpose even if I can’t see it. It’s just not my time to inspire, encourage and show the path to healing as it is your time. I’ll keep you in prayer in this season for both your healing and the healing you will spur in others.
[Reply]
Jenni, just listened to your story and when you started crying I wanted to run to your house and give you a giant hug!! But, if I had done that today the moment was, obviously, over and I can’t seem to run far without damaging some part of my pregnant body
But seriously, you two did a beautiful job in sharing and I loved how Brian was honest about not being supported enough and what people could do if they didn’t know what to do and am praying for you both as you continue to work on the recovery process. I’m so glad your heart is no longer carrying the burden of the secret. Hard days now can’t be anything like hard days in hiding.
Love you!! Glad we got together a couple weeks ago. You’re on my heart!
[Reply]
Wow. Powerful. Blessings to you and Brian as you witness forgiveness and reconciliation to all around you.
[Reply]
Jason… I’m so sorry for all you are carrying and still are. Brian and I are praying for you. We have no idea why we can have similar stories yet such different outcomes… but we DO know that God is bigger than all of that. I am happy to hear you get to experience love and life with your wife and step daughter now, though.
Carrie… love you! thank you… for everything! And I’m glad you didn’t run your pregnant self over here. You’re hilarious!
[Reply]
Jenni,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am humbled by women who speak out, shedding light on darkness, thereby casting the darkness aside.
[Reply]
your honesty, truth, and authenticity are inspiring. even more so that you have brought this to your church in the midst of pain and recovery, THAT is how church should be. we walk together through sin, up and down. We have friends that are going through similar times, unfortunately they have not obeyed or come to God. thank you for what you have done.
[Reply]
Jenni, you do not know who I am, but I have followed your set list updates for some time now through the online community. Thank you so much for being so open and candid about your personal story… it takes courage to face issues the way you did and I am moved practically to tears just hearing about all the healing that God has brought in your life. From all the comments posted here, I can see that you are loved deeply and surrounded by great people and I am thrilled to see the body of christ at work.
blessings
P
[Reply]
I love your heart for God, and how you’re allowing something so horrible and shameful to be used to draw people to Him. You’re a brave girl and Brian is lucky to have you. Thank you for being so honest with your struggles, women need to hear that they CAN be restored, that God NEVER gives up on us. Thank you!
[Reply]
Wow…Jenni. It took so much courage to come out and tell your story. It moved me to tears. If anything, I love you more as a friend. I am proud of you and Brian for coming out and telling your story. I pray that God continue to heal you both. LOVE YOU!!!
[Reply]
i am crying. i just listened to your testimony. something similar happened to my family just recently. as “children” (no matter how old children are)it still hurt us deeply. my parents divorced because of it. your story brings hope for healing in the midst of a chaotic divorce. thank you for sharing it.
[Reply]
That is so awesome. Can’t wait to listen!
[Reply]
Jenni; WOW! I will lift you both up in prayer in the days ahead. Comming out as you put it was such a brave and wise thing to do.My dad has had more women in his life (while being married to my mom)than I can count.Really, they were married 22 years and we moved 36 times almost each time leaving behind one of his girlfriends.Always trying to get a new start.To dad I think it ment a new girlfriend! I am now a grown adult and to this day he denies it all.My parents are now divorced.We have talked once in the last 2 years. He just does’ent get it.I have forgiven him, but I keep him at a distance the hurt he causes is just not worth it. When I heard you ask for forgivness…..I just wanted to cry,you both are facing this head on, what courage!I belive God will truly honor that truth.
[Reply]
Loved your testimony at your church– so brave. And we know first-hand how intimidating being that open can be
We did a video that was shown right before our vow renewal last year; and it was a very scary step; but out of our obedience God has opened so many opportunities for healing.
Love what you all said about divorcing your old marriage and starting anew; something that we still have trouble with. To be honest, we experienced that same difficulty with having ongoing “present” support from folks in our church because it was such a difficult situation. We knew they were praying for us, but it was hard to feel like we were on our own in seeking God.
But God, you know?!?
He saved us anyway
Ok, done posting all over your blog now. Have a blessed week!
[Reply]
[...] Todd who is preparing to go Gold Mining in Alaska. I came here a year ago when my life was in serious crisis and I didn’t know if my marriage was going to survive. He helped me face some of my inner [...]