Jenni on Skype: jclayville 
Last week, we started the Hostage Series at Church at Bethany by focusing on WORRY.
To be completely honest, I knew I would struggle with this series. I’m kind of a hostage to myself. I worry about everything… even over the silliest things that really don’t need to be worried about.
This week, God spoke right to my heart… BITTERNESS.
What really hit home was when Matt said this:
Bitter people…
… tend to justify bitterness
… tend to be overly critical
… secretly celebrate the misfortune of others
… tend to write-off groups of people
… fail to recognize the bitterness in the mirror
I am guilty of all of these things.
There have been times I thought I had gotten rid of my bitterness because I “weeded” by cutting it off at the stem. But because I never FULLY dealt with ME, it always came back. My bitterness is deeply rooted. I’m not sure where my bitterness came from… but at this point, it really doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I can NOT stay bitter anymore. I have a husband and two sons that deserve more than just my reserves. The only way to kill the root of bitterness is WITH forgiveness. Forgiveness towards people who have hurt me… and forgiveness to myself for hurting myself AND others. How dare I hold forgiveness from people and even myself when God has sacrificially forgiven me?
“… forgiveness meant that God is for giving, and that we are here for giving too, and that to withhold love or blessings is to be completely delusional.” ~ Anne Lamott
I’m thankful for the blood of Jesus. I’m thankful for another day. And I’m thankful for the opportunities to change old broken relationships for the better.
Today’s Sunday Setlist was:
- Holy Is The Lord – Chris Tomlin
- King of Glory – Chris Tomlin
- Nothing But The Blood – Robert Lowry
- O The Blood – Hillsong
- Revelation Song – Jennie Riddle
- You Alone – David Crowder
- You’ll Come – Brooke Fraser
Highlights: I love a fuller band sound. I love daylight savings for that extra hour. I love how our church pulls together for a common purpose. I love how real Matt Payne is willing to be. I love when the act of worshiping is made easier because you don’t have to worry about the logistics. Today was a great day.
Lowlights: Though I’m not sick, my throat is fighting me on that. Time to give my vocal cords some TLC, I think.
How was YOUR Sunday? Link away.
mmmmm. like I said on twitter this morning, bitterness and I are old friends…. sometimes more in touch than others.
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Jenni Clayville Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:42 am
you and me both. time to step out and forgive, huh?
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brandolynicole Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:58 am
I kept thinking about this, and I wasn’t thinking it was about forgiveness for me (at first) but I guess the ROOT of it really is…. I get bitter b/c I get frustrated and annoyed so easily by people (ugly, I know) and then I’m forever annoyed at what I see as incompetance (so so ugly but I swear I’m not mean LOL) that I just become bitter. EW. It’s all so gross sounding.
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Jenni Clayville Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
i understand… because i do the same thing.
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Great thoughts and a great list – thanks for sharing it all with us.
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Jenni Clayville Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:36 am
Thanks for stopping by!
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ummmmm….i dont wanna talk about bitterness…we are pretty much best friends at times.
and…are you giving us a look into the future…or is it already the 9th of November? Dang…i slept 8 days?!!?
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jenni Reply:
November 1st, 2009 at 6:43 pm
ha! oops… typo. fixed it.
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When you do “blood” songs, does anyone have negative comments about blood itself? I’ve never introduced a “blood” song to our church. Seems so graphic. I know it’s all part of the crucifixion, but I just hesitate to sing about fountains of blood, blood pouring out, power in the blood, etc. For personal worship, yes. I’ve got several favorites that I just never have peace about putting out there for corporate worship.
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Jenni Clayville Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:41 am
no one has ever had a negative comment about “blood” songs. the whole reason we are saved is because of the BLOOD of Christ. we shout it out boldly. there’s nothing safe about being a Christ follower… nothing comfortable… so i believe our job as lead worshipers is to help USHER the church to the foot of His Throne and that includes thanking Him for the blood he shed.
you may disagree, but i think if you “protect” your congregation from “blood” songs, you are helping to set them up for failure in sharing the gospel with the unchurched. i believe it helps foster an attitude of convenient Christianity.
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brandolynicole Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 8:01 am
I LOVE the “blood” songs…. makes it more real to have to actually voice what really happened.
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Three things…
I worry way too much as well!
I am currently loving “Revelation Song”
I think we should have an extra hour EVERY Saturday night!
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Jenni Clayville Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:41 am
i’m with you on all three, Jen!
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Hey girl! Amazing Set List!
Miss tweeting with you guys. I have been “offline” for a while now.
Quite a story, but God is good…
Have a blessed week!
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Jenni Clayville Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:05 pm
yeah… we miss seeing your tweets. i can’t wait to hear what’s been brewing in your lives behind the scene. praying for you!
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okay, i am not even kidding… when i was reading your tweets yesterday i was thinking, “dang, that message sounds just like the one Dan (my pastor) gave this weekend.”
we too, started the series HOSTAGE. hahahaha. wow, thanks LifeChurch.tv! lol.
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hey my rad friend! Thanks for sharing your setlist! Blessings! P
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