Jenni Clayville

Today’s Sunday Setlist:

1. Indescribable – Chris Tomlin
2. Blessed Be Your Name – Matt Redman
3. How Great Is Our God – Chris Tomlin
4. Healer – Mike Guglielmucci
5. Give Us Clean Hands – Charlie Hall
6. From The Inside Out – Joel Houston
7. Hosanna -Brooke Fraser

I received this forward from my father-in-law today:

THE BUZZARD:
If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10 to 12 feet Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.

THE BAT:
The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.

THE BUMBLEBEE:
A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom.. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.

I don’t usually do the “email forward” thing, but this one connected with our current “Hostage” series.  Today, Matt talked about “Addictions” and how we are ALL addicted to something.  Not everyone is addicted to something as “big” as alcohol, sex or porn… but I am POSITIVE we all have addictions that pulls us away from God.  And if you’re that ONE person that says you DON’T have an addiction, then you are in some serious denial, friend.

Maybe our addiction is…
… control.
… our kids.
… for acceptance.
… Starbucks.

I’m pretty sure I can raise my hand to all of those.

During the in-between, when my affair was over and before I told Brian, I felt completely trapped.  I really didn’t think I had a way out.  It was one of two things.  Either tell Brian everything and LOSE everything… or keep it all till death.  That was it.  I had NO clue that God’s plan for me and my marriage would be restoration.  I never bothered looking UP to see my way out.

This morning, Matt said:  ”When you tell your secrets of addiction, don’t just tell 90%… share the final 10 too!”

You see… I did EXACTLY that.  When I came out, I didn’t tell the full truth.  I only shared 90% of it.  There are a lot of reasons I did that.
I thought I was protecting Brian.
I didn’t want to hurt him more.
I still wanted to protect the other man.
I was scared.

But the most REAL reason is this: I was still protecting my addiction… ME.

For some strange reason, I really believed I could do a better job protecting myself than God could… when in actuality, what I really needed was to STOP trying to “save” myself and just look up… where FREEDOM is openly available.

I wish I looked up sooner… because freedom is sweet. But I guess it all doesn’t matter, because I am tasting freedom now.

Sorrow looks back,
Worry looks around,
But faith looks up!

Are you tasting freedom? or are you still looking down?